i get accused whenever..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: MN
Posts: 65
i get accused whenever..
Jeepers! I am so tired of getting yelled at and belittled. I'm a 3.8 GPA grad with a very good job i had to resign from because of my desire not to return to managing the folks I was. my fiancé won't even bring me to my court hearing. jsut because he can't deal with it I guess. who knows why? he likes to be angry. he won't talk about it.... just says he will take me, and then gets angry the next day and says he won't. I'm worn out....
hurts my feelings.
should I expect my significant other to understand my addiction? even when i'm not drinking??
hurts my feelings.
should I expect my significant other to understand my addiction? even when i'm not drinking??
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,047
It would be nice if our SO's understood the disease, and in some cases they do but not always.
One thing I've learned: To keep my side of the street clean. Whatever anyone else says, thinks, or does is none of my business. Focus on yourself and your recovery, let the rest fall into place.
One thing I've learned: To keep my side of the street clean. Whatever anyone else says, thinks, or does is none of my business. Focus on yourself and your recovery, let the rest fall into place.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,492
It would be nice, but I don't think you should. It's your decision to recover and get better. He may not be at that place now, or ever. All you can do is take care of yourself. My family was really tired of me when I stopped drinking and they just wanted me to get better.
On a tear
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: Volcano Country!
Posts: 3,221
I am an adult child of alcoholics, a parent of, a sister of... and one myself.
And I still didn't understand.... not the way I do now, with three years of Alanon under my belt.
I agree with Anna - your recovery is your responsibility and your number one priority. Do what you need to do .... and maybe come on over to "our" (Alanon) tables after you've been in for a while.
You might find some commonalities that can benefit you.
(((Kasha))) I wish you well.
And I still didn't understand.... not the way I do now, with three years of Alanon under my belt.
I agree with Anna - your recovery is your responsibility and your number one priority. Do what you need to do .... and maybe come on over to "our" (Alanon) tables after you've been in for a while.
You might find some commonalities that can benefit you.(((Kasha))) I wish you well.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
I echo what has been said, Kasha; that if you keep the focus on you and on your recovery, things will fall into place. Not right away, and maybe not exactly the way we would like, but things do work out as they are meant to. A little PTA (patience, tolerance and acceptance) goes a long way sometimes. Hang in there and hope it goes well in court.
Rowan
Rowan
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Kasha..
I can relate..although my BF is in recovery..he stays angry MOST of the time lately.
I am doing all I can for my recovery..and I have tried PTA ...but it sure can wear
thin...it's like I never do anything to his liking. it is hard to feel good about
and your successes while living with that palpable resentment.
If it gets much worse I will remove myself
from the situation..if it means my sobriety and mental health.
Carol ID is correct..you deserve respect.
Love,
IO
I can relate..although my BF is in recovery..he stays angry MOST of the time lately.
I am doing all I can for my recovery..and I have tried PTA ...but it sure can wear
thin...it's like I never do anything to his liking. it is hard to feel good about
and your successes while living with that palpable resentment.
If it gets much worse I will remove myself
from the situation..if it means my sobriety and mental health.
Carol ID is correct..you deserve respect.
Love,
IO
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: MN
Posts: 65
Oh my goodness.... you you all are great. i will treasure your responses. i'm not so out to lunch as I was made to think... touché
thanks everyone. I've got my jammies scared off of me for tomorrow, but will deal w/whatever the outcome is! LOL
Just afraid it will be working w/4 months house arrest and I am afraid to be here w/ my finance alone that much. My attny thinks that is what will happen.
you'd think it would be great.... but it's very abusive here and i'm afraid of that...
thanks everyone. I've got my jammies scared off of me for tomorrow, but will deal w/whatever the outcome is! LOL
Just afraid it will be working w/4 months house arrest and I am afraid to be here w/ my finance alone that much. My attny thinks that is what will happen.
you'd think it would be great.... but it's very abusive here and i'm afraid of that...
Victory is mine!
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Emporia Kansas
Posts: 91
People that aren't like us can't understand us.
If it is abusive there then you need to find a way to remove one of you from that environment.
Take care of yourself and good luck tomorrow (today).
Scott
If it is abusive there then you need to find a way to remove one of you from that environment.
Take care of yourself and good luck tomorrow (today).
Scott
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 294
Hi, Kasha.
I'm thinking of you. I know how hard it can be to deal with new sobriety in a rather hostile environment. I was with my parents for the first couple of weeks after detox and ED treatment. It was not easy! I had to try very hard to remember that I'd put them through hell - though, I do not know what the dynamics were between you and your fiance. Regardless, in much less time than I'd expected, things turned around. I think I just needed to prove that I was serious about staying sober. Some things take time. Promises are hardly reassuring when they come from an alcoholic who has said innumerable times that she'll stop drinking - again, that is my case, not necessarily yours. He also may be worried about your court appearance tomorrow. Listen to the advice given above. (They know a LOT more than me!) Try to keep your space from your fiance. Recommend ALANON. Look on the bright side, if you get 4 months of house arrest, you can spend lots of time with us on SR! Best of luck tomorrow. You're in my prayers.
I'm thinking of you. I know how hard it can be to deal with new sobriety in a rather hostile environment. I was with my parents for the first couple of weeks after detox and ED treatment. It was not easy! I had to try very hard to remember that I'd put them through hell - though, I do not know what the dynamics were between you and your fiance. Regardless, in much less time than I'd expected, things turned around. I think I just needed to prove that I was serious about staying sober. Some things take time. Promises are hardly reassuring when they come from an alcoholic who has said innumerable times that she'll stop drinking - again, that is my case, not necessarily yours. He also may be worried about your court appearance tomorrow. Listen to the advice given above. (They know a LOT more than me!) Try to keep your space from your fiance. Recommend ALANON. Look on the bright side, if you get 4 months of house arrest, you can spend lots of time with us on SR! Best of luck tomorrow. You're in my prayers.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Obstacles can become opportunities...blessings in disquise.
Yeah..you CAN spend time here..maybe that is what you need.
And please keep posting and asking for that support you will always find here.
We care.
Love,
:
IO
Yeah..you CAN spend time here..maybe that is what you need.
And please keep posting and asking for that support you will always find here.
We care.
Love,
:IO
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