still trying but need advice
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: England
Posts: 674
still trying but need advice
Hi all,
I am still quite new to posting but been reading for a while, I had 12 days last week, but I drank on Friday, I didn't drink yesterday but I have had a few today.
Ironically I can't drink anymore because I decided this was the day that I will give up again, so I bought a 1/2 bottle of rum and tipped the fist glass away, I know it sounds stupid lol, aren't we meant to avoid the first drink not tip it down the drain?
The reason I tipped the first one away is that I know that I can wake up reasonably ok if I drink 3/4 of the bottle and not do anything to stupid, and although I crave more I have enough wits about me not to do anything about it, but if I drank all of it then I will get somebody to bring me more! (once my girls are in bed, i have never left them, if I want more i have to phone someone to bring it to me)
Thats one of my problems, I can be that controlled? As in I know what I can and can't drink etc, but obvioulsy it doesn't happen all the time or I wouldn't be here? Oh gosh, so confused :s
anyway, I did decide today was the last day, also going to give up smoking, they are so entwined with me, for the last year and a half I have been giving up one or the other, but they go so well together, it is nearly allways the failing (is that a word?) factor in any of my quit attempts. When I quit smoking last year (many times, 5 weeks the longest) I drank way more than when I was smoking, compensating I guess?
When I did my 12 days last week I smoked way more than usual, when ever I try to quit one or the other takes over, and they go so well together I think, although I know this is going to be doublely hard I have to do both together i think, cause they just seem like a team ganging up on me, when I fight one the other goes even more crazy than usual with there, oh go on one more night of drinking and smoking, or ok drink tonight but don't smoke, or the other way, ok give up smoking still drink, they ade and abeit(sp) each other in my head. I think as hard as this is i am going to have to say good bye to them both at the same time or one or the other will tempt me back.
Sorry for ramberling, I have half a drink left and 6 ciggies. Monday is a new day as they say, I hope so
(8 pm here)
I am still quite new to posting but been reading for a while, I had 12 days last week, but I drank on Friday, I didn't drink yesterday but I have had a few today.
Ironically I can't drink anymore because I decided this was the day that I will give up again, so I bought a 1/2 bottle of rum and tipped the fist glass away, I know it sounds stupid lol, aren't we meant to avoid the first drink not tip it down the drain?
The reason I tipped the first one away is that I know that I can wake up reasonably ok if I drink 3/4 of the bottle and not do anything to stupid, and although I crave more I have enough wits about me not to do anything about it, but if I drank all of it then I will get somebody to bring me more! (once my girls are in bed, i have never left them, if I want more i have to phone someone to bring it to me)
Thats one of my problems, I can be that controlled? As in I know what I can and can't drink etc, but obvioulsy it doesn't happen all the time or I wouldn't be here? Oh gosh, so confused :s
anyway, I did decide today was the last day, also going to give up smoking, they are so entwined with me, for the last year and a half I have been giving up one or the other, but they go so well together, it is nearly allways the failing (is that a word?) factor in any of my quit attempts. When I quit smoking last year (many times, 5 weeks the longest) I drank way more than when I was smoking, compensating I guess?
When I did my 12 days last week I smoked way more than usual, when ever I try to quit one or the other takes over, and they go so well together I think, although I know this is going to be doublely hard I have to do both together i think, cause they just seem like a team ganging up on me, when I fight one the other goes even more crazy than usual with there, oh go on one more night of drinking and smoking, or ok drink tonight but don't smoke, or the other way, ok give up smoking still drink, they ade and abeit(sp) each other in my head. I think as hard as this is i am going to have to say good bye to them both at the same time or one or the other will tempt me back.
Sorry for ramberling, I have half a drink left and 6 ciggies. Monday is a new day as they say, I hope so
(8 pm here)
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
Forget the smoking for now. Concentrate on solving the drink problem.
Trying to controll your intake buy pouring away some of a bottle (or any method for that matter) is a good indicator that you're powerless over alcohol.
Trying to controll your intake buy pouring away some of a bottle (or any method for that matter) is a good indicator that you're powerless over alcohol.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: England
Posts: 674
I know I have come to accept that I am powerless in a kinda way, I can't get to AA meetings so I don't fully understand the steps, but I believe that is step one? Am I still not understanding it then if I am still trying to control it. Oh even writing that sounds mad, controlling it is not buying some and tipping some away is it :s
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
Yes, step one, the first part, is admitting you are powerless over alcohol. Basically, you can't drink (because you can't stop), and you can't NOT drink.
The second part, "that our lives had become unmanageable" is often mis-understood. Some say,"I have a job, I have a Wife, I'm managing just fine". Others say "I don't have a job, I don't have a wife, yeah, it's unmanageable" . The true meaning is we have no control over the final outcome of our lives. We can't control alcohol, and we can't control our lives either. Try as we might.
The second part is usually the harder of the two to swallow. Our pride and self-reliance tell us we can do anything we set our minds to. Experience, through humility , usually shows us otherwise....
The second part, "that our lives had become unmanageable" is often mis-understood. Some say,"I have a job, I have a Wife, I'm managing just fine". Others say "I don't have a job, I don't have a wife, yeah, it's unmanageable" . The true meaning is we have no control over the final outcome of our lives. We can't control alcohol, and we can't control our lives either. Try as we might.
The second part is usually the harder of the two to swallow. Our pride and self-reliance tell us we can do anything we set our minds to. Experience, through humility , usually shows us otherwise....
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