cyberwolf

Hi,
Struggling here. Don't know why. I have just hit a brick wall! 15 days and I feel cra*.

Really really low, no motivation,no enthusiasim, in fact no nothing. Have fleeted in and out of SR tonight but havn't got anything constructive to say to anyone. Its like I am so used to abusing my body and being an ar*e that when I am not I can't cope.

I am not anxious (which has been a huge prob for me) I am just down right p*ssed off and tired and fed up and lacklustre.

Sorry to be so da*n negative but I can't pull myself out of it I have been like this most of the day.

Sorry to waste a post.

Just had to share with some folk who might understand

xXBacktoBlackXx

Cyberwolf, those brick walls are so tough. I just wanted you to know that I understand what you're saying. Not that long ago, I was beyond livid about everything going on in my life. Mostly, I was pissed at myself. It was horrible. I just felt this seething rage!! I hate to admit this, but I punched my walls, I was so pissed. I do have a bit of a temper. It didn't make a dent in the walls, only in my hand. Ouch.

Don't worry about being negative; I think we've all been there. It's impossible to constantly be positive. Today, I also feel very low but I'm trying to convince myself that I have a future. When I start to really believe that, it's enough to keep me going. This disease is a killer. Here's to not being a casuality of it.

I wish you the best!

Toomutch

C W,

I can totally relate to what you are going through. A lot of what you said is true for me as well.

I am sending hugs your way!!!!!
Hang in there, 15 days sober is great.
~~~~~~~
Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.

cyberwolf

Thanks guys, means a lot

I feel like crying (but for the first in a long time PROPER tears, not drunken or angry tears, just tears of ...i don't know... frustration ? maybe? the kind that will never stop if I start)

Gee this is hard. What a horrible disease.

Thank you again

cyberwolf

or maybe tears of regret? But why focus on the past when the future is mine for the making. What an negative person I am today. Just sad Sorry to share such bad stuff......hope u are ok.

Alive

Exactly focus on the future. I have recently learned what you focus on expands! Think positive, it is very hard but i am really trying and it is working!The fact you realized that about the past it's very good,such a start!And the future is so yours!

NYCGirl

A post is never a waste, they are what helps us get over that brick wall. I not sure of your DOC, but when I quyit drinking all I wanted to was sleep. mnay say they can't sleep I can aaaalways sleep. I got almost 11 months clean and I still hit brick walls. Matter a fact just got over one last week.

Reading stuuf about what I am going through helps...

Hang in there and keep posting

Astro

Two years into sobriety I still hit those walls now and again. Cry away and release the hurt if you can, it really does help. And always remember, this too shall pass. Nobody every told me sobriety was easy, but it's worth every ounce of pain to live life clean & sober.

cyberwolf

Thank you. Its 00.50 here andI am gonnahead to bed. Tears in eyes as I type I might just have a good old howl (like the wolf!!)

Thank you for reading my post and thank you for replying.

Goodnight and take care

Toomutch

I hope you rested well CW.
~~~~~~~~~

Don't walk in front of me, I may not follow. Don't walk behind me, I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.

Surlyredhead

((((((wolfie)))))

I think you sould cry until you can't get another tear out....let it all out. Then rest (you WILL be tired), things will look better tomorrow. Until they do, I am here and I understand.

Cathy

Change4life

******{cyberwolf}}}}

How are you feeling today? Hopefully you are feeling better, but if not I agree with surly. Sometimes it is just better to cry until you cant anymore. It usually helps to make you feel better. Just wanted you to know I was thinking of you, and if you feel the need PM me anytime.

Beth

cyberwolf

Thanks guys.

I have had a good couple of days but who knows what tomorrow will be like!""
Thank you for the good ishes andt the offers to chat I might just do that when things get hard.

I am going to head to bed soon

But really hope everything ok with you

Stay strong -
hugs

xXBacktoBlackXx

Cyberwolf, I hope you're feeling better today. =)

IO Storm

Cyber Cyber Cyber.....

Biploar Bear here....

Currently in a downswing....I have tears now too...

Don't know why...but it will get better.

I think the scary part is when we do go down... it seems as if it has always been

that way..and always will.

What works for me is turning it all over (again)...and share here..

(especially the funny threads)

Or read a story about someone that is far worse off than I am that moment...and

reach out a compassionate hand of help.

And I say to myself as i do to them...

"This too shall pass".

Love,

IO

Dee74

just a quick hemi-demi-semi-hijack here !

IO and Cwolf

Looks like I hafta remind you both



<------- me

love ya !!
D

GlassPrisoner

You're still in early sobriety CW, really early. Expect anything. Your emotions, energy level and your physical state are gonna be all over the place. Up and down like a roller coaster ride from hell. Don't trust anything your brain tells you right now. If you have a sponsor, run EVERYTHING past him or her.

It was maybe 30-45 days until I stabilized, relatively.