wandering star

I first quit drinking 8 months ago. It lasted for 6 weeks.
This forum is the only support I had, besides my family. Now, I dont want to let them know I'm trying to quit again. I don't want to end up disapointing them again.
I lied about drinking the other day, and I quickly admitted lying, but I still feel like ****.
I have broken my husbands trust, and I dont know how to get it back.
I am embarrassed by my lack of control over my own actions.
I also feel like it is a total cop-out to say that I dont have control.
I want to accept responsibility for my actions, change my behavior, and still be respected as a good wife and mother.
I feel like its too late, and I am very very depressed.

mercurial me

don't be so hard on yourself! alcoholism is a lifetime affiction. you made it six weeks before and don't dismiss that accomplishment so readily. it is so hard revealing this condition to family & friends because they cannot truly understand what it's like. keep checking in and remember how strong you were when you made it that 6 weeks. i know you'll be able to get on a sobriety roll again!!!

ayla zaire

hi wandering star......you are just like so many of us......there are a lot of wives and mothers here on this site......join the mamas on the sane mom's thread....we all understand what you are going through completely.......and we can help you through this....you don't need to be ashamed or scared.....you have an addiction, like many other people......and you can beat it....keep trying.....

hugs
ayla

Golfman

Dear Wandering,

You can be all that you want to be. However, I've not known one person in my 21 years fo sobriety that has done this along successfully. While no one wil ever say it's a requirement, my own belief is that unless you have some kind of support group nearby, you're screwed. That being said, have you tried AA. To some those two letters conjure up smokey rooms, old, pot-bellied men, and a lot of BS. Well, that may be true for some meetings, but there are many others that are non-smoking and fun to attend.

Please consider face-to-face contact with another recovering alcohlic. You list Sin City as your home. By that I think you mean Las Vegas. If that's the case, I would have to believe there are AA meetings all over the place. You might even trip over some without knowing it.

If you want your dignity, respect from your husband, and a clean, sober, happy life, you will have to work for it. Please, please, please find a support group somewhere.

We can give you lots of warm fuzzies her at SR, but we cannot keep you sober. We love you and will support you. But we have no power to keep you from drinking.

There's is one who has all power. Find out where this power is and run to it as fast as you can. You will not be disappointed.

Love you,
Ed

Rowan

I'm glad you made it back, WanderingStar. You're alive, so it's never too late.
((((hugs))))

Rowan

Surlyredhead

Welcomr back Wondering Star, you are so brave to come back, it was harder for me to return when I relapsed(each time) than it was to come here and admit I had a problem in the first place. I am glad you are here.

Cathy

wandering star

It is harder this time. I feel weak.
Thanks for the kind words.
AA is not for me. I've been looking into other groups.

Hope

You can do this. Never give up trying.

karrotop

good morning all.don't beat yourself up over your recent,"slip'...we've all had many....myself included....
respect and trust of your family members will come back,as you remain sober....i quit this time and didn't tell anyone,for the same reason you didn't.....didn't want to dissappoint anyone again......when my daughter ,"discovered" there was no wine in my house last week,she was sooooooooooooo happy and proud of her mom.....THAT made it all worth it!
and,this time,i have learned that we HAVE control over taking the first sip....but,once we make that decision to drink that first glass,we are,"OUT OF CONTROL"......the disease takes over.....and that's what makes us different from our friends who might be able to have a few glasses with dinner,and that's it.
every time you quit,and then slip,you learn something new that will help you the next time....i counted 10 slips for me this past year alone.....and now i am on day #26...
so,don't give up on yourself.....keep trying until you get it right...that's what i'm trying to do......and keep coming here.....

parentrecovers

recovery is possible, blessings, k

Missymae737

Wandering Star,

So glad you made it back here...Keep posting, we are here to help you...

Thinking of you...