new here- looking for support...
little darlin'
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: great lakes state
Posts: 217
new here- looking for support...
Hi everyone, I'm new here and I thought I'd introduce myself...
I've been clean of opiates and alcohol since 3/1/2007. I spent many, many years playing with drugs and alcohol and on a rollarcoaster ride with Bipolar Disorder II.
I'm doing ok... When I first stopped I felt like I went through hell and back emotionally and physically. But now each day gets a little better. I'm at that point where I'm beginning to feel a reawakening of sorts, deep in my soul. The sun feels good again, the air smells good again... I look forward to most days. Clearly I have bad days (or hours or minutes) but their less frequent now than before and that gives me enough hope to get through another day. It's really cool that there are so many others out there that understand what I'm talking about... Thanks for listening.
I've been clean of opiates and alcohol since 3/1/2007. I spent many, many years playing with drugs and alcohol and on a rollarcoaster ride with Bipolar Disorder II.
I'm doing ok... When I first stopped I felt like I went through hell and back emotionally and physically. But now each day gets a little better. I'm at that point where I'm beginning to feel a reawakening of sorts, deep in my soul. The sun feels good again, the air smells good again... I look forward to most days. Clearly I have bad days (or hours or minutes) but their less frequent now than before and that gives me enough hope to get through another day. It's really cool that there are so many others out there that understand what I'm talking about... Thanks for listening.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: pass the bon bons
Posts: 2,363
welcome to sr, jkm......you seem to be doing great.....i'm glad you found us....
thank you for posting this positive message......you will surely inspire many people here, some of which may feel like they will never make it to where you are......
and don't hesitate to post during those rough moments....we can help you through them....
good luck to you
ayla
thank you for posting this positive message......you will surely inspire many people here, some of which may feel like they will never make it to where you are......
and don't hesitate to post during those rough moments....we can help you through them....
good luck to you
ayla
little darlin'
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: great lakes state
Posts: 217
hi again everybody!!!! I'm SO excited that I found this place again. At the beginning of my recovery I wrote this message and forgot how to get back here.... duh..... but yeah! I found you again. I see many replies and I am humbly greatful. Thank you to all....
I'm still clean and sober. In fact re-reading my own post made me smile cuz I'm sitting here w/ a nasty sunburn. hee-hee, but I love the feel of the sun on my face, maybe too much, right?.... I had an experience the other day that I'd like to share w/ you all. I was laying beside the pool in the sun, it was hot out. Just as I got ready to jump in the water to cool off, a massive breeze came along that cooled me instead. I closed my eyes and laid back down. I melted into my chair, or so it seemed. I literally began to feel as if I were floating, flying, no, soaring in the sky. Like I was a bird, no wings, just floating.... feeling the sun on face, the breeze in my hair, the birds singing in the background.... I started crying. Right there, next to the pool crying. Happy crying though, it was like something inside of me was healing, a part of myself returning. A smile crept across my face. I'm really doing this... being sober and happy at the same time. It's amazing. I wish it hadn't taken me so long to get here.
How are all of you? thanks again for all of the earlier supportive responses, your all very kind.
I'm still clean and sober. In fact re-reading my own post made me smile cuz I'm sitting here w/ a nasty sunburn. hee-hee, but I love the feel of the sun on my face, maybe too much, right?.... I had an experience the other day that I'd like to share w/ you all. I was laying beside the pool in the sun, it was hot out. Just as I got ready to jump in the water to cool off, a massive breeze came along that cooled me instead. I closed my eyes and laid back down. I melted into my chair, or so it seemed. I literally began to feel as if I were floating, flying, no, soaring in the sky. Like I was a bird, no wings, just floating.... feeling the sun on face, the breeze in my hair, the birds singing in the background.... I started crying. Right there, next to the pool crying. Happy crying though, it was like something inside of me was healing, a part of myself returning. A smile crept across my face. I'm really doing this... being sober and happy at the same time. It's amazing. I wish it hadn't taken me so long to get here.
How are all of you? thanks again for all of the earlier supportive responses, your all very kind.
came-came to-came to believe
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,116
Happy crying though, it was like something inside of me was healing, a part of myself returning.
Good to see ya back here!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Glad you found your way back to us! Thanks for sharing your experience - I can identify completely with the joy and gratitude for the simple things - like sun on my face and wind in my hair. Who would have thought that so much freedom could be gained by giving up booze and drugs?
I hope you keep posting - we need you here.
Rowan
I hope you keep posting - we need you here.
Rowan
little darlin'
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: great lakes state
Posts: 217
hi again everyone... I'm feeling really happy and light this morning. Like all is well in the world. It's such a good feeling.
Thorn, my friend.... it's a constant struggle for me, for you too, I'm sure. I dont feel the 'low' moods (depression) nearly as much as I used to, but I scare myself sometimes w/ how happy I am.... is my mind trying to trick me? Donno, Don't care.
I've noticed that in the past I was prompted to use more when I was down. Today I'm up, in a good mood. I'll take it! No shopping spree's or fights lately, no venom spewing out of my mouth (wishing I could take it back later, but I can't)
I prefer happy and sober to depressed and popping those rotten pills. It's working for me today....smiles..... Anybody else out there battling addiction and bipolar w/o taking the stupid pills?
Thanks to all just for reading, I hope all have a truly wonderful day.
Thorn, my friend.... it's a constant struggle for me, for you too, I'm sure. I dont feel the 'low' moods (depression) nearly as much as I used to, but I scare myself sometimes w/ how happy I am.... is my mind trying to trick me? Donno, Don't care.
I've noticed that in the past I was prompted to use more when I was down. Today I'm up, in a good mood. I'll take it! No shopping spree's or fights lately, no venom spewing out of my mouth (wishing I could take it back later, but I can't)
I prefer happy and sober to depressed and popping those rotten pills. It's working for me today....smiles..... Anybody else out there battling addiction and bipolar w/o taking the stupid pills?
Thanks to all just for reading, I hope all have a truly wonderful day.
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