rabye

I think I am, I think I am ok and still living off the high of my one month of sobriety, now I relapsed and still think I am ok and can just do it again.

But it is proving impossible, the meetings are harder to get too, the dealer seems easier to call, and I keep thinking I can do this. Tomorrow i will do it I keep saying, but I just can't.

Are u feeling the same way???????????

Alive

I am making sure i am not feeling the same way. I'll do what i always do. I'll get up really early and make great changes in my life, define new priorities and pray a lot. Make plans how you will do it this time.I have learned one thing, i have to believe this is forever, that's the way i do it, it's personal...there can't be a turning back or i'll never stop relapsing...

stay strong

and saying tomorrow i'll do it doesn't really work....it has to be now!

best

Nope

I reach a point that I fully realized.... I have no control over my addictions and found that when I look beyond myself to God was my only solution.

Powerless over... When I gave up, I gained.

rabye

lying and lying is that all we addicts do?????

Surlyredhead

I felt that way a lot before I finally got sober this last time. Except after a few "I will start tomorrow" trys, I gave up and went back out for a few years...it almost killed me, but that is what it took for me. I hope you are stronger than I was, I put myself through hell twice before it finally sunk in...either quit or die.

Good luck, cathy

GlassPrisoner

Yup, my last de-tox almost killed me. Either way, I was going to stop.

SaTiT

this is the easier softer way...

man...chasing damn dealers down every freaken night becuase i thought i
bought enough to last. Then i gotta haustle and bustle with the damn dealers
selling cut up crap half of the damn time. And what the hell kind if high is that ?
just me driving back and forth all over the damn county just to get a fix,
by the time i got home I need to go get more...F---that shiet..
The was hard and took a lot of damn work !
Then i gotta try to put on a straight face to go to work...f-that.
I wasn't getting high...I just use so i can feel normal becuase normal wasn't
normal anymore and i just try to get to the wasn't normal any more state.
The hell with that...

play the damn tape til the end.

seriousley i'm too damn lazy to go out and go on a run. lmao
reading, wrinting and hanging out with a bunch of crazy people is eaier.lol

rabye

sattit - u got it .

complaints against drug taking -

1. sick of not sleeping
2. tired of being wired and messed up on my own
3 . look like ****
4. no money and looking for money
5. having to pretend to be ok the next morning and looking so bad u cannot hide it.
6. eating like a pig to make up what u did not eat.
7. talking **** and calling up people to talk about ****
8. feeling terribly lonely
9. wanting sex with anyone and anything
10. having no control and realising it the next day.

u r right **** that, and lets get sober.!!!!!!!!!!!!!