Man I am having issues tonight
 

I am buzzed on my xanax..I am worried about this court ****...I want to just go get high.
I am so on the verge of going i CANT STAND IT.
i WILL HAVE 30 DAYS mON AND I would feel so freakin $hitty if I messed that up.
But good gracious. I need to get the f away from this freakin stress.
I cant take it.
I need someone to talk to me pleeeese!!!!

I dont even feel like trying right now..i just want to go.
But i am fighting the feeling but how long can i hold up. AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!
I just want to punch something.

HEY Cynthia - take a breath, hon.

I'm here. Such as it is. *g*

Hi honey, OK, breathe........

It is probably the Xanax and stress combined that has triggered these cravings. The Xanax has opened the door for the addictive voice to start screaming.. but don't give in.. do whatever you have to go to not go use tonight.

Using one substance as a substitute for another never works. It can catch up to you before you even know what hit you.

I got buzzed on painkillers one time and ended up going out and using cocaine. It impaired my ability to reason and think straight.

You can get through this horrible night. Stay here and talk to us. Whatever you do, STAY STRONG!!!

Yep..I agree with Hope 4...

Took Xanax for 20 years...

It is highly addictive and a gateway...numbs a little but

for me took away a lot of my ability to truly handle stuff..

And paved the way when I picked up booze..Wham Bang!!!

Using your DOC certainly will not make things better...

Please Chiy...we don't want to lose you..

We love you baby..

You can face the court ----!

Love,

IO

Yea i have calmed down some..Now i just feel drained and ready to pass out.
So off to bed i go. Who am i kidding i couldnt go if i wanted to..no money and my family still hold my truck keys.
Not that i couldt get them if i wanted. but its not worth the effort.
I am starting to fade into sleppy land now,
Holy crap i wa going a thousand miles an hour there for awile out of nohere,

I live sp far from the spot i couldnt get it anyway.
Funny my cell wont turn on and it has all the numbers it in. How cool is that
Things happen for a reason. Thank you giys ..I love you all. and i appreciate everything.
Off to bed i go..sry for actin like a freak.

*prayers*


(whew)

Whew!

Amen...sweet dreams Chiy...

Love ya.

IO

night C
D

I'm sorry you had such a bad night chi.How are you doing today?

Thinking of you,

Rosexox

I am doing way better. Just got back from a BBQ at my aunts and I am so full I cant stand it.
I dont know what happened last night.
Just came on out of nowhere.
Oh well..I guess it is to be ecpested.
But I made it with the help of posting here and another board that has live chat.
So I just put my booty to bed and was out like a baby in seconds.
Thank you all for your help.
I knew I loved you guys for a reason. ;)