never believed in higher power, I do now!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
never believed in higher power, I do now!
Ive been trying to stop using for years. Tried on my own, tried NA and AA, but nothing worked. for the past year or more I have been plagued with problems due to my addiction and no matter how bad things got I couldnt find it in myself to pray and didnt believe faith in a higher power could help me through any of this.
In the past year my problems with the law have been overwhelming. i have been in and out of jail and court and paying fines up the butt.
Today I had to go back to court and I was sure I as going to be locked up because I was facinfg 6 charges and didnt think they were going to let me off with just paying fines this time.
I was really scaird to the point of wanting to jump off a bridge my stress level was so high.
About 2 weeks ago I decided to just give praying a shot. I felt really awkward, but I had no other options. Everything I was going through was out of my hands and in the hands of the prosecutor my lawyer and the judge.
last night in the middle of the parking lot at the state fair I was having a meltdown and I found myself on my hands and knees asking God to have mercy on me and give me another chance.
I went to court this afternoon and nothing short of a miracle happened.
I was looking at 5 criminal charges and 1 town ordinance charge. somehow the public defender got the prosecutor to drop 3 of the charges. I was extremely grateful for that, but it got even better for me.
When I went in front of the judge he suspended 2 of the fines out of the 3 so even though I was chargd with 3 offenses I only have to pay for one of them.
money has been really tight and there was no way I could have payed all those fines and would have ended up locked up.
Even though everything went better than I could ever imagine I left the court room bawling my eyes out. I have been under so much stress lately I was just completly overcome by relief.
I truly believe things went well because I had enough faith to leave my problems in Gods hands. surrendered
I am an extremely grateful individual today and I will never take the power of prayer for granted again.
I feel reborn and I feel like I owe something, basically I owe it to God and myself to really start doing everything in my power to stay clean.
Tonight is a new beginning.
In the past year my problems with the law have been overwhelming. i have been in and out of jail and court and paying fines up the butt.
Today I had to go back to court and I was sure I as going to be locked up because I was facinfg 6 charges and didnt think they were going to let me off with just paying fines this time.
I was really scaird to the point of wanting to jump off a bridge my stress level was so high.
About 2 weeks ago I decided to just give praying a shot. I felt really awkward, but I had no other options. Everything I was going through was out of my hands and in the hands of the prosecutor my lawyer and the judge.
last night in the middle of the parking lot at the state fair I was having a meltdown and I found myself on my hands and knees asking God to have mercy on me and give me another chance.
I went to court this afternoon and nothing short of a miracle happened.
I was looking at 5 criminal charges and 1 town ordinance charge. somehow the public defender got the prosecutor to drop 3 of the charges. I was extremely grateful for that, but it got even better for me.
When I went in front of the judge he suspended 2 of the fines out of the 3 so even though I was chargd with 3 offenses I only have to pay for one of them.
money has been really tight and there was no way I could have payed all those fines and would have ended up locked up.
Even though everything went better than I could ever imagine I left the court room bawling my eyes out. I have been under so much stress lately I was just completly overcome by relief.
I truly believe things went well because I had enough faith to leave my problems in Gods hands. surrendered
I am an extremely grateful individual today and I will never take the power of prayer for granted again.
I feel reborn and I feel like I owe something, basically I owe it to God and myself to really start doing everything in my power to stay clean.
Tonight is a new beginning.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
Cool ! A big Ol God Bomb !!!!
In my 8 short months of recovery , I've seen that happen in the rooms 3 or 4 times. One guy had 15 warrants, walked into court and pulled his docket. He walked back out of court with a $500.00 fine and 30 days house arrest.
In my 8 short months of recovery , I've seen that happen in the rooms 3 or 4 times. One guy had 15 warrants, walked into court and pulled his docket. He walked back out of court with a $500.00 fine and 30 days house arrest.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,047
I'm very happy for you, bfree. I love hearing positive success stories, especially when someone shares their experience of coming to believe in a higher power!
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
Awwww Beth that is great!!!!
Now maybe you can ask HP to help you find an AFFORDABLE and SAFE, SERENE place for you to live, which would also help you in your recovery.
Beth you really are doing great in your recovery, you are growing and changing...........makes my heart smile.
Love and lots of hugs,
Now maybe you can ask HP to help you find an AFFORDABLE and SAFE, SERENE place for you to live, which would also help you in your recovery.
Beth you really are doing great in your recovery, you are growing and changing...........makes my heart smile.
Love and lots of hugs,
Don't get undies in a bunch
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: South Shore MA
Posts: 7,120
Originally Posted by bfree4u 
. Everything I was going through was out of my hands and in the hands of the prosecutor my lawyer and the judge.
Tonight is a new beginning.
Tonight is a new beginning.
Make the most of your new beginning.
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
A Simple Prayer
((((((Beth))))))
Here is a simple prayer which helps me to understand it take both!
God, Help me to remember that nothing is going to happen today, that YOU and I can't handle together.
It Works
I feel reborn and I feel like I owe something, basically I owe it to God and myself to really start doing everything in my power to stay clean.
God, Help me to remember that nothing is going to happen today, that YOU and I can't handle together.
