chicago

July 27 will mark the 5-year anniversary of my best friends death. He was 22 and passed away from drug overdose. there is a very long story behind it as it happened overseas and i was supposed to be there. i also am the one who turned him on to hard drugs years earlier. For 3+ years I numbed myself from the reality of his passing and never truely dealt with it. the first 8 months of sobriety i was in a recovery house and was too broken to start healing from it. the past 8+ months ive been on my own and several times a week ive cried my eyes out thinking of him. i am starting to heal but for me its taken nearly 5 years (nearly 1.5 of it in sobriety) for reality to set in. so many times since his passing ive thought 'if only he were here everything would be ok'...

the most fitting statement i can make about the death of a love one came from a memorial held in his honor dedicating a park to him two years after his death. "It is not how long we have with a person, but the depth of love we are fortunate to share."

AA is allowing me to celebrate life and praise God for allowing me the opportunity to have people come in my life...even if they leave before I want them to.

CarolD

I find Psalmns 23 a great comfort

(+) (+) (+) Hugs and Prayers

hopeOct31

Hi Chicago,
Thanks for sharing. I too have been struggling with grieving for the loss of someone since I have been sober. I just got back from a meeting where someone said something that has helped me, so I thought I would share in case it would help someone else.
The other AA was talking about the pain of grieving and wanting to escape that pain. But she was reminding herself to she needed to feel the pain and be grateful for it because her friend could no longer feel pain.
I had never even considered that. I have been focused on how I do not know what to do with these feelings and how do I "fix" the pain.
All my best, hopeoct31

IO Storm

I was "turned on" to alcohol by my friends at work wile grieving an abusive and

broken marriage...and turned on to drugs by my boyfriend right after. But I

cannot place any "blame" on those persons or any person...because even in

innocence I made the decision to "try it" ..defying my upbringing and conscience.

I am fully persuaded your friend would not wish you to suufer any more guilt...

Remember the love you and he shared for one another..it seems you already

have come to this belief..

And believe he is in a far better place..

Love and peace...

IO

indigo

It's very hard to come to terms with losing someone, thank you for sharing this with us all.

Alive

thank you...that is a beautiful way to remember your friend...He had my current age.....makes me think about a lot of things...take care!stay strong!

parentrecovers

you honor your friend with your recovery and service to others. blessings, k