Catastrophic

Hello All
I want to stop drinking. The problem is I work in an industry where everyone drinks all the time. Really they drink at least three pints at lunch, and then after work. And every work meeting is followed on by a drinking session, and you are expected to attend. How do I drink a glass of lemonade and rebutt the inevitable questions without letting on that I have a drinking problem? I mean, I can only say I am on antibiotics for so long.
Your advice would be very welcome.

Anna

Hi Catastrophic,

Welcome!

When I stopped drinking it was impossible for me to be around people who were drinking. It was just not something I could manage to pull off. Luckily I wasn't in a work situation like you are, but if I had been, in all honesty, I would have had to find another job. I would not have been able to stay sober in that kind of situation.

I think you will hear many different ideas on what to tell people when you're not drinking. For me, I decided to say nothing. It's nobody's business, but mine. I tried lying, but it felt miserable because lying was one of the things I was trying to change in my life. So, if people question me, I just smile and change the subject.

Astro

It's pretty simple for me. I'm honest and tell people that I'm an alcoholic, that I can never safely take a drink again. If that doesn't work I tell them to dial 9-1-1 and have the police ready when I decide to take that drink.

I used to work in construction so I understand being around people who have a regular drinking routine, but in order to stay sober I had to stop being in denial of my problem. If you really want to stop, how about starting by being honest with yourself and everyone around you?

Catastrophic

I am very ready to be honest with myself. I have spent the last week in total depression, deplete in energy without any appetite. Today I woke up and said enough is enough and haven't had a drink. Tomorrow I fly out to the States and am going to use the change of scene to help me stem the alcohol abuse. It's just that I will have to cope with workmate pressure if I am to succeed.

leviathon

Hey Cat, you may have to look at whether or not to continue in your job. When I was drinking and working in the bar, stopping was a thought, but not really an option.

Levi

Astro

Great! Thought about trying an AA meeting? It's pretty cool to be surrounded by people with the same disease of alcoholism, most of them willing to share their stories of success in sobriety. If you want to succeed I'd recommend having some help along the way.

Rowan

Hi Catastrophic. I'm so glad you found us - welcome to SR.

So many here have been where you are at - hope it's some comfort to know that you are no longer alone. Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing - we care.

Rumi

Hello C,

Well, lipitor would be a good excuse. :-0) . Being honest with oneself does not mean to have to carry a banner around the neck about being an alcoholic or anything else. Some things are private matters and not suitable for public consumption. There's nothing wrong with those who decide to share that type of info but one shouldn't have to in order to be authentic.

Catastrophic

Thanks for your comments folks. Well, I spent 13 hours travelling today and resisted the free airline drinks - although was very tempted. Went to the hotel bar and had an orange juice. Actually, being jet lagged is not alot different from feeling drunk so that has helped. I've decided if anyone pressures me at work about the matter, well, standard response will just be that I've gone off alcohol - which is pretty true considering the despair is has given me. And to think, you actually have to pay for the poison.

weatherfreak

hey cat, I too work in an industry that revolves heavily around drinking and drugs. You and I are new to this and I don't think you need to tell anyone anything unless you decide otherwise, it's your business and your journey. If you have to attend lunches and after work functions there are a few ways to lessen the blow so people don't notice. Mind you, I find it hard to be in these situations but sometimes you have no choice.

You're overseas at the moment so why not get to an AA meeting. No one will know you, see if you can relate to others there. I know I have.

Most alcoholics have had to be very sneaky, so lets turn this around to our advantage and make a positive out of it, for the time being. But in saying that, keep it true to yourself for the good of your well being.

