Luckyv2

Tonight we moved our NA Group to another location, we decided about 3 days ago that we couldn't keep affording the place that we were at. We found another place to meet and we will be meeting 3 nights a week which is great. The problem that I am having is when we were loading things into the vehicles to move, the owner of the building was leaving. She asked, "What is going on?" I told her that we decided a couple days ago that we couldn't afford to stay there and that we found a new place that was a lot cheaper. She said that she was upset because we didn't let her know. Actually we were on a month to month basis as far as I know and there wasn't any contract signed or anything, but I just didn't even think about going down and telling them that we were leaving, well because it has been rather busy looking for anew place and in all reality it just didn't cross my mind.

She isn't happy at all and said that she expected more out of us than to leave like that. I will be OK but I sure feel bad

With Love and Respect

Vic

Anna

Well, Vic, since you were on a month-to-month basis, you were not obliged to do anymore. She was probably just disappointed in losing the revenue and taking it out on you.

Don't let it get you down. I'm glad you have found a new place for your meetings. Just focus on that and move forward.

Rowan

I understand completely, Vic. I can see how you didn't think to tell her - can your group afford to pay her for next month anyway, just so she isn't missing a month's rent without notice?
Don't feel too badly - it was an honest oversight.

Luckyv2

Well I mentioned that I would pay her the next months rent and she said that she isn't that way. Well I guess that meant no. I know that she and her husband have really been having a hard time for awhile and the place is a building that is probably around 70 years old and isn't in the best of shape. I just think that she was having another bad day but I do feel like we need to do something. I know that we don't have the money for rent but I guess that I could make some way of paying her the $150.00 out of my pocket, just don't know how yet.

I really don't feel obligated but I just didn't like the guilt trip that she put on me when we were downstairs.

IO Storm

Chance...

I hope I am right...

You know you don't have to own any guilt.

One time when I was hurting real bad sitting in my HG...

I confided in a Christian couple I trusted after the meeting that I had done

something that another person thought was terrible.

They both shocked me when they said.."Sc--- guilt! It'll kill ya."

Point taken.

I believe that saved me from a relapse.

Luv ya Vic.

IO

hope3

Hi Vic, no one can make you feel guilty without

your permission.....You apoligized, maybe next time something

like this comes up you will do it differently, but I don't think you should

allow yourself to feel bad any longer than you have....MHO..

(((((((((((Vic)))))))))))) hope3

GlassPrisoner

Sorry to hear that.

Then again, the right thing to do would have been to give them ample notice. In recovery we're supposed to think of others instead of ourselves. Chalk it up to experience and remember the next time something like that arises.

IO Storm

Talk to the group..take a group conscience and see if they wish to contribute to

at least paying something..should not be your burden alone.

Love

Sher

miss communicat

the thing about being on month-to-month agreement is that either party can freely change the agreement to continue, as long as one month's notice is given.

usually, that means one month's rent is paid along with the notice, so, it would've been reasonable of her to expect that you guys would tell her your intention of leaving on May 1st, when you paid the rent.

if it would feel right to you, in the way of an amends, perhaps your group can pay the rent on June 1st, tell her your group will no longer be renting the space after July 1st, and consider this the 30 days' notice?

If it were me, that is what would feel right to do......

jmo

Rusty Zipper

vic, just a thought from experiance... if the group will contribute to the rent.. thats great.. if not... add up the number of group members... see what your part of the contribution will be, and just mail it to the landlord... being acountable for your part, no more, no less... keeps a future resentment away...

xxoo, rz

IO Storm

Ditto..

laurie6781

I'm with Rusty on this one Vic. And you do know that when you are on a month to month you are still required, I believe in all fifty states to give a 30 day notice.

Rusty's idea is the best, it was apparently a group decision to move to a new place, so the "group" is legally liable for that month's rent (the 30 day notice).

J M H O

Love and hugs,

Live

What does your contract say?

We rented a storage unit month to month, there was no notice needed and when we cancelled, we did the right thing and cleaned the place up (the owner said almost no one does that!)

In any case, this doesn't sound like an intentional but rather an accident...that you weren't aware of her expectations. And SHE said she didn't expect an additional month's rent. So why not take her at her word?

She probably is worried about being able to rent it again. So, if you do discover that your contract does not require the $$$ anything you all do in that direction is a gift.

You know you are a good person and did not try or intend to stiff anyone. Feel good about yourself! Mistakes, if even it is just not thinking to inform them, are lessons.

In the future you will know and you won't be in this situation again. Cool, eh?

Chin up, friend, so we can see you smile!

indigo

Yes Chance don't let it grind you down and do look at the small print in the contract, we often miss things like that. Wish you all the best.

indie

Luckyv2

Good Morning and thank you all for your replies.....

I guess there is more to this than what it started out to be but that isn't here or there.

I have decided that I am going to bring this up at the business meeting tonight and let them know that all the actions of the group the past week wasn't up to par and that some of them need to not think that they make the decisions for the group.

I am going to let them know that I feel this behavior isn't right and that I think that we need to go ahead and pay them the rent even if we have moved and to let them know that we should have given a notice. Even at work they ask that you give at least a two week notice, so I think this is the proper action. I have also decided that even if the group doesn't want to acknowledge this then I will cover half of the $150.00 and pay that so I feel that my part has been taken care of. I still need to run all of this by my sponsor then I will keep it with a update.

Thanks again for all of your replies they are very helpful


With Love and Respect

Vic

BigSis

I like that you are running this by your sponsor, and I appreciate your concern for your landlord, too. Generally, when HP is involved in a situation, there are lessons learned ALLLL the way around... this one feels much like that, Vic. You, the group, the landlord - all learning about how to do things differently.

Thank you for posting this - it helps me see similarities in my group, too, and how we operate. (We had a business meeting last night - and if anything makes me want to go back to drinking it is sitting in an Alanon business meeting futzing for AN HOUR over the exact three words to adjust in the suggested opening... sigh.)

I see excellent recovery in these posts, Vic... keep up the good work!

((hugs))

miss communicat

That feels right, you taking your thoughts to your sponsor and your willingness to be accountable for your role in this transaction,

you are a real inspiration and your recovery is beautiful!

parentrecovers

what a good person you are! k

SaTiT

yeah..Vic talk to your sponsor

Luckyv2

I talked to my sponsor today and he said that we as a group made every attempt to try and get the rent lowered for months now because it was so hard to be self supporting and actually it wasn't. He also said that because we did try to let them know that we couldn't afford that much that it was considered retroactive. I had to ask what that meant and he said that since we moved out by the end of the month that our notice went back to the first of the month sounds really confusing on my end.

I am going to bring it up for vote at tonights business meeting and to also let them know that I wouldn't have contributed around $80.00 for the month in the beginning of May if I would have known that we were not going to pay the rent there. Our new rent is $48.00 a month for three meetings a week so I am going to let them know that if as the group they don't see that we should pay the old landlord some money than I am going to consider my payment last month as payment for the next 4 months to pay them back my part. I am not going nor do I feel that the members are at all self supporting and one thing that I have been taught in NA is that we have to learn to be responsible and not only that but we need to accept the fact that we can not live on justifications.

In the NA Basic Text it says that we do the right thing for the right reason. Well the right thing to do is to make some sort of effort to keep the air cleared. We don't want to come up with a bad name and this sure could cause some heartache I feel if not handled with proper principles. Anyways I will let you all know how the group votes on this. God be with us all

With Love and respect

Vic