It hurts!!!
Hope3
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 2,155
Originally Posted by Midas 
I'm so sorry to hear about this. You're a terrific person! And if he doesn't have any feelings for you, that's his loss. I think you're wonderful.
I'm proud of how far you've come. I've seen how you keep fighting for your sobriety. Don't let this turn of events ruin your journey.
I'm proud of how far you've come. I've seen how you keep fighting for your sobriety. Don't let this turn of events ruin your journey.
Sorry I copied, but I was going to say the very same thing......
Hugs, Hope3
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Ahhh Hope4..my friend...
Sorry I didn't see your post until today...........
It is OK to feel the feelings you have. Most of us have gone through it.
I have more than once....you do come out on the other side...but please don't handle it the way I did...relapse.
It's not worth it...more pain...much much more.
Remember Hope..there is One who died of a broken heart.....
reach out and up and grab hold of the faith that is within you!
It will carry you through the darkest night....
And remember....
"Weeping may endure for the night; but joy cometh in the morning"...
Sorry I didn't see your post until today...........
It is OK to feel the feelings you have. Most of us have gone through it.
I have more than once....you do come out on the other side...but please don't handle it the way I did...relapse.
It's not worth it...more pain...much much more.
Remember Hope..there is One who died of a broken heart.....
reach out and up and grab hold of the faith that is within you!
It will carry you through the darkest night....
And remember....
"Weeping may endure for the night; but joy cometh in the morning"...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Recovery
Posts: 3,229
The hurt is still there but I've kept myself busy so I wouldn't think about it.
I've had Intensive Outpatient and stuff to do for that so I jumped right in and after that, pretty much anything that will keep my mind on something else.
Yesterday, I realized that I've let this guy treat me like crap for a long time. It never would have worked out between us. He has his own issues that he needs to work through but he is still in denial and isn't willing to work through them. He was lying to me and was really mean at times. My self-esteem was so low that I let that be my standard. I short-changed myself by standing in that revolving door. I waited and hoped he would change but in the process, I missed other doors that may have been opened to me.
He was my excuse to drink/use for a long time. He would hurt me and I would get loaded. I always had that excuse as a standby.
I need to learn to love myself. I'm lacking in that right now.
I've had Intensive Outpatient and stuff to do for that so I jumped right in and after that, pretty much anything that will keep my mind on something else.
Yesterday, I realized that I've let this guy treat me like crap for a long time. It never would have worked out between us. He has his own issues that he needs to work through but he is still in denial and isn't willing to work through them. He was lying to me and was really mean at times. My self-esteem was so low that I let that be my standard. I short-changed myself by standing in that revolving door. I waited and hoped he would change but in the process, I missed other doors that may have been opened to me.
He was my excuse to drink/use for a long time. He would hurt me and I would get loaded. I always had that excuse as a standby.
I need to learn to love myself. I'm lacking in that right now.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
((((Hope4Life))))
I just realized something myself lately. It's bad enough when the one you love hurts you on purpose. To get even with you , or try and control you.
But what's worse (to me at least) is when they just leave. Physically and/or emotionally. They just don't give a ratz a** about you anymore. They don't even think about you. You don't exist.
This is (was) a woman I spent 20 years with. Raised kids & bought a home with. Struggled against all odds with.
Not exactly your situation, but I know how you feel. It hurts.
I just realized something myself lately. It's bad enough when the one you love hurts you on purpose. To get even with you , or try and control you.
But what's worse (to me at least) is when they just leave. Physically and/or emotionally. They just don't give a ratz a** about you anymore. They don't even think about you. You don't exist.
This is (was) a woman I spent 20 years with. Raised kids & bought a home with. Struggled against all odds with.
Not exactly your situation, but I know how you feel. It hurts.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: MA.
Posts: 1,719
Originally Posted by Hope4life
Yesterday, I realized that I've let this guy treat me like crap for a long time. It never would have worked out between us. He has his own issues that he needs to work through but he is still in denial and isn't willing to work through them. He was lying to me and was really mean at times. My self-esteem was so low that I let that be my standard. I short-changed myself by standing in that revolving door. I waited and hoped he would change but in the process, I missed other doors that may have been opened to me.
.
.
Most of my relationships I was the classic doormat...I was always trying to save someone, letting myself fall by the wayside. It wasn't until recently that I learned you can't save anyone...I also needed to save myself from my addictions.
It is not YOU Hope, it is his sickness...
I am rooting for you!!!
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