xXBacktoBlackXx

Sorry to post a miserable type thread. I don't have a sponsor yet (my first meeting is next week) so I am going to post here. This evening I have the huge urge to drink and do coke. Ugh, it's seriously just eating away at me, tearing through my skin. There's a lot of wine in the fridge and liquor in the next room as is in the basement. I had a pretty good evening, stayed in, watched some TV, talked with my mom. But all of the sudden, I get this punch in my gut, like I feel as if I need to be ****** up. It's horrible. I just felt so empty at that moment. Like I didn't have anything, that I was alone, and that I needed something to fill that void. I know I shouldn't do this. ****, I know this.

Crazy Carl

BtB.. dont despair.. get out of the house if you can, go for a walk, even tho its late.. do something to get away from their until the urge goes away and you can refocus your mind..

Rumi

Hey girl. You need to get yourself together! I do not subscribe to the "baby sitting" attitude that many present to one another to "support" each other in some circles. That I think is crap, If f.. up I need to be told that I f'd up, so do you. So please don't f. up and get a hold of yourself. Do anything but drink or use...Last Sunday I went and ran 5 miles.

You said something in your other thread that you're going to join an All women group, I think that will be a great move, do not get involved in a sexual "relationship" with another Alcoholic or even a "normal" person for that matter YOU are not in a position to be in a romantic relationship and you know it.

You need to stop looking for excuses to get to use or get drunk. Some may not like my approach but I think "supporting" you to be in the place that you find yourself most of the time will not help you in the long run. My intent is to help you to not be in the place that you are and feel "comfortable" to be in.

Get your butt moving towards a place that you would want to be and not the place you find yourself in right now. Excuse the bluntness.....

Dee74

BtB,
you *gotta stop* listening to that stupid voice...you know it's crap.

It wants you to get f'd up, so you can continue to feel bad about yourself and feel empty and sad and guilty...so you'll want to get f'd up again...and on and on and on.

c'mon, you know this !

D

Alive

Just an advice....having it in the house it's a huge temptation..maybe talking to your folks and saying it's very hard for you, would take away a bit of the cravings...i know you maybe don't want to..but it's really hard for you to have that kind of temptation that close, it can eat a person away....

please stay strong, you're so worth it.you have a whole life in front of you!why not start right away?

take care

Live

I shouldn't post...because I really do not understand.........but when I am scared of something I want to get rid of it ASAP.
It would take only a moment's courage to dump, flush, get rid of all the stuff.?"

BTW this is what AA would call a defect of mine....talking about stuff I really don't know about.

But I live in Florida and if there is a rattlesnake in the yard I am damned sure going to kill it.

indigo

Don't let it beat you, imagine yourself in charge and strong, because you are, I go for a run or a bike ride because it releases endorphins (sp) or treat yourself to a hot bath....do anything you can only don't pick up and things do get better. I wish you peace of mind from those demons called addiction who want to steal our lives,hopes and dreams.

indigo

Rusty Zipper

xX xX, if/when you get this feeling again, get on your computer, grab the mouse, & hunt down a thread i did some time ago... its called... "Hello Old Friend"... says it all... and if you cant find it... by the time your sick of looking for it.. the feelings should be gone...

xX, suggestion... ask the parental units if they would dump the booze!

good wishes...

xxoo, rz

cali

xX--I am sorry you are struggling-I like a lot of what was posted back to you-
especially liveweyerd:
this stuff kills us!
*somehow you've got to reach out and get support-because the old saying is (irritating at times but) SO TRUE-
"nothing changes if nothing changes"
be willing to go to any lengths-you can do it!

Kasha

Great advice everyone!!!!!! and thanks... 'cuz it's a great reminder for me, as well.

Chin up. B2B, and get out of the house.
My financé keeps leaving booze in the house and I won't tolerate it. If someone loves you unconditionally... they will hide it, get it out of your sight...drink somewhere else. Please talk to them. That added temptation is stress you shouldn't have to deal with. Just being sober alone is enough of a journey.... God Bless!

Kasha

B2B... Just wanted to mention, too, that I'm glad you posted... i have lots of days where I feel like you do... sending a (((((((hug)))))))... you will (already HAVE) made it through this craving by the time you read this. You're on your way to a spectacular new sober day! whoo hoo!
have a great one!

Pilgrim

Hey Back

Hang in there mate. Get a big bottle of soda and slam it down. The craving will pass. Getting a sponsor and going to meetings is a good idea. Why wait?

livefree

I'm just reading this post now, hours after you posted. Just wanted to check in and see how your night went. Hope you were able to take some of the advice offered in the posts above.

I really think you should talk to your parents... if they knew how you are trying to change, I'm sure they wouldn't want to put you in the position of having those temptations (alcoholic beverages) so accessible.

Also, I've heard it said that you should go to meetings on as many days of the week as you drank/used. For me, that's every day. I would really recommend that you get to a meeting earlier than next week. Even if it's not a women's meeting. (Of course, heed the advice offered above... no relationships.) You need as much support as you can get.

Thinking of you. Hope all is well.

ubiquity

hey xXBacktoBlackXx, you are never alone. There are also people all over the world thinking of you at this moment. I know the feeling.. to need to fill the void to make myself feel whole....try to relax and let the moment pass, if you want..quietly say a prayer.



jo

nogard

yeah why wait get to a meeting call members post here talk to your higher power, fight back, dont give up.

Kevin

stone

Hi B2B, I couldn't be in a house with alcohol in I don't think. I know the urge to get ****** up, I know how it hits in the gut. Just remember the pain getting ****** up has caused you. It will kill you if you carry on and before it does that it will make your life a misery and you will prolly go half-insane and paranoid.

I hate to be a meeting-pusher but please get yourself to a meeting!

die tryin

Try to keep yourself occupied..Write a Journal,go for a walk anything to keep those thoughts out of your head.They will make ya really anxious....I hope today is better..

Kasha

How are you doing today, B2B? Just checking up to make sure you are okay....

Dee74

yeah, come back and post BtB !
D

Pilgrim

B2B - are you with us? I'll check to see if you are elsewhere but it would be good if you could let us know if you are ok please.