stone

Here I am 6 days sober after an epic 10 day binge, actually if I had let myself really go for it it could have been a lot more epic. I drank a bottle of vodka a day and sometimes a bottle and a half (70cl bottle=1.5 pints).
Anyway, were my mood swings this extreme last time, I dont remember. I can go from positive about everything to a big baby in a second. Of course there is always the underlying depression too. Oh such fun! I keep repeating my new sig as a mantra, I am a hairs breadth from drinking again-the power of addiction huh? I know I wont drink (when I know, I know) but AAAARRRRRGGGHHH!!!!! HARD!

TamTam

(((Stone))) I'm sorry you are having a hard time. Since the disease is progressive, each time you go back it will be more difficult. : Please hang on and don't give up!!!

xoxo T

Lollipop

(((((Stone))))))

Hang in there and stay strong!!!! Go back and read your past posts, maybe they can give you some insight to your moods in the past, they may be able to help you get through this a bit easier, at least I know when I reread mine, it gives me strength.
~HUG!~ Liss

Tazman53

Stone you may want to add to your Mantra, that alcoholism is a progressive disease, if I feel like hell right now and drink again it will be worse the next time!

Stone as I know you know already I will throw it out there as a reminder, mood swings and depression are all part of the arsenal that the beast uses to draw us back into drinking again, and every time we slip makes the beast that much stronger the next go around.

I am so thankful I quit trying to jump off that damn merrygo round all by myself and finally put down my pride before it killed me and took the hand that was being held out to help me all along and got off of the merrygo round of alcohol.

parentrecovers

think of the rewards, stone. blessings, k

Dee74

Stone-
Ya always got me to bounce ideas off, buddy
hang in there mate

D

Iwanttobe1

Stone,

I know how you feel. I am riding the ups and downs myself. Six days sober is awesome. Night before last I was so ready to drink. But the support here helped me realize how futile that would be. So, I didn't. Today I am glad that I fought off one more impulse to consume what has been consuming me for years.

Hang on my friend, it WILL get better.

Hugs,

Carol

Anna

Stone,

You can get through this and you really will feel better.

stone

Thanks everyone, just posting that and getting support from you all has really helped me today

Remembering it is an addiction I am fighting, stupid as it sounds helps.

Tammy-thanks I am hanging on.

Liss-thanks, I might do that, I might bore myself to death doing it but it is a good idea.

Taz-thanks as always, I wonder what you are alluding too?

k-it is hard to remember the rewards, I was saying to someone the other day as an addict I am used to instant gratification but I have to get past that.

Dee, thanks bud.

Carol-thanks, it sounds like we are going through the same sort of thing atm, I am glad posting here helped you the other night just as posting here today has helped me!

Anna-thanks, I will get through it, especially now, I guess I needed some support and I got it too!

I will NOT drink today and for today that is good enough for me.

Rowan

I'm glad you're here, Stone. I understand those crazy emotions. Hang in there. We are all in this together.

FlySober

Stone, hang in there. Your doing the right thing. Before long the days will get better, the nights relaxing, and the mornings FANTASTIC. Really they will. Good work and keep it up. Best thoughts and wishes from me to you.

stone

Thanks guys!

Rowan-thanks, I love your sig.

Fly-thanks, I know you are right it is hard sometimes but no-one said it was gonna be easy! I look forward to the things you mentioned, I know they will come.

gypsytears

I can relate to this feeling stone. It is hard some days... not so much in the forefront on others. It's been almost 6 months since I last drank any alcohol and would you believe...it does get better.

stone

Thanks gypsy babes! It is getting better already, I hope I can make it past the 14 day mark this time. Anyway, I wont quit before the miracle happens lol!

Hope

It gets better, then it gets different. Then there are rough moments but that will pass and it will get better again.

Early recovery is an especially wild roller coaster to ride. Don't worry, I'm on it too so I know how it can be!

The miracle is unfolding each day you don't pick up a drink.

stone

Thanks Hope, how are you today? It is 9am here and I got out of a freezing cold bed wet with sweat at 6.30am lol. No way could I carry on lying there, anyway I know this much-I won't drink today.

mimi54321

You're doing good Stone. I understand totally, am finding it really difficult myself right now. I really wish you could fast forward the first few days/weeks.

Thinking of you

M

stone

Thanks Mimi, that would be very handy wouldn't it lol?

Thinking of you too

stone

OK it is back in full force again now, one minute elated and the next I just feel like crying. I just have to remember this is normal when a person quits and try to step back from the rollercoaster ride. Sucks tho!

FlySober

Stone, don't give in! Do something. Get to a meeting. Stay here, read and keep posting. Go out and exercise. Find a friend (or another alcohlic/user who is clean) who understands and can listen. But do not sit around and do nothing but stew in those thoughts! You get out what you put in. You can do it!