It Works
Life is Grand
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,039
Originally Posted by Chance
God, Help me to remember that nothing is going to happen today, that YOU and I can't handle together.
It Works
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Originally Posted by Surlyredhead
You just don't know how much I needed to hear that today!!!!!
During the day I find myself saying that Prayer and in all reality I try to keep my Program as simple as I can. I don't say a lot of prayers but I do say that, the third step prayer of NA and also the serenity prayer. I also pray for others "Thy Will Not Mine Be Done" it is basic and easy for this addict to remember
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Originally Posted by Chance
((((((Beth))))))
Here is a simple prayer which helps me to understand it take both!
God, Help me to remember that nothing is going to happen today, that YOU and I can't handle together.
It Works
Here is a simple prayer which helps me to understand it take both!
God, Help me to remember that nothing is going to happen today, that YOU and I can't handle together.
It Works
Thanks Vic, I really needed to hear that too and will be using it today and other today's as well
Kevin
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Bfree....
Hallelujah!
This is truly good news! So very very happy this weight has
been taken from you...
I agree with Laurie...go on and ask for other things in your
life...grace never stops..never.
My daily prayer is to ask God direct my thinking for just this day..and
"Not my will but Thine".. or.. "Take my will and my life...guide me
in my recovery".
It does work!
Love,
IO
Hallelujah!
This is truly good news! So very very happy this weight has
been taken from you...
I agree with Laurie...go on and ask for other things in your
life...grace never stops..never.
My daily prayer is to ask God direct my thinking for just this day..and
"Not my will but Thine".. or.. "Take my will and my life...guide me
in my recovery".
It does work!
Love,
IO
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: wherever my feet take me
Posts: 1,314
THANK YOU EVERYONE!
now that i dont have as much to worry about it will be easier to move forward and focus on sobriety. it was nearly impossible for me to stay clean for any period of time because I just couldnt handle all the stress.
not a good excuse, but that is just the way it was.
Vic thanks for the prayer. I will say that everyday. It is simple and it says it all.
I dont have much practice in the prayer department so if anyone has other prayers they say to help them get through the hard times I would like to hear them.
Today I counted my blessings and when I had the chance to get high I turned it down. The thought of using seemed less than appealing.
Tonight at the fair instead of going in and out of the bathroom to take hits I enjoyed talking to the people and took in the beautiful night. It felt great to be able to talk to people instead of being all wired and paranoid or all downed out and numb.
On my way home I felt like I was floating on air. I havent felt so light in a long time. I have been felling so friggin weighed down for so long and it was really taking a toll on me.
I had some good days, but on a whole I couldnt get it together. Couldnt even make the decision on whether or not I truly wanted to get it together. I had more moments of wanting to give up than I did in wanting to live a healthy life.
Instead of spending $ on drugs I bought myself some chicken fingers with fries and induldged on a funnel cake. Fried refined white flour covered with confectionary sugar. YUMMY. Probably gonna send my restless leg sundrome off the charts tonight, but it cant keep me more awake than the coke would have.
I am pretty wound up right now, but something tells me I am still gonna get the best non drug or alcohol induced sleep I have had in eons.
Laurie I will be praying everyday for a peaceful and serene environment to live in. Nothing would make me happier.
If I had time and a place to have some peace of mind my need to feel like i have to get f'd up would be lessened.
I am just so grateful today and I thank my higher power.
I cant deny that there was some intervention by a force way greater than myself and I am just so thankful.
I keep finding myself crying, but instead of distress they are tears of joy.
now that i dont have as much to worry about it will be easier to move forward and focus on sobriety. it was nearly impossible for me to stay clean for any period of time because I just couldnt handle all the stress.
not a good excuse, but that is just the way it was.
Vic thanks for the prayer. I will say that everyday. It is simple and it says it all.
I dont have much practice in the prayer department so if anyone has other prayers they say to help them get through the hard times I would like to hear them.
Today I counted my blessings and when I had the chance to get high I turned it down. The thought of using seemed less than appealing.
Tonight at the fair instead of going in and out of the bathroom to take hits I enjoyed talking to the people and took in the beautiful night. It felt great to be able to talk to people instead of being all wired and paranoid or all downed out and numb.
On my way home I felt like I was floating on air. I havent felt so light in a long time. I have been felling so friggin weighed down for so long and it was really taking a toll on me.
I had some good days, but on a whole I couldnt get it together. Couldnt even make the decision on whether or not I truly wanted to get it together. I had more moments of wanting to give up than I did in wanting to live a healthy life.
Instead of spending $ on drugs I bought myself some chicken fingers with fries and induldged on a funnel cake. Fried refined white flour covered with confectionary sugar. YUMMY. Probably gonna send my restless leg sundrome off the charts tonight, but it cant keep me more awake than the coke would have.
I am pretty wound up right now, but something tells me I am still gonna get the best non drug or alcohol induced sleep I have had in eons.
Laurie I will be praying everyday for a peaceful and serene environment to live in. Nothing would make me happier.
If I had time and a place to have some peace of mind my need to feel like i have to get f'd up would be lessened.
I am just so grateful today and I thank my higher power.
I cant deny that there was some intervention by a force way greater than myself and I am just so thankful.
I keep finding myself crying, but instead of distress they are tears of joy.
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