ayla zaire

liss.....his grandma sounds like an awesome lady....

talk to candy....she knows what you are going through, exactly.......

i can't imagine how hard this all is, but girl, you are so freaking amazing, powerful, and i admire you so much for doing what's like for yourself and your boys, no matter what it takes, or how hard it is.....i love you so much.....

ayla zaire

tam, i'm laughing at you, blondie.....hehe, thanks for making me laugh, sweetie....

Lollipop

(((((Ayla)))) Thank You!!! I love you too sista'!!!!

(((Laura)))) Sounds like an awesome time!!!! And just think....NO hangover today!!!


Last night went from bad to worse.....I went out and was going to get dinner started and then run the sweeper because I had forgotten to, I come out of the laundry room with the vaccume and Mom asks me what I am doing so I told her.... she was so hateful and informed me that I could not run the sweeper at 8 pm. (didnt know there was a proper time to run it) so I didnt do it, just made dinner. I was finishing it up and remembered that I needed to go online and pay on the cable bill... so I let everyone know that dinner was done and I headed back to take care of it...she TOTALLY freaked out on me and proceeded to tell me I needed to at least sit with the kids while they ate even if I wasnt eating etc. When I tried to explain to her that I thought her and Dad were eating too and that I wanted to pay the bill, I got yelled at for lack of communication.....?!?!?!?!?! Um.....I am 38 years old and as long as I pay the bill, what difference does it make HOW I do it and since when do I have to tell everyone everything anyway???? So I go back out there leaving the cable bill and sit down with the kids...we are trying to just talk about whatever and she goes off again and then goes to bed....
The kids finish eating and I am cleaning the kitchen and having a conversation about politics with my Dad who is sitting at the table and she comes storming out and flips out on him and me and tells us we need to NOT DO THIS!!!! Dad is now as confused and bewildered as I am because this is so NOT Moms character and they get into it....I finish the kitchen and go to my room.........Ugh I hate Parkonsis.....I know the alcohol helped but for the most part the behavior is coming from the parkonsis, she has gotten short with everyone more and more lately and she can be stone cold sober when she does.....just one more thing to deal with I guess...Hell, why not?! LOL
Ok I am going to attempt to pay on that bill now bbl lol. HAGD!!!!
Love Liss

Laura_P

What's bbl and HAGD? I'm still trying to learn all this chat shorthand! Most of it I can figure out....

Anyway... funny story. As hubby and I were lying in bed last night talking about our anniversary today and what we were going to do.... it dawned on us that it's not even our anniversary!!! It's not until May 14th!!!!! We actually had two weddings... a smal very private one done by a JOP with onlymy parents, his mom and Stepdad, my bro and his wife, and my best friend. That one was May 14th. Then we had the BIG ceremony on November 6th with the white dress ans bridesmaids and the whole shebang.....we both got our dates mixed up! Most of our family doesn't even know about the May wedding, even though we were officially already married when the November wedding happened. there were lots of reasons, but the biggest was that his parents had a bitter divirce when he was a child, and he was very close to his mother (it was his stepdad who introduced us). He was the only one out of 7 children that even spoke to his mom. She was not going to come to the wedding, as she didn't want to make it uncofortable for "our day". DH really wanted her to be a part of it, so we had an early ceremony, which actually benefited us in many other ways as well.... I didn't have health insurance, and getting married, I could on on his... my mother didn't want us "living in sin", so if we were legally married we wouldn't be sinning in her eyes.....Our car insurance rates dropped drastically once we were married...

SO any way, no anniversary today... gotta wait until the 14th....

I was so pumped up cleanign yesterday that I'm thinking of what I'm going to clean today.... and I HATE cleaning! But I LOVE having a clean house! Just hate the process that gets me there. I think I may actually go work in the yard.... I like that better.

Hope all of you mommies ( and non-mommies) have a WONDERFUL day!!!!

