UUUUGGGHH...What a day!!!
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
UUUUGGGHH...What a day!!!
My patience is truely being tested today.
First I get a call this morning fr5om my lawer. It was good news really . Because all they have is a statement from the boss...and the cop sayin I admitted to him after I had tried to kill myself. He shouldnt even been questionoing me about that insidant on a 911 call that had nothing to do with the job crap.
So she said they dont have anything and they will have to prove it.
No videao or anything. Just here say. So that isnt gonna hold up in court.I hope I get lucky and they just decide to throw it out.
But for some reason I went into a full panic attack after I got off the phone with her. Took me an hour to calm down and was shaking all day. Dont know why. I thought it was pretty good news, Except the part where she told me they will be vringing my whole record in it. MAn it is a colorful one. I admitted to her I had a drug problem and I was actively working a program and attending online meetings and have verification of it. And I am see a counselor. I have a statement from the er Dr saying what hapened to me when I was brought in.
And if that wasnt enough the freakin mgr where I live came and got all in my dadfs face because they were blocking the road and he couldnt get through. So he asked them to move and she got all snotty as she always does and whatever. Then she comes to my house and I hear my grams sayin thats my son and I knew she was out there. I get out there and she is all in my facelike she wants to swing. My dad is ignoring her and turning his back on her and she follows him and is like 2 inches from his face bowed up screaming in his face.
Man I have been working on my anger. But you are not going to disrespect anyone in my family and think your not gonna have to deal with me. So I go out ther and shes got her finger all pointed in his face and screaming like 2 in. from his face like a direspectful c***. So I go out and told her better back the F Up. I was like you dont ever want to get in my face like that because I'll knock your ass out . She just looked at me and left. Yea thats what I thought. I am pretty intimidating when I get mad and I am a big girl. Not so much fat but built like a tank. LOL
I feel bad I let my anger get the best of me. But F that. I'll be damned if ANYONE thinks they are going to disrespect anyone I care about and think I aint gonna say or do anything about it. Thats how I always get in trouble. But oh well. Thats my dad. You mess with him your messin with me. And I hate it for anyone who tries me.
I could ahve handled it better . But when I get mad like that. I go into street mode.
Just been a stressful day. Thank goodness I had an appt with the Dr today. He uped my xanax. So i feel better now.
Sorry for rantin on stupid stuff. I just need to get it out.
First I get a call this morning fr5om my lawer. It was good news really . Because all they have is a statement from the boss...and the cop sayin I admitted to him after I had tried to kill myself. He shouldnt even been questionoing me about that insidant on a 911 call that had nothing to do with the job crap.
So she said they dont have anything and they will have to prove it.
No videao or anything. Just here say. So that isnt gonna hold up in court.I hope I get lucky and they just decide to throw it out.
But for some reason I went into a full panic attack after I got off the phone with her. Took me an hour to calm down and was shaking all day. Dont know why. I thought it was pretty good news, Except the part where she told me they will be vringing my whole record in it. MAn it is a colorful one. I admitted to her I had a drug problem and I was actively working a program and attending online meetings and have verification of it. And I am see a counselor. I have a statement from the er Dr saying what hapened to me when I was brought in.
And if that wasnt enough the freakin mgr where I live came and got all in my dadfs face because they were blocking the road and he couldnt get through. So he asked them to move and she got all snotty as she always does and whatever. Then she comes to my house and I hear my grams sayin thats my son and I knew she was out there. I get out there and she is all in my facelike she wants to swing. My dad is ignoring her and turning his back on her and she follows him and is like 2 inches from his face bowed up screaming in his face.
Man I have been working on my anger. But you are not going to disrespect anyone in my family and think your not gonna have to deal with me. So I go out ther and shes got her finger all pointed in his face and screaming like 2 in. from his face like a direspectful c***. So I go out and told her better back the F Up. I was like you dont ever want to get in my face like that because I'll knock your ass out . She just looked at me and left. Yea thats what I thought. I am pretty intimidating when I get mad and I am a big girl. Not so much fat but built like a tank. LOL
I feel bad I let my anger get the best of me. But F that. I'll be damned if ANYONE thinks they are going to disrespect anyone I care about and think I aint gonna say or do anything about it. Thats how I always get in trouble. But oh well. Thats my dad. You mess with him your messin with me. And I hate it for anyone who tries me.
I could ahve handled it better . But when I get mad like that. I go into street mode.
Just been a stressful day. Thank goodness I had an appt with the Dr today. He uped my xanax. So i feel better now.
Sorry for rantin on stupid stuff. I just need to get it out.
believer
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 2,411
Damn chiy, you are fierce..lol..you remind me of my mom..she always fights with people for justice, anybody..one time this dog came to try to bit my dog and she starts arguing heavily with the owner...and while they argued i had a pit bull around my legs..i was like, hello, focus here..hahaha...when i see people messing with mine, i could ahh.....it's like it's worse if they do it to my family than to me...
glad for you being happy about the court.........
glad for you being happy about the court.........
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I cant let this anger over that landlord go...I am so Fing irrate right now
I want to go knok that bitch out for disrespecting my father like that
i cant calm down and i am getting angrier and angrier.
Respect is a big thing with me and that c*** crossed the line
i need some to talk to me.
\Also i was just at my online meeting and i thought that where you go when you are in distress. But they said i was upsetting everyone. Whatever.
Poeple just dont know how to deal with me. I say it llike it is and I am not sugar coating anything. I am going to put it on the table how it is.
My anger especially this situation brings the old street me out. I dont like it.
its been over 6 hours and i am still mad as hell.
WTF!!!!!
I was doing good. That bitch crossed thye line disrespecting my father gettoing in his face like she gonna jump pr somehitn/ i came out layed it down and she didnt say anothe rowrd and left.
