Change4life

My best friend scooped me up Friday night and brought me back to her house so i could get a break from this place. AHHHH rug and alcohol free. She went out with her friends friday night and just let me hang. I go to read and just relax without any of the turmoil or yelling I get at home.
Both saturday and sunday we went to the park with her dog walked around the lake and fed the ducks. It was beautiful weather and I really enjoyed it.
As soon as I got home I went right to slep and woke up refreshed Monday. Was in a great mood. As soon as I got ot work my boss attacked me because of some stupid mistake that was probably his fault anyway. It set me right off in a bad mood cause hes threatening to cut back my hours and I really need to save as much as possible so i can get out of here.
Then I go hame and Jonathan was in his usual angry mode.
It took all weekend to finally feel relaxed and about 8 hours to put my stress level back over the top.
Well it felt really good to do nothing but eat and drink virgin smoothies all weekend. Coming back here just make sme want to use.

GlassPrisoner

No rugs huh ? Were't te floors cold ?

Get aways are nice. I sure could use one.

Jersey Nonny

Hmmmmn...I guess if I were looking for an excuse to drink, I could find one...even in this nursing home with about 200 patients (about 3/4 of whom are senile, in dementia, or having alzheimer's). Every week, someone is either dying, close to it, or falling out of bed and being rushed to the hospital...sometimes they even come back here. Although I'm pretty much confined to a wheelchair, I'm one of the few with all their mental faculties intact.

Would you believe, when we play poker a couple of times a week, they actually have Dooley's non-alcoholic beer to drink!?! Ain't no such animal, of course...it's actually 5%. I could have a nice cold Dooley's (even though I never liked beer), and con myself into thinking I was still clean and sober...who would know? The most important person...ME! Nope...no excuse is a good enough excuse...not for this alcoholic.

I sincerely hope you'll come to believe that for yourself, too, bfree4u.

parentrecovers

have you given any time in finding a new place to live, bfree? that place just doesn't seem to working for you........

blessings, k

Aysha

Your living arrangements sound horrible.
Sounds like you had a great weekend.
I'm so glad you got some peace at least for a couple days.
Use that get away as fuel to get your butt out of there.
I feel for you.
If I was in your situation I would probably go to jail for knocking people out for getting loud in my face.
My big issue is rage too. Not a good combination with addiction.
I am working on that though.
So I have nothing but respect for you for handling yourself pretty well under the circumstances.
You know I'm thinking of you.
AND GET YOUR BUTT OUTTA THERE ASAP!

Anna

I continue to hope and pray that you can change your living arrangements. I think it would help you a lot in your journey to have a calm, peaceful home. However, there is always a 'reason' to drink and it's changing that mindset that will keep you sober.

ghostgirl

hey lady beth, like some wonderful women told me, you sometimes have to grab that nanosecond of bliss and cling to it for all its worth to get you through.

(((beth)))

gg

CarolD

Hugs Beth...
See if this has info for you to use

http://www.soberrecovery.com/links/s...vinghomes.html

Change4life

Im out of the excuse stage and said ... what is getting high gonna do. probably just escalate any arguing that might start up again over here.
My answer is to just stay out.

I went and got a 3 week temp job at the state fair and I am going use the extra cash to pay off my fines so I can finally start saving for my own place. Once the fair is over I am going to concentrate on getting a full time job. I just want to see how the fair goes cause my social anxiety when not drinking is better, but i m not sure it is that much better. Only one way to find out. My main goal is to find work so I can maintain my own apartment

I got a job in cow town LOL. My job will be teaching littke kids how to milk a cow, feed the goats, and sheep and basically shovel poop.

It might sound crazy, but I am actuallly looking forward to it. I love animals and living 15 mnutes friom ny city I dont see many cows or sheep. Plenty of horses at the track, but that s another story.

AcceptingChange

nice self-awareness bfree.
you said
"what is getting high gonna do".
exactly!!
it will increase the problems, like you said
"probably just escalate any arguing".

gettin high doesn't work anymore.
that's what sucks.

from a buddhist perspective, the fundamental law
of the universe is "Everything changes".
Even our old solutions.

i agree with you: it won't solve anything.
it will probably just create more problems.

Change4life

Im right with you on the buddhism I read as much as I can on it.
the main thing I embrace is that everything is temporary. so I try to hang in there things will change.

parentrecovers

what a fun job! congrats! k