Scared, first day
 

It is real clear that I need to quit drinking; it has been clear for years now. I found this site in September of 2004 (I know this only because the site tracked my first post) but never did stop. Here I am again. My husband gives me every benefit of the doubt, (to the point of thinking I am a diabetic because I swear up and down my drunkeness is not drunkeness), I hide my alcohol abuse and make secret trips to the store to replenish what I have drunk secretly, my 12 year old is furious (and harder to fool than anyone else) and my 6 year old is starting to catch on too.
Honesty is not my strong suite, obviously, but the anonymity of this site seems like it will help. I am ready, and also scared- have been reading posts and boy it all sounds so familiar.
Had a beer first thing this morning; I sure wish I could just taper off... I have a strong feeling that this is not news to those of you who are in recovery.
Ackkk, I hate this - it seems so weak and stupid to ask for help from strangers on the web, but I am going to anyhow. Help.

It's not weak and stupid--we need eachother!
And who to better understand you than those that have been there!
I am so glad you are here!!! :)

Hi..Glad you are here.
Just like this site tracked your first post for so long the people here are just as faithful in support and info.
I know its hard to open up to strangers.That was my biggest problem.
I felt such shame and embarrassment.
Thoguth why am I telling these people that have no idea who I am.
I can tell you it will give a perspective outside the box without the judgement of those who know you best.
Kinda breaks down the barriers.
I hope you keep posting.
More will be along to give more advice than I can.

Welcome Roandlan,

So glad you are here!

~~~~~~

A smile is a curve that sets everthing straight :)

Weak and stupid and my best thinking had me drinking for 27 years, that's what got me into recovery. This is a "we" program. I tried doing it by myself and found that the only way it works is when I reached out to others for help.

You're scared? I'm a single father with two beautiful children, sobriety has given me the ability to be the parent they deserve to have, but before I was given that gift I gave away my marriage, a home, and countless relationships. The only thing that took away my fears was AA and the faith in a higher power. I understand your fear, if you're really ready you'll be honest with yourself and reach out for the help that's freely available to anyone who desires it.

Glad you're here, and I hope you stick around.

Welcome, and well done for admitting there is a problem

I wish you well

pete

welcome roandlan, i hope you find the answers and support you are looking for here. keep posting, nothin' stupid about it! blessings, k

Welcome Aboard Roandlan,
 

I second what eveyone has posted so far. We are all in this boat together, we know your pain, I would not wish that kind of pain on my worst enemy.....We are here to help, the hardest thing I had to do was ASK FOR HELP....I'm glad I did... The second hardest thing was LISTENING, REAL LISTENING .....I'm still working on this but enough is sinking through....Just remember you are so worth it !!!!!! Keep posting .......NED

Welcome to Sober Recovery. You're in good company here! Please keep posting.

well done
 

You are making the first steps to admitting whats really happening!
Its even harder when you have tried before and need to try again
I need help too
strangers can be seen as people who are not directly involved but in the same situation as you
I want to be able to talk when I feel like I cant go on
nearly two weeks sober now I never thought I had a problem but it was only when I thought about stopping and then made excuses (like i need to celebrate) that i released I was not in control Drink was controlling me!!
What are you giving up?
Feeling ashamed?
hungover?
Fear and failure

Choose life
good luck
xxx

Well DONE on your sober time, Temperance.

It isn't weak and stupid to reach out-it takes courage!I'm so glad you did.Welcome!You will find so much support here.I'm glad you joined us,

Rosexox

Welcome roandlan!!! I am glad you are here, no need to feel "weak and stupid" (I know, that is easy for me to say) We were all where you are now, at the beginning, it is a great place to start. Also, you are not asking "strangers" for help, we in recovery are a family, if you are on day one or an "old timer" we are all in the same place...today! I look forward to your posts...

Cathy

Welcome roandlan!

Welcome - I am fairly new here myself, but I've figured out an amzaing thing (for me), when I don't drink, I can still do everything I did before - better. And then I fgured out that I can actually do more - no time wasted on hangovers. No time wasted on incoherence. No money wasted on booze. No more dangerous situations.

It's a pretty good deal and I hope you get in on it too!!

Peace and love and we're here for you

Gadd

good luck and we are not weak or stupid, this is a disease and a hard one to beat- I have coming on this website off and and on for a couple of years and had relapses. But today I am going to start over, I have 3 beers left after that I am going back to taking my campral which I have taken before and was very helpful with withdrawals and cravings. Anyone interested might check into it with their doctor.