xXBacktoBlackXx

Why do we experience such anxiety when we first become sober?? I was almost sober for a month, but around 2 days ago I snorted a drug. Now, I'm back to feeling extreme anxiety. I wrote posts here when I first became sober about how I sent my computer in to computer forensics because I was paranoid about what I might have written to people when drunk. I did that because of the severe anxiety I was feeling. Well, when I snorted the ritalin pills, all of these feelings came back. And the comedown off of that is absolute hell. I sat in my bed, trying to sleep when I couldn't and thought about how dying was better than this. I only got one hour of sleep that morning and all day, I couldn't stop thinking about the same thoughts I had after I had drank almost a month ago. What if I had done this and what if I had done that. I literally feel sick and my heartbeats every second. I don't know why the **** I continue to feel like this. It makes me so paranoid. What's with the anxiety??? I almost want to shut down all the things I use to communicate to people with so I never have to worry about that. I hate this feeling.

Alive

in the first few days there is a rush i guess the system wants to go back to that state where the whole body has no energy left because the addiction took over. Yes i too have that awful anxiety but i learned it doesn't do any good to dwell on it, i have fought it as i can and i will keep doing so. It gets worse with the number of relapses, i think...so stay strong and remember it is not real, it is the disease talking....like a negative force battling the good.....With time it will get all right. Have you been doing sports?yoga? something that dissipates the anxiety?To me a good run brings me back to reality!

enjoy life! because life is waiting for us!