littlefish

Maybe this won't help much, because I am not sober yet. But, this morning I had a choice. Our liquor cabinet was unlocked. I keep a lock on it because my husband is non-alcoholic and I am. I was the one who put the lock on it, to keep myself away from the alcohol. We discuss my drinking openly and he complied with my request for a lock on the liquor cabinet. He had a whisky last night after I had gone to bed.

I woke up this beautiful morning and saw the cabinet open and sure enough, I had myself a drink. A vodka with mineral water at ten in the morning. JFC. Then I thought, what the hell am I doing? I don't want to BE this way. Today. I don't want to be all shaky and stumbly and slurry. During the hours of my day. I knew if had left that cabinet open I would be the shaky, stumbly, slurry person all day.

I locked the cabinet up and went on with my day because I wanted to like myself. Because I like my non-drunk personality. I like who I am when I am sober and I like my moments in my day when I'm sober. I am a high-energy person who buzzes around like a bee when I'm sober, and I like that. I hate the person I am when I'm a drunk.

It's like night and day. It's like having two personalities. I really feel like I have a split personality.

Rusty Zipper

LF... think you made a healthy choice...

sobriety, recover & life are a bunch of choices...

heres hope'n & pray'n we make the right ones...

xxoo, rz