I dont like that me. That is what I am trying to get away from.
SIGH. Dam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I want to go knok that bitch out for disrespecting my father like that
i cant calm down and i am getting angrier and angrier.
Respect is a big thing with me and that c*** crossed the line
i need some to talk to me.
\Also i was just at my online meeting and i thought that where you go when you are in distress. But they said i was upsetting everyone. Whatever.
Poeple just dont know how to deal with me. I say it llike it is and I am not sugar coating anything. I am going to put it on the table how it is.
My anger especially this situation brings the old street me out. I dont like it.
its been over 6 hours and i am still mad as hell.
WTF!!!!!
I was doing good. That bitch crossed thye line disrespecting my father gettoing in his face like she gonna jump pr somehitn/ i came out layed it down and she didnt say anothe rowrd and left.
I dont like that me. That is what I am trying to get away from.
SIGH. Dam!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
believer
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Europe
Posts: 2,411
it's ok to feel that way.but don't let her negativity ruin your day...don't let her win like that...the best thing you can do is move on and not give her the satisfaction of having you think about her..
take care..
take care..
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: South Africa
Posts: 138
I pick up in your post the problem lies with others. Could it be Terminal Uniqueness you suffer from. As an addict, I was most definately sooo different. Others were always wrong and making me so angry!!!! Why F with me!!
Through recovery I have learnt that my Terminal Uniqueness is a fatal flaw. That is what will lead me all the way - jails institutions or death.
I now understand I am the problem; I choose to be in effect of others - or not.
Lastly, in terms of the legal aspects, I followed your earlier post on this. I strongly believe amends need to be made. One of the basic spiritual principals is honesty. The univeral laws tell us about action and reaction.
If I sound like I am comming down on you - sorry. Its out of my own experiencwe of recovery. I read a lot of your posts. You give a lot. I like that about you.
Take care
Through recovery I have learnt that my Terminal Uniqueness is a fatal flaw. That is what will lead me all the way - jails institutions or death.
I now understand I am the problem; I choose to be in effect of others - or not.
Lastly, in terms of the legal aspects, I followed your earlier post on this. I strongly believe amends need to be made. One of the basic spiritual principals is honesty. The univeral laws tell us about action and reaction.
If I sound like I am comming down on you - sorry. Its out of my own experiencwe of recovery. I read a lot of your posts. You give a lot. I like that about you.
Take care
Looking For Myself...Sober
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
I'm sorry cala..but ur post just made no sense to me.
MAybe becaus i just woke up ..BUt pls dont touch on my court situation with me right now. I am ok with that.
But I will never let disrespect fly with me. Especially when it comes to my family. My flaw so be it.
Disrespect is the worst thing anyone can do to me.or my family. And if I must get that way. Than so be. Respect is very big with me.
Nobody can come down on me but God. But thx anyway.
And just to add. Unfortunately I will always be the first to be there to stand up for my family. That type of $hit dont fly with me anfd never will. And if I have to take the reprecussions for standing up for my family. Better me than them.
Back in the day. Disrespect would have got their ass beat the F down. So it is a little progress. But none the less. I draw the line when it comes to respect. And I will be the first to put it down on someones sorry ass that messes with my family. I am more than happy to take the consequenses to that.
My family is my life and they are passive and i will damned if ANYONE thinks they are gonna think they can just disrespect anyone I love. If I gotta smack the hell outta someone to get the point across. OH well. But I guarantee they will think twice before trying to disrespect anyone again.
Tru Story.
MAybe becaus i just woke up ..BUt pls dont touch on my court situation with me right now. I am ok with that.
But I will never let disrespect fly with me. Especially when it comes to my family. My flaw so be it.
Disrespect is the worst thing anyone can do to me.or my family. And if I must get that way. Than so be. Respect is very big with me.
Nobody can come down on me but God. But thx anyway.
And just to add. Unfortunately I will always be the first to be there to stand up for my family. That type of $hit dont fly with me anfd never will. And if I have to take the reprecussions for standing up for my family. Better me than them.
Back in the day. Disrespect would have got their ass beat the F down. So it is a little progress. But none the less. I draw the line when it comes to respect. And I will be the first to put it down on someones sorry ass that messes with my family. I am more than happy to take the consequenses to that.
My family is my life and they are passive and i will damned if ANYONE thinks they are gonna think they can just disrespect anyone I love. If I gotta smack the hell outta someone to get the point across. OH well. But I guarantee they will think twice before trying to disrespect anyone again.
Tru Story.
Last edited by Aysha; 07-03-2007 at 03:08 AM.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,622
Chiy - you did so good to come here and let it out. Now see if you cand find a way to let it go. For your sake now. You don't have to keep fighting any more. It's finished. Don't let your head make it bigger ok?
Breathe. Go somewhere and have some quiet breathing time. In with cold air. Out with warm. In with God and out with Anger.
Big hugs coming your way ((((((((((((Chiy))))))))))
Breathe. Go somewhere and have some quiet breathing time. In with cold air. Out with warm. In with God and out with Anger.
Big hugs coming your way ((((((((((((Chiy))))))))))
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Chiy
you want straight talk ? this was one small stupid petty incident...I knwo you love your family but you are really making a meal of this, c...
Anger issues and I are like peanut butter and jelly OK ?....you need to step back and let it go...don't sweat the small stuff... this anger trip will consume ya and/or put you right back on the express route to crapsville...
and you're too good for that.
And we need ya here.
D
you want straight talk ? this was one small stupid petty incident...I knwo you love your family but you are really making a meal of this, c...
Anger issues and I are like peanut butter and jelly OK ?....you need to step back and let it go...don't sweat the small stuff... this anger trip will consume ya and/or put you right back on the express route to crapsville...
and you're too good for that.
And we need ya here.
D
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