into the fire
 

I spent the last four months in a Florida swamp rehab; I went after an intervention.
The place addressed addiction and trauma; I've since discovered trauma is the root of most addiction.
Dealing with my trauma is crucial to recovering from my addiction.
Now I am home, a place of love but also triggers and lingering resentments.
I'm trying to keep doing the next right thing, but I have my concerns.
Anyone else walking in these flames?

nice to meet you, blade recovers. you going to aa/na meetings? do you have a sponsor? working the steps? do you have a private counselor? have you considered a halfway/sober living house instead of home for awhile?

glad you found us, and congrats on your recovery time. it's great that you are recognizing and talking about your concerns.

blessings, k

BR, I have a story of trauma and abuse that is approximately 100 pages long (single small text). I think that explains part of the addiction process... maladaptive coping skills... however, it doesn't explain my euphoric reaction to alcohol that other normal drinkers do not experience.

I don't want to undermine what you went through in the rehab, but I think addiction is more complicated than what you have presented. Well, at least for me it is.

Levi

Thanks k.
I am going to AA/NA and just found my home group. My therapy will begin next week.
I feel I need to be home with my 8 year old, although I know my recovery comes first.
Thanks for your support.

Levi- sorry I implied it was simple. It's far from it. It took me 10 years to start to see how my trauma influenced my addiction.
The fog is clearing but there's still lots of fog.
The damage done is still spiraling around my head as I recover.
The key, for me, is self awareness and it takes time.

welcome to SR :)

Yes, it does take time and there often many layers covering our wounds.

I'm glad you found us.

Hiya Blade

Welcome

I too have suffered trauma, I think when we start to work on ourselves we see how past experiences shaped what we are now. I found therapy really helpful for that stuff though it takes time to be able to open up and trust a therapist.

I like what Anna said about layers, that is my experience of healing and being in recovery, many layers.



Rose