Laura_P

Ayla- can you make me a new avatar???????????? Or something that I can use in my signature (even though I still haven't figured that F'n thing out!!!!)Not sure what I want.... I love your Betty Boop and how you do all different things but with the same central theme. you actually look a little like Betty..... (in a good way... that's a compliment!) I've gotta think of some sort of central theme that I can associate with.... I'll brainstorm today....

scootinbabe

good morning mommas!

we're off to a baseball (major league!!) game today as a family. FUN!


liss--you need to set boundaries with your mom just like you did with dh. my parents lived with dh and i for awhile and, as much as i loved my mom, she was always telling me what to do and drove me insane. so, i let her know some ground rules--in a nice way, but rules nonetheless. like, "it makes me uncomfortable when you reprimand me in front of my children. please do not do it. you raised me right so now you have to trust that i have good judgement and will be able to prioritize my tasks blah blah..."


tam--rolflmao! i have totally had days like that! hope you had fun at the party!


ig--glad you had fun!


laurap--way to go on the sober bowling. i hate to clean too. one of my friends cleans when she's upset--it's her catharsis--but that doesn't happen to me. i tend to suction on to the tv with my face in a bowl of ice cream. i wish i was like samantha in "bewitched" and i could just twitch my nose and the house would be clean. and all the extra pack-rat stuff would be at goodwill. hmmmm. what a nice thought.

Laura_P

Hmmmm.... maybe I could use Samantha as my new avatar.....

Lollipop

Good Point Scoot! I will try talking to her later.....I am off to weed eat and start scraping the garage, gotta get that badboy painted!!!! LOL


Laura.... BBL = Be Back Later
HAGD = Have A Good Day

And Im off.....lol......HAGD

Laura_P

Okay, I have always been an extremely easy-going person. Not a lot gets to me. but it seems like lately I am just so on edge. The slightest little thing gets me going. I don't know if the alchohol used to help me chill out more, but I'm definitely not chill now! I feel so high-strung, and it's not even over important stuff...just everyday life hassles. Anyone else experience this early in their sobriety? What helps?

TamTam

Hi Guys-

Laura- Very often i felt like I was going to crawl out of my skin!! It will get better- it's learning to deal with life and emotions without altering your brain and making the feelings soft and fuzzy. I would leave the room to be alone- read or get on the computer- anything to distract me and get me away from my own thoughts. You'll get there!!

The party last night was pretty mellow- DH hasn't had anything to drink this whole weekend! Thet's really good. 3 men from our town were killed in a small plane accident Friday- It is amazing how something like this in a small, close community affects everyone and everything... Things are going on, but the mood everywhere is very somber. They were active in our church, the community.. sad.

Talk to you all later- back to my son's drawers... time to thin out the crap!
Love you all!

xoxo T

TamTam

Where is everyone?

Jackie, I hope you're having fun!!!

Another weekend down for us- a new week full of opportunities. More chances to live life on life's terms, give help, ask for help, learn something new... endless possibilities are out there for each of us.

Lollipop

Laura... I have been sober for awhile now...(sorry, I dont count...too much pressure...someone else may have some clue as to how long for me lol) but I know it has been since last August, after Kurt died, I lost my mind and got sh!t faced...) anyhoo....not to sound discouraging but I still have days when I am just SOOOO keyed up that I feel like if someone touches me, I will literally set fire to them....but those days are getting fewer and fewer...just be kind to yourself and know it will pass!!!!

Ok so OMFG!!!!! I was just outside playing Bocci ball with the kids and our next door neighbor came over wanting to know what we were doing....we told him and he acted all interested in the game but was HITTING on ME!!!!! OOOF!!!! Ummmmm girls!!!! this is um...so OUT of my league!!! I havent handled flirtation without a husband excuse to bail me out for 23 years.... LMFAO!!!!! I did the best I could and then came in for the night but he winked at me and told me he was looking forward to seeing me tomorrow....asked if we planned on another round tomorrow...I said um....yeah sure....your are more than welcome to play a round with us.... BLAH BLAH BLAH!!! But omfg NOW what????? LMAO.....

I should SERIOUSLY write a damn book .... I could call it Dysfunctional and Fun.... ahahahaha I am FREAKED out!!!!!!!

scootinbabe

liss---enjoy! what a great compliment!

here's my funny story. we have a little red two-seater convertible. i was alone driving it one day and these 20-something guys were looking over my way and smiling. i was like "oh yeah, i still got it.." until we stopped at a light and they pulled next to me and were obviously way more interested in looking at the car instead of me--even asked me what kind it was. i about died. you know you're getting old when this kinda stuff happens...yikes!

laurap--your body is telling you something. when i feel like that, i go to a meeting and it chills me out. but yes, it is part of regaining your feelings again. (or it's getting your period!) post here, hang tight, work out, go to the movies...

tam--sorry about the bad news. **{tam}}

we survived the game and had fun! another weekend down.

