chicago

ive had a couple relationships in sobriety and it always seems to cause turmoil emotionally for me. during my first year i had a 4 month relationship with an older AA girl with alot of time. i was dishonest in the relationship and she's very sick --not a good mix. when i made amends to her she threatened me! i met another girl around 11 months who was constantly on my mind. it didnt go anywhere and i was crushed. i put expectations on it and was let down --what a suprise. a month ago i went out on 1 date with this girl who, again, i thought was perfect. she left for europe for 2 months a few days later. not really crushed, but still thought about her alot. then this summer i met this girl at class who is absolutely stunning. we exchanged numbers tonight and already im on cloud 9. again, im putting expectations on it. why can i not stop putting expectations on girls when i know i get let down? its like im powerless over girls. i truely am an alcoholic and i before God has a chance to let His will unfold, im already trying to impose my will on it. i struggle with relationships and i wonder if it comes down to insecurity on my part? sorry for the rant, but hey...i need to be honest when i have something that needs working on.

Dee74

well chicago I'm no relationships expert, but my behaviour in relationships was always pretty much like my drinking behavour...excessive, impulsive, self-centered and with a tenuous grip on reality...it's just a different manifestation of this..whatever it is I've got IMO....

I'm learning to conquer my drinking one day at a time, while also trying to look at my motivations, and to think long and carefully before I act...

I think any relationship I may get into in future might benefit from the same 'one day' mantra and the same introspection ?

D

CarolD

I ask my sponsees to read page 119 in
our 12&12 before starting a new love.

Those who follow that idea seem to have
a more positive experience.

Just a suggestion...