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Old 04-28-2007, 06:55 PM   #1 (permalink)
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Sobriety First


I like metaphors. I am a visual person.

When we melt our hearts, there is always a puddle. We ask for people to help us stay safe when this happens. Otherwise, unthinking or uncaring people might stand in the puddle and make it worse or maybe they stand in the puddle and splash around on purpose. That's icky.

We are vulnerable when we melt.

But there is hope.

We were actually more vulnerable as a block of ice. We looked solid and strong. We were hard enough to cope with life's pain. But the loneliness of being too hard to penetrate made us drink and the drink drove us mad, made us sick and stopped helping in the end. We had to melt or die.

We were told to ask for help then. We reached out. That meant we had to thaw that first little piece of ice. What a scary thing to do. Who should we trust to be in the room when there is a puddle on the floor? We might need to ask unthinking lovers or family members to leave the room.

At his time, we haven't organised a container yet to catch to drips. We were caught by surprise like when our waters broke in childbirth. Woops too many metaphors even for this muddled mind.

If someone offers a container, we accept gratefully. It's an emergency. We are melting. It's not safe to have our hearts on the floor. We don't have time to check to see if the container is clean. There are lots of clean containers at SR. We start to melt because we feel we have some support with the thawing process.

We need a container so that when we want to water something later, we can.

To stay safe we feel that we just have to make sure every drip goes into the container and not onto the floor. Melting too fast causes spills that people can stand in by accident or jump in on purpose. We have to make sure the container is not dirty.

I have a wee mess. I put some of my thawed ice in a dirty cup. How do I clean that water now? I have thrown the cup away and now I have a dirty little puddle on the floor. I could mop it all up quickly and refreeze everything but then I would have a frozen heart with icky stuff in it.

So no backing out here. I will ask for help again.

I need to wait for the dirt in the water to settle and then I need your careful help to mop up the puddle one drip at a time and put it back into the container. It will be painstaking and we will need to be meticulous so that I don't lose any drops. It will be like trying to find someone's contact lense in a swimming pool.

Anyone up for the job? Would someone like to help? You will need a clean tiny sponge.
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Old 04-28-2007, 07:04 PM   #2 (permalink)
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sponges ? got a warehouse full of 'em...just let me know when you want one, Steph...

D
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Old 04-28-2007, 07:11 PM   #3 (permalink)
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Yep, I can lend a hand too steph. If Dee can lend me a sponge from the warehouse!
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As from a fire aflame thousands of sparks come forth,
even so from the Creator an infinity of beings have life and to him return again.
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Old 04-28-2007, 07:12 PM   #4 (permalink)
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Sorry Steph...

It is your puddle.

I am detaching...

I can only handle my messes today.

Love you though.



Sherry

"We are each responsible for our own actions."

This was my personal motto the day I got clean and sober last summer.

It has helped me to stay sober from day one for almost a year.

And..it has made me strong for the journey with God's help.
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Old 04-28-2007, 07:16 PM   #5 (permalink)
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no spong in my shad

mmm...maybe you can kind da step around the puddle
so you don't slip in it.
maybe you can open up the door and let sunlight in
to dry up the puddle.

perhapse, since you opened the door, maybe you can
step out into the sunlight too.
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Old 04-28-2007, 07:22 PM   #6 (permalink)
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Hi SaTIT. Nope don't want the water to evaporate.

IO Storm - That's cool. Take care.

Dee and Stone - we have the start of a working bee. Thanks guys. It's a clean room like at NASA for now but I make make tea and scones and sandwiches for the workers. What is your favourite food? We could be here a while.
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Old 04-28-2007, 07:27 PM   #7 (permalink)
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I have my sponge in hand. It's still a little wet from the mess I made. But as soon as it dries, I am here to help.

Hugs,

Carol
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Old 04-28-2007, 07:30 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Hey dubsy... I have a sponge . I appreciate your metaphor.... very creative.
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Old 04-28-2007, 07:37 PM   #9 (permalink)
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We can throw cups away...

But people are not expendable.

Good luck with your thread.

This is my last post here.

Love,

Sherry
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Old 04-28-2007, 07:46 PM   #10 (permalink)
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good lord steph...there's plenty of ice cubes in the freezer
well...how the heck are you ganna make sandwiches with
a spung in your hands ? How the heck are you going to open
the mayon jar ?
As for me..i sure the heck don't what anybody making me
a sandwich with a dirty spong in there hands.

Anywho, when water evaporates, it changes forms and becomes ligther.
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Old 04-28-2007, 07:54 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I agree Sherry. I would never throw people. Just the dirty cups they hold. As far as I can.

Please keep this thread safe. It is very important that this is a safe place for me. It was a great struggle not to ice up again.

I have done nothing to make this happen. I was told the truth and I believe it.

Gypsy - thanks for the offer to help. You are welcome and your help is accepted gratefully.

Carol - other messes also cleaned here. Bring your puddle along. Is that OK everyone on the team?
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Old 04-28-2007, 07:55 PM   #12 (permalink)
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Steph,

Been thinking about you - good to see you're here with us.

Rowan
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Old 04-28-2007, 07:56 PM   #13 (permalink)
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I'm so glad to see you too Steph!
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Old 04-28-2007, 07:57 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Hi SaTIT. I will ask for help to do those things. I am not ready to throw open any doors for it to evaporate yet. If I go too fast, there will be more mess. The sponges aren't dirty but if you don't want to be here, that's ok too.
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Old 04-28-2007, 07:59 PM   #15 (permalink)
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Anna - I can honestly say that without support from you and the other community leaders, I would not have come back. I feel in safe hands and I still have hope because of your kindness.

Rowan, nice to be back.
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Old 04-28-2007, 10:26 PM   #16 (permalink)
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I can see that it may have been to early to come back. Also I can tell from my reactions to posts here that I am not ready for any sort of upset or to trust enough on other threads to be here. I will keep checking in to see when I am ready. Stand by with those little sponges my friends here. Look after those newcomers. Take good care of them. Look after yourselves too.

xxxooo
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Old 04-28-2007, 10:28 PM   #17 (permalink)
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Take care of yourself, Steph. =)
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Old 04-28-2007, 10:29 PM   #18 (permalink)
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I also wanted to add that I can relate. I entrusted a good friend recently and they stabbed me in the back in a major and embarrassing way. I won't go into exactly what happened but this happened during a very vulnerable time for me. I'm still not over it. < 3 = broken heart
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Old 04-28-2007, 11:07 PM   #19 (permalink)
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Hi steph, we will miss you while you are gone, don't take too long to come back ok?
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Old 04-29-2007, 02:17 AM   #20 (permalink)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Pilgrim View Post
I can see that it may have been to early to come back. Also I can tell from my reactions to posts here that I am not ready for any sort of upset or to trust enough on other threads to be here. I will keep checking in to see when I am ready. Stand by with those little sponges my friends here. Look after those newcomers. Take good care of them. Look after yourselves too.

xxxooo
that's cool Steph - I've been out feeling the grass beneath my feet today - I needed it - as well as checking on my store of sponges

Send out the Bat Signal (Kiwi Signal ?) when you're ready.

D
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