New to Recovery
Hi Mama,
Sounds like you're on the right path and in the right place for this journey to begin. It's not easy, but that's what makes it that much more worthwhile. I look forward to getting to know you.
I'm also a mom who has had more embarrassing and humiliating drunken moments than I care to think about. Ugh. Makes my toes curl in shame. You are not alone and won't ever be alone here.
((((Hugs))))
Sounds like you're on the right path and in the right place for this journey to begin. It's not easy, but that's what makes it that much more worthwhile. I look forward to getting to know you.
I'm also a mom who has had more embarrassing and humiliating drunken moments than I care to think about. Ugh. Makes my toes curl in shame. You are not alone and won't ever be alone here.
((((Hugs))))
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Nashville, TN
Posts: 6
I feel you mama.... I have had many late night emails, outings, and phone calls I wish I could erase not only from my memory, though from others. When I drink... I drink... a 12 pack easy... I am a different person, though who isn't.
I have wasted years being wasted and staying in bed the next day feeling the guilt of my actions, only to repeat again the next night.
I am sure we could all write a book on the things that we have done.... I am searching for self love and trying to forgive myself....
Keep posting... I am in your boat....new to it all
I have wasted years being wasted and staying in bed the next day feeling the guilt of my actions, only to repeat again the next night.
I am sure we could all write a book on the things that we have done.... I am searching for self love and trying to forgive myself....
Keep posting... I am in your boat....new to it all
Guest
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 15
Welcome mamasanta07!
I don't know how long you've used, or how many times you have fallen and gotten back up, but the important thing is that have you have gotten back up. I myself spent my first year and a half falling down so many times that I lost count. All those failures though have turned into "stepping stones to success." I am a recovering alcoholic and "hardcore" drug addict with close to 30 years of self-destruction to learn from. I've come to realize in recovery that in that first year and a half it wasn't so much a case of relapse as it was the fact that I simply wasn't done yet. I had what I can only call an insane desire to sit in my shame, guilt, anger, and self-pity. Today, to my great relief, I have discovered recovery has the ability to heal and restore sanity. Honestly, recovery is not exactly what I expected it to be...thank God...because my expectations have always tended to be a little bit warped...lol.
A wise Jedi Master once said; "Do, or do not. There is no try."
I don't know how long you've used, or how many times you have fallen and gotten back up, but the important thing is that have you have gotten back up. I myself spent my first year and a half falling down so many times that I lost count. All those failures though have turned into "stepping stones to success." I am a recovering alcoholic and "hardcore" drug addict with close to 30 years of self-destruction to learn from. I've come to realize in recovery that in that first year and a half it wasn't so much a case of relapse as it was the fact that I simply wasn't done yet. I had what I can only call an insane desire to sit in my shame, guilt, anger, and self-pity. Today, to my great relief, I have discovered recovery has the ability to heal and restore sanity. Honestly, recovery is not exactly what I expected it to be...thank God...because my expectations have always tended to be a little bit warped...lol.
A wise Jedi Master once said; "Do, or do not. There is no try."
Guest
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 321
Hey Mamasanta! Welcome!
As a former hole dweller, I welcome you to the fold! I think everyone here has been in their hole, hiding, but not able to escape from themselves. At least that's where I was living in my hole.
The funny thing is, I think I slipped into the hole years ago, and for some odd reason, as I got older, I'd just HURL myself into it on occasion. Seemed like it would be easier to live there, where all is familar, than venture out.
I'm glad I'm venturing now days. However, I still know that the hole is not far behind me, so I have to be careful!!
Hugs to ya, and again, welcome!
Honu
As a former hole dweller, I welcome you to the fold! I think everyone here has been in their hole, hiding, but not able to escape from themselves. At least that's where I was living in my hole.
The funny thing is, I think I slipped into the hole years ago, and for some odd reason, as I got older, I'd just HURL myself into it on occasion. Seemed like it would be easier to live there, where all is familar, than venture out.
I'm glad I'm venturing now days. However, I still know that the hole is not far behind me, so I have to be careful!!
Hugs to ya, and again, welcome!
Honu
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