NYCGirl

Hi all,

Been keeping up, lot of mommies missing.... I fell like talking .....just havn't felt like typing.... school does that to me...


be back soon...miss you all...

I need a new avatar

Lollipop

((((((NYC)))))))

Smile and hug yourself sweetie!!!! It is good to see you!!!!!! Hope all is still going well with school!!!!!!!



Ok my Mommies....so I am going to break down and take a trazzy and PRAY that I sleep more then an hour or so.....NOT a DOC so dont worry about that, in fact I HATE them but I am going on something like 7 hours in 8 days....I have GOT to sleep!!!! I love EACH of you!!!!! Speaking of that where is Kimmie?????? hmmmm....Anyhoo......
I am still freaked out lmao....I never will date at this point lmao..... ok off to brush my teeth and prepare to pass out for awhile (not literally, but sleep only if I am lucky)
Love Ya's
Liss

Laura_P

Thanks for the encouragement. I totally broke out in tears today over nothing. I was cooking dinner while helping my kids with their homework, and the meat got a little overcooked and was dry. Well, one of them said somehting about it being dry and I just went off about how it wouldn't have been dry if I hadn't been doing 2nd and 5th grade homework, and how they need to be more grateful and blah blah blah. Then I felt so awful afterwards. It's like that wasn't even me talking. I couldn't just get away or go to the gym or for a walk b/c I had to help them with their homework and I had to cook dinner. DH was at a soccer game. When he came home, he saw that I was upset and took right over with the kids. I went outside and cried, and he came out and told me how he knows how hard this is for me, and that he will do whatever it takes for me to get through it. Then i felt bad because I felt like I need to be a better mom and wife, and I'm not doing that. At least not today. I wanted a drink soooo bad! No, not A drink... about 12! It's too early to be PMS'ing.. I can only imagine when that fun hormonal shift arrives!

I had not been taking my Lexapro because, although it makes the lows not so low, it also makes the highs not so high. Well, I took a double dose today, and I need to go back to taking it, I guess. I just feel so flat when I take it everyday. maybe just a lower dose, once i get past this hump.

scootinbabe

go gentle with yourself laurap. you are healing. you are doing all the right things. we all have bad days (and sometimes i have them more often than not!) this too shall pass. (gotta love those slogans! they do ring true sometimes!)


**{nyc}} miss you.

Lollipop

Good Mornin Mommies,
(((Laura))))) Scoot is right!! You are doing the right things....just stay strong and hold fast, it does get better!!! If your meds make you kinda robotic feeling, have you thought about switching? there are so many different things out there, I know I had to go through 6 or 7 different kinds before settling with the Zoloft.

Today is yet another new day! Cross fingers.....my phone needs to ring BAD! I need to hear from my Dad about the loan on the divorce issue and I need to hear from a job!!!! Meanwhile, after school, it will be back to scraping the garage LOL.

Have a wonderful day All!!!!!

Laura_P

I tried a few different ones after my mom passed (7 1/2 years ago) and didn't like most of them , including zoloft, because of the sexual side effects. I REALLY liked St. John's Wort, an herbal med, and took that for about 4 years until all of a sudden, it started giving me high blood pressure. The lexapro is probably the next best as far as side effects, for me, I think I just need to find the right dose. I've been on and off of it for a few years. I need to just stay on until I get over this hump.

I feel better today, although I didn't sleep much... what's up with that???? I NEVER have problems falling asleep. I can usually sleep anywhere, anytime. But the past couple of days I'm suddenly having some insomnia. Nothing like Liss's (((LISS)))), but just trouble getting to sleep, waking up a couple of times at night and taking a while to fall back to sleep. This is very out of character for me. I haven't had a drink in almost a month, and I feel like the effects are just now hitting me. I just want to feel like myself again, but without the alchohol.

BWMD

I tried about 6 anitdepressants. I am not able to take then. The SSRIs were the worst for me. I had every possible side effect including hypertension.

Laura, I have on several occassions cried when dinner did not turn out as I planned. I can remember one time, I burned a pizza. I cried for hours.