New to this and feeling lost.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 2
New to this and feeling lost.
I've been reading these forums all week. I'm not really sure what I want to say or why I am even posting, I think I just need to get it out and I don't really want to talk to my family about it.
I've been a drinker since the age of 18, occassionally before that. I like to drink, I like the feeling, but I hate the guilt. I hate having to pretend remembering things. I'm almost 31 and the doctor has recently told me I have liver damage (surprise, surprise) Drinking was my coping mechanism, a hard day, the kids being difficult, motivation ( I can clean house so quick and easily with some rocking music and a glass of wine in hand.)
It's been 8 days without a drink and it isn't getting easier, in fact it feels like it gets harder every day, today I'm feeling depressed and very teary. I try to be (act) really strong and like I'm coping well, but when I'm alone alcohol is all I can think about. I just feel like I don't know who I am.
I've been a drinker since the age of 18, occassionally before that. I like to drink, I like the feeling, but I hate the guilt. I hate having to pretend remembering things. I'm almost 31 and the doctor has recently told me I have liver damage (surprise, surprise) Drinking was my coping mechanism, a hard day, the kids being difficult, motivation ( I can clean house so quick and easily with some rocking music and a glass of wine in hand.)
It's been 8 days without a drink and it isn't getting easier, in fact it feels like it gets harder every day, today I'm feeling depressed and very teary. I try to be (act) really strong and like I'm coping well, but when I'm alone alcohol is all I can think about. I just feel like I don't know who I am.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Hi Misty,
I'm so glad you found us and had the courage to post!
Well done on your 8 days - it's no surprise that you're depressed - I remember early sobriety very well and how ANGRY I was that I felt so crappy.
Are you doing this on your own? Do you have support from family or friends?
Others will be along to welcome you shortly - please keep posting, and don't give up.
Rowan
I'm so glad you found us and had the courage to post!
Well done on your 8 days - it's no surprise that you're depressed - I remember early sobriety very well and how ANGRY I was that I felt so crappy.
Are you doing this on your own? Do you have support from family or friends?
Others will be along to welcome you shortly - please keep posting, and don't give up.
Rowan
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,496
Hi Misty,
Welcome and on 8 sober days - that's great!
There is a lot of emotion to deal with in early sobriety. For me, I'd been suppressing my feelings for so long that I really had no clue what I was feeling when I stopped drinking. I was in in unfamiliar territory. But, it does get easier. It also takes a lot of work and I had to change many things in my life to keep me on the road to sobriety.
Welcome and on 8 sober days - that's great!
There is a lot of emotion to deal with in early sobriety. For me, I'd been suppressing my feelings for so long that I really had no clue what I was feeling when I stopped drinking. I was in in unfamiliar territory. But, it does get easier. It also takes a lot of work and I had to change many things in my life to keep me on the road to sobriety.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Melbourne Australia
Posts: 71
Hey misty congrats on 8 days, thanks fantastic. I'm not too far ahead of you, have you told your doctor exactly what's been going on? I'm struggling too but it's getting easier. There are some excellent hotlines available in Oz and great online counselling too. I found this anonymous service for Australia a fantastic place to start. http://www.counsellingonline.org.au/en/ and don't forget AA is also fantastic. Stay strong and good luck, don't forget to come back, the people in here have helped me so much, they are very inspirational and I have drawn great strength from their comments.
Life is Grand
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,039
Hi Misty, I am glad you are here, feeling a little lost is normal at this point. Your thoughts will clear up with time, for now, just don't use. Please read and post often, there is a lot of wisdom on SR! I look forward to yor posts.
Cathy
Cathy
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Barefoot....
Oh how well I remember speeding and a beer in my hand...
woo hoo could I clean!!!!!
And maddog my teen aged girls until they would have nothing
to do with me after awhile.....
You take me back...
Yes...it takes time ...the body is reeling from the abuse of alcohol
and takes time to heal itself.
I had liver disease and now a healthy one.
It is worth going into recovery and feel those hellish feelings
rather than die.
And look....already three Aussies on this thread..and you will
find hundreds of alcoholics, some with a long time in successful
recovery...and some with Day1 or 2....
You are in good company, and
WELCOME TO SR.....
Stay and make some friends.
Love,
IO
Oh how well I remember speeding and a beer in my hand...
woo hoo could I clean!!!!!
And maddog my teen aged girls until they would have nothing
to do with me after awhile.....
You take me back...
Yes...it takes time ...the body is reeling from the abuse of alcohol
and takes time to heal itself.
I had liver disease and now a healthy one.
It is worth going into recovery and feel those hellish feelings
rather than die.
And look....already three Aussies on this thread..and you will
find hundreds of alcoholics, some with a long time in successful
recovery...and some with Day1 or 2....
You are in good company, and
WELCOME TO SR.....
Stay and make some friends.
Love,
IO
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Member
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Somwhere over the rainbow
Posts: 1,175
HI BM, welcome to SR.
I can so relate to the things you said. I had a CT Scan due to migraines when I was younger. First thing the doc asked was "Do you drink?" I answered not any more, he said good. Apparently there was visible injury to the brain from drink.
That said, I have also been where you are at. I have craved booze to the point that was all I could think about... the important thing I learned is this "This too shall pass". You just have to stick with it.
In the meantime, things that helped me with the cravings: exercise, drink water when I felt the craving, relaxation - music bath etc, reading (big book and for pleasure), attending meetings and SR regularly.
Peace, Levi
I can so relate to the things you said. I had a CT Scan due to migraines when I was younger. First thing the doc asked was "Do you drink?" I answered not any more, he said good. Apparently there was visible injury to the brain from drink.
That said, I have also been where you are at. I have craved booze to the point that was all I could think about... the important thing I learned is this "This too shall pass". You just have to stick with it.
In the meantime, things that helped me with the cravings: exercise, drink water when I felt the craving, relaxation - music bath etc, reading (big book and for pleasure), attending meetings and SR regularly.
Peace, Levi
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Middle Ga
Posts: 1,515
Hi, Misty- welcome to SR and great job on your sober days! Like you, everything was better with a glass of wine in hand! At the beginning there were days when I felt like I could crawl out of my skin! It really does get better, hard to believe, but true. Breathe and post. Stay with us, it was a lifesaver for me. I use AA and SR as a program for my recovery. AA scared the cr@p out of me.. but I gave it a chance and am grateful for the things I have today.
Hope to see you again soon!
Hope to see you again soon!
Determined
Join Date: May 2007
Location: On the verge of insanity
Posts: 330
Hi Misty
We are prety much at the same stage, I am so tierd all the time, but at least I am a little richer, not only in money, but in the information I have found on SR. It really is a great support.
a week ago I couldnt go out of the house and I am just away to walk the dog on a nice sunny evening here then come back and drink apple juice.
Stay strong and keep posting/reading
We are prety much at the same stage, I am so tierd all the time, but at least I am a little richer, not only in money, but in the information I have found on SR. It really is a great support.
a week ago I couldnt go out of the house and I am just away to walk the dog on a nice sunny evening here then come back and drink apple juice.
Stay strong and keep posting/reading
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