GlassPrisoner

Yeah, I was never one to be comfortable in a room full of strangers, especially while freshly de-toxed (or still de-toxing).

And you really start to look forward to it. This........interacting with.....people .....thing. Laughing, talking, caring. I dunno what to call it. But I like it, a lot.

SaTiT

A bunch of wierd people trying to stay sober..sounds pretty damn wierd to me.
Whats' really wierd is I understand the wierd people..
Me ??...sober ???...that's an all time wierd.

Lollipop

(((((Stone))))))


WTG! Glad the meetings are going well!!!! I am out the door to go to work but just wanted to do a daily check in and see how you are!!!! Will hollar later! Have a wonderful easy day!!!!!

~HUGS!~ Liss

stone

GP, spot on mate I forget sometimes I am still withdrawing and '.......interacting with.....people .....thing.' lol also spot on.

SaTiT, I understand the weird people too, I am one of the weird people.

Hi (((Liss))) I am doing ok thanks, need more sleep lol.

ghostgirl

if you say this is your bottom, then this is your bottom. i'm a high bottom, i guess. i had spent some time questioning if i was alcoholic, because i still had a roof over my head, full custody of my kid, food, bills paid, went to work, got the kid to school, etc.

but i didn't have any friends... my relationships have all been shot to hell... i barely speak to my family...

so you see, i got tired of being lonely and loony. so i had to finally admit i hit MY bottom, its mine to own, and i am POWERLESS over alcohol, people places and things.

all of my life i felt i never fit in... maybe sometimes i even wore that as a big shiney badge... "i'm unique..." blah blah blah... well today, i want to fit in, and the only place, believe it or not, is a.a. there are so many different types, and i'm glad to be one among many different types, with folks who understand what a nutty, angry, fearful, insecure, sad person i am.


i may not have "gutter" stories, (plenty of nights praying to the porcelien god, though ), but i know that i'm tired of being lonely, sick, and tired.

o.k. this is way more than my two cents!!

but i'm so glad that you've got that time in. its HARD!!

keep going to those meetings...

(((()))

gg

stone

Thanks gg Yup!

You are allowed as many cents as you like btw!

barb dwyer

wooHOO ****{stone}}}

glad so glad to read this!!!

stone

Thanks Barb!

I didnt go to a meeting last night as I was having panic attacks and anxiety like I never have had before. Paranoia too, it was all made worse by insomnia, so I went to bed early and had 16 hours of sleep!! Yay!! lol.
Feel a tad foggy now but so much better, fired up for my meeting tonite now!

Tyler, did you try another meeting last night mate?

tyler

Well, I had a councilors appt. yesterday and lately I have'nt felt very good after them. So I wasn't in a very good frame of mind. I made myself go, made it to the parking lot, had an anxiety attack, similar to what I used to have cold calling in sales, and turned around and went home. On the positive side, even though I was thinking about just skipping the meeting and going to the city to score some pot, it didnt' do that. I also didn't drink. I went home, and rode my bike about five miles, posted here and went to bed early. Sounds like we had kinda similar days!! Take care.

stone

Lol yes!

We didnt use tho! So it was a good day!

gypsytears

Stone good for getting the rest you need. No excuse to skip the meeting tonight now eh ?

Good job on getting through those urges Tyler.

stone

Hi babes! Yes I am going tonite, still dead shakey today but less anxious and panicky and paranoid and...etc. I really WANT to go to the meeting! lol!

stone

Just a little update. 4 am here but I am not bothered as I had plenty of sleep yesterday so I can cope with a bit of insomnia. I feel better than usual for this stage of things.
I went to the meeting last night, loads of people there in a fairly small room which freaks me out still. Going to another one tonight, sunday I will go if I feel the need.

gypsytears

So... where's tonight's update??? Hope you're feeling less shakey .

stone

Update just for you gypsy! I am ok thanks, recovering faster than usual, it must be the AA magic lol! Skipped the meeting tonite so I will go tomorrow.

stone

Another update, I was very uptight last night almost manic and anxious, some paranoia. Got to sleep at about 6am with my brain a mixture of manic, depressed, lonely and sort of in shock. I was walking really slowly and painfully like I just heard the worst news ever lol.
Had some sleep but still feel the same really. Absolutely bleak feeling, this is the first time I have even craved a drink-I wont though. I phoned some AA guys but no-one is home, I only have 3 numbers so far. Finding it very hard today.

tyler

Hang in there stone. Always gonna be good days and bad, especially at the beginning. You've got a good attitude though. Take care.

Lollipop

(((((((((Stone)))))))))

Stand strong my friend, you are doing AWESOME!!!!! Keep dialing those numbers!!!! Keep posting, do whatever it takes!!!! You can do it!!!!!!



Love Liss

stone

Thanks Tyler and Liss, I feel even worse now lol. I just want to curl in a ball and die. That isnt really an option though is it? I am FORCING myself to a meeting. Leaving in about 40 mins, at least it gives me something to focus on.

GlassPrisoner

Stone, I find that the more I don't want to go to a meeting, the more I enjoy it and the more I get out of it when I do go. Go figure.

The anxiety will eventually lessen or go away. As far as crowds ?

That's one of the 12 9th step promises. There's more where that came from.