BRAIN STORM IDEAS:

Antibiotics can wreak havoc on your digestive system causing an imbalance in natural stomach bacteria (best way I can describe it) and beer/wine(white) contributes to this also because of the yeast content. You can say that while abroad someone told you about this and you got herbal tablets to help fix your stomach problems and that you can't drink beer for the time being. This is a good excuse not to have a pint, or let anyone buy you one. So if you still feel uncomfortable with people not thinking that you are not drinking you can go to the bar, order a soda water in a small glass with ice/lemon and tell them it's gin or vodka or dry ginger/scotch and you can't possible go into rounds because it's more expensive. Just don't let anyone buy you a drink and if they absolutely insist tell them to make this one a soda because your tummy is playing up. Soda water is great for an upset stomach. You can also tell the bar staff that if someone from that group over there, tries to buy you a gin/scotch do not put under any circumstances any alcohol in it at all. You would be amazed at how understanding bar staff can be, they put up with alcoholics every single day. Sniff your drink before you drink it and if it's got grog in it, accidently spill it on purpose or toss it in a pot plant when no one is looking and go get yourself another soda.

You will actually be surprised that people wont notice that you're not drinking after a few days, freaky but true. They also wont notice you not being there after work either, maybe a little a first, trust me on this one, they are too busy drinking. Good luck, hang in there and I'm sure some others will have some more inventive ideas.

teej

Myself, I just plain and simply say "no thank you, I'm an alcoholic". Most everyone says very positive things. Some even say "I need to quit too, way to go".

If they are your friend, they will back you up all the way. If not, and they push you, get in there face close up and say "no thank you" with a smile.
As far as duties for work, I dont think I've ever seen drinking on the list.

Pilgrim

I am not doing so well on the absinence front but when I want to not drink I say no thanks. No reasons needed. Driving is the best excuse if you need one and another good one I use if it is someone I trust is that I can't drink like I used to and still do my job well and be happy.

I don't hang around. I go to an AA meeting or go home. It can feel a bit lonely at first but we are always here to keep you company.

Home - now there's an idea. A good book or a movie. Cleaning helps. If it is during work hours then there is always ......you guessed it ..... work! And lunchtimes can suddenly become times for ... you guessed it....lunch! Sorry if I am sounding sarcastic. I am taking the mickey out of myself because lunches are my downfall.

Really, you need to not go where they go when they go. Not drinking means finding a whole new way of living. Good luck. I know it can be hard to change and new jobs are not always easy to find in a hurry. I hope you make it.

NYCGirl

Hi Cat,

It sounds to me like your not the only one with the drinking problem, just the only one ready to admit it.

igfan

"I'm allergic"

Catastrophic

That's an interesting point actually. A team meeting for us essentially is a series of presentations followed by an 8 hour binge session. The other day I was having a cig with a collegue who had just gone to the pub for lunch. He said they had each downed 5 pints which I think is 20 units, which is the recommended weekly intake taken in one lunch break. There is a lot of drinking going on. When you are working and earning a good wage a little drinking problem can easily be brushed under the carpet.

mimi54321

Functioning alcoholics.

They won't function like that for long.

M x

parentrecovers

welcome, cat. my daughter is an alcoholic/addict. i told her yesterday - she can either get better or get worst. getting better is a good reason for not drinking, i think.

nice to meet you, keep posting - k

Catastrophic

It's my third night without a drink - and it's been months since I have done that. I feel pretty good, can even feel this depression lifting. You guys and girls are such a support. Thankyou all very much. Silly I know, but I feel 3 days is quite an achievement.

livefree

Cat,
Not silly at all... three days is wonderful=) Take pride in your accomplishment. Have you read the book "Living Sober?" It's a great little book with tips for situations similar to the on your in at work. Also, if you are out with some people from work, you may be surprised to find that they don't drink as much asyou thought. I'm pretty sure one way I rationalized my drinking was by saying others drank as much as me. Also, active alcoholics tend to focus on alcohol a lot more than non-alcoholics... so, unless your co-workers are active alcoholics (which is questionable given their description,), they will probably be focused on what your drinking as much as you think. Finally, if you tended to act unruly or irritable when drinking, your co-workers may welcome your decision to stop drinking. Best of luck.