Struggling
everything is already ok
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Struggling
Don't want to pick up and go back there but I know that the couple of days I have been heading that way.
Hard to face what I did and what I was. Can't stop beating myself up.
Please send me some prayers.
Kevin
Hard to face what I did and what I was. Can't stop beating myself up.
Please send me some prayers.
Kevin
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Boy we really need a cleansing of the vibes around here lately.
Seems like noone is safe.
Very strange to me.
But we do have each other.
And we can make it together.
You are always full of wisdom and have played a big part in my keeping a clear head.
So I most definately got your back.
Many prayers and thoughts with you Kevin.
Dont give up. Because of all people ...I'm not going to either.
Seems like noone is safe.
Very strange to me.
But we do have each other.
And we can make it together.
You are always full of wisdom and have played a big part in my keeping a clear head.
So I most definately got your back.
Many prayers and thoughts with you Kevin.
Dont give up. Because of all people ...I'm not going to either.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
My dearest friend...
You have learned as I have that you must accept whatever it was that happened..
And ask for guidance..and turn it over..
You will be shown the answers and the path to follow...
And leave the outcome to Another..by whatever name you call your Higher Power.
You have help in the time of trouble.
And I love you...
It would hurt me to catch up on your two plus years of recovery..
Praying now for for your peace of mind, comfort, guidance, and direction.
And don't you dare turn that anger or hurt or guilt inward...
Let it go...I'm pulling for ya bro'.
Love,
IO
You have learned as I have that you must accept whatever it was that happened..
And ask for guidance..and turn it over..
You will be shown the answers and the path to follow...
And leave the outcome to Another..by whatever name you call your Higher Power.
You have help in the time of trouble.
And I love you...
It would hurt me to catch up on your two plus years of recovery..
Praying now for for your peace of mind, comfort, guidance, and direction.
And don't you dare turn that anger or hurt or guilt inward...
Let it go...I'm pulling for ya bro'.
Love,
IO
trying to mend
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Where the Wild Things Are
Posts: 105
prayers for you kevin and ((((())))) too.
what kind of person would you be if you didn't care what kind of person you used to be? that is what helps you to be a better person today.
what kind of person would you be if you didn't care what kind of person you used to be? that is what helps you to be a better person today.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,502
Kevin,
Lots of prayers and loads of hugs for you.
Those things and that person were part of you, but they're in the past Kevin. Look at yourself now and you see a very funny, hard-working, responsible person, someone who devotes a lot of time to helping his fellow addicts and sharing a smile. Those are some of the good things I see, Kevin.
Lots of prayers and loads of hugs for you.
Those things and that person were part of you, but they're in the past Kevin. Look at yourself now and you see a very funny, hard-working, responsible person, someone who devotes a lot of time to helping his fellow addicts and sharing a smile. Those are some of the good things I see, Kevin.
everything is already ok
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
lol Carol I just did a 4th and 5th but yep more has come up, I will do evrything and anything, just want to get of my own case. I thought I had it, my sponsor says it was a glimpse of what is to come and that there is more to do and that I need not use over it.
I understand all of this but its a shock to see how imbedded the hate and the self loathing is. Beating myself up is such a pattern that its become as much a part of me as breathing.
sorry to negrave. Thanks. Going for a walk.
Kevin
PS I guess this means I still qualify
I understand all of this but its a shock to see how imbedded the hate and the self loathing is. Beating myself up is such a pattern that its become as much a part of me as breathing.
sorry to negrave. Thanks. Going for a walk.
Kevin
PS I guess this means I still qualify
Member
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: North Vancouver, British Columbia
Posts: 1,714
((((((Kevin)))))) Sending prayers your way. You're going through a growing phase and there's some pain that goes with that. It's not fun to go through, but you'll reap the benefits as long as you stay the course. You can do this, Kevin - have faith in yourself. 
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,435
(((nogard)))
may we never stop learning and growing my friend, even if the process is sometimes a little painful, the rewards are worth it...I believe that
sending prayers your way....
in fact - I think someone's putting something in the ether....prayers for everyone...
D
may we never stop learning and growing my friend, even if the process is sometimes a little painful, the rewards are worth it...I believe that
sending prayers your way....
in fact - I think someone's putting something in the ether....prayers for everyone...
D
get it, give it, grow in it
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Calif coast
Posts: 3,167
Take a little time of gratitude for the things you are doing well today. Do something nice for someone else, because that always feels good. Today you know better so you'll do better. Progress not perfection. All the best comin' your way!
X IV
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 6,365
((((((((((((((((((Kevin))))))))))))))))))))))))
Your post made me think of the saying, "More shall be revieled.."
I am not going to make a suggestion because I know you know what to do so just keep doing it and remember gratitude. You GET to experience this and grow from it and that is a GIFT most never experience. You are one of the lucky ones my friend.
ttfn
gtg
Bad
Your post made me think of the saying, "More shall be revieled.."
I am not going to make a suggestion because I know you know what to do so just keep doing it and remember gratitude. You GET to experience this and grow from it and that is a GIFT most never experience. You are one of the lucky ones my friend.
ttfn
gtg
Bad
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