parentrecovers

sometimes, i like to think i get it. i wake up everyday and pray. i am humble (most days). i am grateful. i feel lucky. my daughter is still alive. she survives addiction. i survive addiction. it's a heartless disease. but if i let my heart stay open and honest, i can find some serenity each day. and i understand - i only have today. the choices i make today impact how i accomplish today. i don't like addiction. i hate it. i don't judge those who suffer, but i do hate the disease.
but i don't get to decide who addiction harms today. that will never be my choice.

as the mother of a daughter in active addiction - i am affected. my recovery is just as imporant as hers.

i am powerless. and i deserve a good night's sleep.

blessings, stay in recovery - k

Astro

((((k))))

From the Big Book of AA-

And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.

Keep saying that serenity prayer;-)

gypsytears

K... you may be powerless over your daughter's addiction but you are so strong it's incredible. You do deserve a good night's sleep and I hope you get one tonight and every night. I do still have a yard full of weeds waiting here for you if need be .

Rowan

Very glad you are here with us, K. ((((hugs))))) you deserve great things - treat yourself well today and all days.

Nina Kay

k,
I am grateful to you for starting this thread and for everything that you said and for the others' responses. I really needed to read this today. I could have written your post word for word except it's my son instead of a daughter. You are so right that we are powerless over our children's addictions and their choices and we do deserve a good night's sleep. I really do hope that you get your restful night's sleep soon and often. We do need to continually remind ourselves that they are in our Loving God's Hands.
((((((((((((((((((Understanding Comfort Hugs)))))))))))))))))))))

Change4life

********{K}}}}}
I truly hope your daughter can find the strength to find sobriety and control of her addiction. I know how much pain I cause my mom because of my addiction and I hate it, but I still find myself powerless over my disease. All I can do is work on it daily.
You are always here for me and I hope I can be of some comfort to you someday.
You definetly deserve a good nights sleep not just tonight, but everynight. I hope you can find the peace and serenity you so deserve.

Hugs,
Beth

marle

k, This might not work for you, but it did for me. I let my daughter go and gave her to God. Was not easy and I spent many nights sleepless. Today I sleep fine knowing that I am powerless and that I must rely on faith to get me through. No contact until she gets into rehab is also a must for me. I don't do it for me only though. I also do it for my daughter. She will never find her way if I don't move aside. Hugs and prayers during this difficult time. Marle

Aysha

I'm sorry you have to feel those things.
But all you can do is love her and hope she will come around.
You remind me of how my grams must have felt when I did the same thing to her.
But in the mean time.
Treat yourself good. Sleep well.
I'm thinking of you.

Rusty Zipper

KK, you said it as it is...

you reminded me of all the restless days and nights i put da mamma through...

xxoo & blessings out to ya...

xxoo, rz

Dee74

(((((k))))))

D

Alive

you will sleep well K...just hold on a little more....i know....a mom doesn't give up...i know...you will be ok....there will be strength were you thought there wasn't..

stay strong

livefree

It is so hard to read about the pain that parents are going through because of addiction. I think of the hell I put my family through and I hate myself. My parents are one of my greatest blessings. I have a wonderful relationship with them today and I don't know what I would do without them. Addiction has taught us a lot and brought us closer together. Without the pain we went through, I don't think we'd have or be able to appreciate such a loving relationship.

cmc

((((k)))
Hugs from another mom of an addict. Sleep well, dear friend.

stone

Hi k, your strength and compassion are always inspiring to me. I hate addiction too, yes you are powerless and yes you deserve a good nights sleep.
((((k))))

teej

thinking of you K!!