nogard

hey beth glad your ok. Not easy writing this, not easy giving my honest opinion here as I got slam dunked last time.

Many of my friends did not make it back from a relapse one took a cocktail of Acid and other dugs and has been in an asylum for 20+ years and 14 others that I knew from my local area are dead. There are only two of us left me and one other who is banged up for a lot of years.

Point is in recovery I get to choose wether to get well (use the tools I have, the steps in particular) or wether to wait for my addiction to send me out there agian and chance never coming back. This disease of addiction is f'n sneaky powerful cunning and baffling. I hope you see what you did or did not do to stay clean and change your thoughts and actions accordingly. As we say; "nothing changes if nothing changes" (nb: expect we may well die or go mad forever).

Love Kevin

Surlyredhead

(((((Beth))))) You are so not a loser....you are just like me and I am not a loser, I am just a gal with a terrible disease. I have posted in the past that I am only here because people helped me....even when I didn't think I was worth helping. So I ask you this one favor...will you let me love you....until you can love yourself? Will you let us all help you...until you think you are worth helping?

I understand Beth....really, really really understand.

Cathy

ghostgirl

(((((((((((beth))))))))))))))))


hey there honey, this would seem just the place for you... please let someone you trust know what is going on

(((((((((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))))))


gg

IO Storm

Beth....

When I relapsed with alcohol after 8 years of sobriety..I called my son who was then

19 and living in another city..I had hurt him so much with my addictions and was

so afraid to tell him. I said "Son, I relapsed and am drunk...why did I do this?"

Bless is heart..he said "Mom..you are an alcoholic..that's what alcoholics do.."

Beth...you did not "lose" the sober time you had..and although it is "day 1" again..

You still have that recovery in you...every day..every word of encouragement

you received from us ..every suggestion you took and acted on it will always

be a part of you like seeds in a garden.

And remember...God NEVER gives up on us! Never.

Don't give up on you...we haven't.

Love,

:

IO

IO

Lollipop

(((((Beth)))))

You are NOT a loser.....most of us have been there and your right...it aint fun BUT...Your back, just keep typing to us and get through this....you can do this....your in my thoughts hun...stop the guilt, just learn and move forward....!!!!

~HUGS!~ Liss

cyberwolf

Hi Beth

Hope you post today. As others have said you are not a loser. You are suffering from a terrible disease. You have helped me so much. Thank you (losers dont care enough to help others!!!)

Hugs to you and Mr Puffers Beth!!!!!

((((((((( x))))))))))))

Come back soon

HereIGoAgain

Just don't EVER give up trying over and over again and eventually you'll accomplish what you want.

I should know I keep trying to get back to the sober person I was for 22 years and it's been 31 days as of midnight tonight.

**************************************{HUGS AND LOVE}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

EDIT: I keep thinking how great all of you are in your support of other people. You're great and no one here is a loser. Anyone that is trying to straighten up is not a loser but I've felt that way a lot in the last 2 years off and on so I understand completely.

Dee74

hi beth
no losers here, OK ?
LUV YA

D

teej

hey Beth....how ya doin today girl? Thinking of you!!

Alive

me too...we all love you..we are still people reaching out for a person...YOU ROCK Beth never forget that!

Change4life

Nogard I know what I did wrong I knew it when I was doing it. I just used my off the cgarts stress as an excuse. Even if I am in trouble what purpose did getting high accomplish. iT was stupid. Thats probably why I feel more guilty than usual.

Cathy I can use all the lve I can get, I think if I could just see what other people see in me I woul be Okay. i never thought I didnt love myself, but if I need to get high before I go out in public, i must have more insecurities than I think. Then there is always the issue of my loving to drink alone. Whats that all about?

Now that Ive sobered up the self pity bS has subsided and Im off the whole loser thing for now.

IO Storm

I started smoking when I started my drinking career at the age of 34...

When I got out of rehab my daughters could not accept I was
alcoholic AND had become a smoker..

The treatment center director told them firmly...

"By God girls..your Mom is lucky to be alive...let er' smoke!"

I would not encourage anyone to smoke...but if it means getting
through this slip and gaining time in quality sobriety..

I say "Let er' smoke!"

(Cigs..that is..)

Love,

IO

Change4life

know its just my luck I answered posted a somewhat lengthy reply and poof its gone. Second time in the past week.

I guess I will just summarizi kevin your right I knew what I was doing as I did it. Which makes it worse cause before I didnt put a though tinto consequences.

Im over the whole loser thing and working on a little self live here..

Surelhead, any love will be warmly welcomedYou

Dee74

good to see you back Beth !
huggity !

D

Lizrox

Are you ok..?

Change4life

I am OK I suppose. Just plugging a long. work isigiving me am problem. my boss is anal with no room for mistakes. Ive been there a year and made like 7 mistakes in that time, small ones at that and yesterday he mentioned cutting my hours. Just at a time when i need more. There is a fair in town for 3 weeks I went there yesterday to see if I can pick up some hours. I was offered one job working a game booth , but it pays 25% of what they take in the other one is feedin and watering the animals at the petting zoo. Im not sure which will end up paying more , but I am leaning towards the petting zoo, cause I love animals and I use to work at a vet so I have some experience. Also the petting zoo sells itself with the game I will have to solicit business and doont know if I feel like yelling for 3 weeeks.
Anyone have any opinions on this I could use some input. Spank the monkey game VS petting zoo?

stone

Spank the monkey?

The petting zoo sounds good!

littlefish

Well bfree4u, I'm only working on my day 8, so I am not expert, but, I am waiting for the urges to kick in one of these days and have me literally running to the liquor store. I fully expect it to happen.

It is only normal. Some of us, like me, have been addicted to alcohol for so long that I am sure my brain has been permanently rewired.

Try to think of it as a long haul, like a war. You are fighting a small war with your addiction. You can't let one lost battle make you give up. Lost of generals lose battles but win the war. After every lost battle, generals don't go into the staff room and say things like "I'm just no good!!": Instead they analyze what they did wrong.
What do you think triggered your relapse? Were you under a lot of stress, angry, or, maybe even very happy? Try to make a plan for the next time you feel a relapse coming on, ....like, um, go to the nearest ice cream shop and have a milk shake!

ghostgirl

beth, you sound so much better. i 'm so glad. i say go for the animals! yeah, i would!

xoxoxoxoxo

gg

Change4life

We All Rock!!!!!!!!!!!