My Life Is Over!!!!
 

Hello,

I have stopped drinking for about 13 days and I caved in . I have been so depressed and I am so tired of living life. All I had was three glases of wine tonight and I'm acting like such a drunken slob. I f***** hate MYSELF!.. I have nothing else to live for. My daughter is 16 and She will be fine without me. What else does life have to offer????

Theresa

Theresa,

Your daughter will not be fine without you. I know what it feels like to hate yourself! You can do this - you can stop drinking and get well - you CAN.
Don't be so hard on yourself. Start over. Never give up.

Rowan

It is so hard to start over when all your going to do is give up. It just makes what you do in life easier if there was an easier life too live. This was the first night I had a couple of glasses of wine and all he called me was a drunken slob. I am not going to agree with it anymore?

Theresa, you can change your life and stop drinking. I know it can be done. It took me a long time to get it right too, but you can not give up. Do this for yourself and your daughter.

even a 30 year old girl needs her mother. she is not ok without you.
whoever "he" is is obviously not there for you the way you need.
keep posting...

alcoholism is a hellish affliction to have. it is hell as it is such a daily struggle. give yourself credit for how strong you were during your sobriety. you did that. you stayed sober for that block of time and when i read about your 13 days you are a hero/inspiration to me right now!! don't give up hope and keep posting

Your slip just shows how hard it is to quit. That means you need to have whatever resources it takes to pull you through one day at a time. I practically lived in AA meetings for the first couple of months.

Hang in there!

Hey you- great job on 13 days (It's hard for me to imagine getting that far!!)

I'm on night 3 and struggling- wine is my weakness as well.

Start again tomorrow- Leaving your daughter is not a choice. She'll need you her entire life.

we're all here for you!

HOPE

Hey Bymyself,

it's never over til you say it is...I've tried almost every other week for the past 15 years to quit booze...never made it more than a few days...since coming here, and the amazing support love and advice I've found here, I'm now on day ..er...17 (had to check - rujnning out of fingers !) and I'm holding strong...

you can only be beaten if you stop fighting - I *really* believe that

hope to see you around here
D

ppfftt... knock it off... your life aint over... just needs a little mending...

mine did... started to learn to love myself.. got out of the alky induced depression, and got back the love of my family...

just had to get off my ass to do something about it...

good wishes to ya BMS... you can do it...

xxoo, zip

Hey!! I know where you are, but you haveto keep trying. It took me so long, and so many tries to get sober. Every time I failed i learned at least one thing about staying sober. Today HP willing I will stay sober, but just for this day. Keep coming back, and I hope you find your way.

((((bymyself)))))

Do you know how many times that I have had to dust myself off and pick myself back up? Hum I don't have that many toes or fingers :)

The point being here is that I know how hard you are on yourself. I am the same way. I hated myself for so long and yet these people here loved me! I know today that this deal is doable. I now have the longest clean time since I relapsed in April of 2004! I am grateful that I have put together a few 24's but it isn't easy. I am not one of those people that am going to jump around and say that it is easy because that isn't reality. I have my days but I also know that using won't help it will make me feel worse about myself again and I don't like that feeling.

OK so you relapsed! At least you are alive to tell us that. It would be very selfish to think of suicide I mean you children need you just as much as my children need me. I hope that you pick yourself up again.

With Love And Respect

Vic

Theresa...Please dont think anyone will be alright without you.
You are worth it. You can do this.
I think you just need to quit beating yourself up over it.
$hit happens. So dust yourself off.
But never ever give up and think life is not worth living.
So you F'ed up. Nobody is perfect and we learn by our mistakes.
Whoever is calling you that is very wrong.
You have the will. If you didnt you wouldnt keep trying and keep coming here.
Your reaching out..You just need someone to grab hold of you.
There is help if you want it.
I gave you those numbers.
Stop worrying what others think and do what you need to do for you.
I am only down the road. I know awkward. But Exit 8 is not far from you.
I felt like you did in Dec. I seriously was going to attempt to take my own life. But that ended up being my wake up call.
I am not a quitter and I refuse to cop out like a coward.
If A long time hardcore crack smoker can do this. Honey so can you.
There is so much to live for. And to be sober for.
You just need to find your way I guess.
Remember I am only an IM away and a few exits away.
I'll be thinking of you.

I hope you are feeling better today. It is a beautiful day to be good to yourself, to start anew. 13 days is great, and you will do even better this time! Your daughter definitely needs you... I am 27 and still need my mother. She wants the best for you, too, I'm sure.

bymyself, you are NOT alone, as you can see by the above posts. We have all fallen, me, I have fallen more times than I care to count. It is not easy, but it can be done, your daughter needs you now more than ever! We need you here too, everyone who touches our lives changes us a little, keep coming back and get the love and hope you need to get started again...it is here for the taking...

Cathy

******{Theresa}}}}

You are not by yourself. So many of us have the same problems when it comes to becomoing sober. i felt like like wasnt worth it for the longest time. I almost let myself drink and drug myself to death. I was really close. I had to go to rehab because I was so sick.
I am not gonna lie and tell you once you stop drinking everything will wonderful. It doesnt work that way. Life is hard, but in a sober state the problems are easier to deal. The feeling of hoplessness doesnt have to be a permanent feeling.
Your daughter needs you. You can be happy again. It is hard especially in the beginning, but it gets better. As far as caving in. I had 76 days clean and then fell. I felt like **** and full of guilt, but I pulled myself together and now I am on 6 days clean.
Please dont give up!!
Keep posting. Sr has alot of good people with good advice.
Just dont give up and be kind to yourself.

Well, it certainly offers a lot more than you have on your miind right now. So you stopped drinking for 13 days. That's a miracle for an alcoholic. But what else did you do, tough it out on your own? That's not going to keep you sober. A support group close by with people you can talk to will help immensely.

By the way, saying your daughter will get along just fine without you is a copout. How cruel of you to think that she would be okay. Did you ever stop to think for a minute what her life would be like without you? I suppose not.

Now get off your a$$ and do something about your problem. We will give you all the support you need but as the saying goes.."God only helps those who help themselves."