Iwanttobe1

My best friend has cancer and I am sad. She will recieve some bad news tomorrow. Her disease doesn't take hostages. None survive.

I lost my other best friend last year, New Year's Eve, to be exact.

Seems as though the good friends I think I am making now turn out to be shallow and hurtful. I don't know why people lie. It's hard for me to trust anyone any more.

I feel lonely for my best friends because when they are gone, I don't know what I'll do.

I have numbers to call, and family, but I feel so alone.

This pain I am feeling is so much more intense during sobriety than it ever did while I was drinking. I almost have 3 months sober, but I am losing my strength and my hope.

I am in a very bad place tonight and I don't know where I'll end up. I am so afraid...

Carol

teej

what kind of cancer??? I survived it. And I will be your friend

best

Hello Carol

Sorry to read of such.
Life doesn't take hostages. None of us survive this life on earth.
It is sad when freinds leave or when they get sick because we love them and will miss them. What I find helps me when I feel such pain and sorrow as you may be feeling right now... I look up and ask for God to fill me with that special peace that is beyond understanding. The pain still remains but I get filled with so much peace that I can handle the pain.

Prayers for you and prayers for your friend.

Change4life

My very best friend in the world was diagnosed with melanoma about 5 years ago. Shes had a lot of moles removed removed and biosied and so far thank God they have all beemn malignant, but I am always on pins and needled waiting for the hatchet to fall so i know how you feel, and really feel for you.

You have 3 months sober and being a struggling alkie as well I know how hard it was.
Please dont give up your clean time.

You are not alone and if you ever feel the need please PM me anytime.

Here for you,
Beth

Anna

Hi Carol,

Yes, the pain is more intense when we aren't using alcohol. But, you can be there for your friend and give her the love and support that she will need. This is a gift of sobriety.

2stop

****************{Carol}}}}}}}}}}

CarolD

I totally agree with Anna...

Payers coming your way

Aysha

We are here for you

Dee74

You need to be strong for your friend Carol...getting drunk won't solve anything and won't help either of you. I don't much believe in coincidences...maybe you are clean and sober at this time to help others...

D

AJD04

Hugs to you Carol during this difficult time. We are all here for you and many prayers will be coming your way. Please don't give in. Stay strong and know that you have friends here on SR that will be here to listen in your time of need. (((((Hugs)))))

ghostgirl

hi there honey. i can't offer much, but i'm sending a hug and good thoughts your way.

((((((((((((((()))))))))))))))))

gg

Surlyredhead

Do cyber friends count?!?! If so, count me in!! I am here for you, you are not alone.

Cathy

livefree

Hi, Carol. I'm am very sorry to hear about your friends. I will be your friend. Try not to lose hope. Miracles happen. (We're sober, that's a miracle!) Know that your friend's cancer is not something you can control. We read the third step at my meeting tonight... it ends with the serenity prayer and "God's will (not mine) be done." I was in detox when my dad went into surgery for his cancer. It was very scary, but I took comfort in knowing that he was at least relieved of the burden of worrying about whether or not I was sober. Your friend knows you are sober and she needs you to stay sober to be her friend during this difficult time. I'll pray for you and your friend.

stone

(((Carol)))

Iwanttobe1

Thanks to all of my cyber friends.

The kind words and hugs feel good right now. My friend has ovarian cancer stage IV, very invasive. Though still on chemo, she has 3 new tumors on her colon. The treatment is much worse than the disease in all cancers.

I haven't thrown away my sobriety yet, but I wonder why life is so cruel. People live and people die, whether any one cares about them or not.

I don't know where I'll be tomorrow, but tonight I am sober.

Carol

Surlyredhead

I heard somewhere, a person who was angry with God for letting bad things happen to the ones they love. They were asking another person how they could possibly love a God who let bad things happen....their response was something like this.

"I could be walking along with my child and he could trip and fall. That doesn't mean I let it happen, but I can be there to help him up and let him know I love him. He said that God doesn't let these thing happen, but he is there to help comfort when things do go wrong."

I suppose it does seem that life is cruel right now, probably more to your friend than to you. But you can be there for her, and let her know that she is not alone in her fight. Sometimes, things don't work out in our lives like we expected them to. No one thinks they will be an Alcoholic/Addict any more than they think they will get Cancer.

You mentioned in your original post, that you feel lonely. Your friends aren't leaving you...they are going home, as long as you have them in your heart, they are still with you, like a Guardian Angel. You will do yourself and your friend no good if you use right now...besides, this friend is still here...enjoy every moment because it truly is a gift.

Hugs, Cathy

Rumi

I feel your pain, one good friend passed away 3 years ago, he had a heart attack due to diabetes. My ex-girlfriend while I was dating her got colon cancer stage 3, she had surgery and chemo, she is doing fine now after 6 years. Life is full of crap and joys, happiness and extreme sadness. One may ask what the f.?

Is there a purpose to all of this? I hope there is, but we all experience pain and we all ask why? It is ok to be confused. We have to focus on the good, it is very much about attitude... and not the bad stuff, otherwise we would all go insane. Perhaps the human species became too "intelligent" who knows?

IO Storm

Oh, that is so hard ...

You have a friend here...

May God grant you peace and healing for your friend acording to His will...

Love,



IO

scootinbabe

hey there. my best friend of 25 years is on hospice right now. she is the first of my peers to go. it is extremely painful and my grief is starting.

she survived hodgkins, breast and thyroid cancers. then, she had a stroke, now she's dying.

i don't know what to tell you except that i am here and understand a bit of what you are and will be going through...pm me anytime.

hugs,

thiskidknows

My neice was born with cancer they said she wouldn't survive as it was growing quite quickly, 2 days old she had an operation to try to remove the growth because of the place and her size they couldn't remove it all..they had to go via the palet in her mouth. She had several more operations as she got older, they said she was too weak for chemo, the cancer then stopped growing..but a year later, started growing again, she has lost the sight in one eye, has had 2 lots of chemo, has been in remission and then cancer returned....she's not 10years old and still fighting, the growth is still there, but hasn't grown in 6 months....people can survive cancer..against all odds she has survived...she's also survived se*ual ab*se from her grandad, and physical ab*se from her mother and her husband...and is now going thru courts for her dad to get full custody.

I can understand ur pain..and it does hurt more when ur not drinking....

sorry i've not helped you any...i just wanted to let u know that i do understand how ur feeling.

Thinking of u

lost xx