Fighting yet another fight and am new to this
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 4
Fighting yet another fight and am new to this
I just joined SR and this is my first attempt at reaching out for help. I started with looking up AA meetings in my area and just got completely overwhelmed with the thought of going to a meeting and asking for help.
I have realized that I'm now fighting a new fight. Last year, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and spent a year fighting that (but never went to a support group). During that painful and scary year I became very dependent on drinking to forget, if only for a little while. Now, I'm getting back to a "normal" life but I just can't shake my need for a cocktail, especially when the stresses come. One cocktail turns into many and I spend the next day feeling like I completely blew it, only to wait until 5:00pm when it starts all over again.
I've got to do this for my family, children and my spirit -- I'm just scared to death. Any guidance, words of encouragement? I'm pretty strong but this need to drink is one humdinger.
Does the fear of reaching out for help lessen with time?
I have realized that I'm now fighting a new fight. Last year, I was diagnosed with breast cancer and spent a year fighting that (but never went to a support group). During that painful and scary year I became very dependent on drinking to forget, if only for a little while. Now, I'm getting back to a "normal" life but I just can't shake my need for a cocktail, especially when the stresses come. One cocktail turns into many and I spend the next day feeling like I completely blew it, only to wait until 5:00pm when it starts all over again.
I've got to do this for my family, children and my spirit -- I'm just scared to death. Any guidance, words of encouragement? I'm pretty strong but this need to drink is one humdinger.
Does the fear of reaching out for help lessen with time?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,470
Hi and Welcome,
This is a great place to come for support and inspiration. I think many of us, me included, have turned to alcohol to get through a really tough time, and then found out we have another big problem. And obviously your health crisis was a difficult one.
And, I was absolutely scared too. I couldn't imagine how to get through any of life's ups and downs without alcohol to carry me. But, you can do it. Each time you get through a situation without drinking, you become stronger.
There is lots of support here so take a look around and read and learn.
This is a great place to come for support and inspiration. I think many of us, me included, have turned to alcohol to get through a really tough time, and then found out we have another big problem. And obviously your health crisis was a difficult one.
And, I was absolutely scared too. I couldn't imagine how to get through any of life's ups and downs without alcohol to carry me. But, you can do it. Each time you get through a situation without drinking, you become stronger.
There is lots of support here so take a look around and read and learn.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
Welcome ! Here's a few OTTOMH
Do it for you.
Swallow your pride, reach out and ask for help. It's all but impossible to do it alone. The more self-reliant your are, the harder it is.
AA is not what you probably think it is. Give it a try. You'll be pleasantly surprised.
Be willling to do anything.
Be ready to change. Without change, nothing changes.
Listen.
Follow suggestions given by others who have been there.
Good Luck and God Bless. It ain't easy, but it's SOOOOOO worth it.
Do it for you.
Swallow your pride, reach out and ask for help. It's all but impossible to do it alone. The more self-reliant your are, the harder it is.
AA is not what you probably think it is. Give it a try. You'll be pleasantly surprised.
Be willling to do anything.
Be ready to change. Without change, nothing changes.
Listen.
Follow suggestions given by others who have been there.
Good Luck and God Bless. It ain't easy, but it's SOOOOOO worth it.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
Welcome!!
I admire your tremendous COURAGE!!!!
Coming here and speaking up is excellent!!!
"I've got to do this for my family, children and my spirit".......yes! You & YOUR spirit! The rest will follow for your family.
"I'm pretty strong........"
You know, many of us alcoholics are strong people.
What I found out was, the disease of alcoholism is stronger than ALL of us combined.
Lack of power is my dilemma.........I could not quit on my own.
I tried for decades. I needed help.
For me, that was AA.
Today, the very last thing on my mind is ever to have a drink. I'm sober, and not unhappy about it!
I did not accomplish this on my own. The people in AA reached out and held my hand, and loved me until I could love myself.
Keep coming back!!! Don't quit before the miracle happens!
Tom
I admire your tremendous COURAGE!!!!
Coming here and speaking up is excellent!!!
"I've got to do this for my family, children and my spirit".......yes! You & YOUR spirit! The rest will follow for your family.
"I'm pretty strong........"
You know, many of us alcoholics are strong people.
What I found out was, the disease of alcoholism is stronger than ALL of us combined.
Lack of power is my dilemma.........I could not quit on my own.
I tried for decades. I needed help.
For me, that was AA.
Today, the very last thing on my mind is ever to have a drink. I'm sober, and not unhappy about it!
I did not accomplish this on my own. The people in AA reached out and held my hand, and loved me until I could love myself.
Keep coming back!!! Don't quit before the miracle happens!
Tom
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
NDSN as others have said, it can not hurt to give AA a shot.
If you are worried about the "class" of people in AA meetings you will be shocked, I am a Systems Analyst with a very large Federal Agency, I go to meetings that have lawyers, businessmen, a retired minister along with a mix of every type of person on the face of the earth, AA is just like alcoholism, it knows no boundaries, rich, poor, black, white, young, old, single, married, gay, straight, athiest, Muslim, Christian and Jew. We all have a common bound, alcoholism.
No one understands an alcoholic except another alcoholic, when an alcoholic says "I have to have a drink?" another alcoholic understands that feeling, a non-alcoholic does not. I have found that the best people to help me not drink are fellow alcoholics who have also stopped drinking.\
Go to a few meetings, sit in the back row and don't say a word if you do not want to, if you are asked to share say "No thanks, I am just listening" no one will care because many times they have nothing to say them selfs. The last thing you will find in the rooms of AA is people judging you, there is nothing you have done that at least one or more people there have not done them selfs and in many cases worse.
If you are worried about the "class" of people in AA meetings you will be shocked, I am a Systems Analyst with a very large Federal Agency, I go to meetings that have lawyers, businessmen, a retired minister along with a mix of every type of person on the face of the earth, AA is just like alcoholism, it knows no boundaries, rich, poor, black, white, young, old, single, married, gay, straight, athiest, Muslim, Christian and Jew. We all have a common bound, alcoholism.
No one understands an alcoholic except another alcoholic, when an alcoholic says "I have to have a drink?" another alcoholic understands that feeling, a non-alcoholic does not. I have found that the best people to help me not drink are fellow alcoholics who have also stopped drinking.\
Go to a few meetings, sit in the back row and don't say a word if you do not want to, if you are asked to share say "No thanks, I am just listening" no one will care because many times they have nothing to say them selfs. The last thing you will find in the rooms of AA is people judging you, there is nothing you have done that at least one or more people there have not done them selfs and in many cases worse.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 4
Wow, I'm so touched that perfect strangers took the time to write a few words. The great advice (i.e., swallow your pride, go to a meeting and sit in the back row, and all of the other great messages!) has carried me through another day (Day 2). I believe we're given conflict in order to grow and you folks have my utmost admiration because you've become teachers with souls. Thank you from the bottom of my heart -- I really, really needed to know I'm not alone.
I'm going to a meeting on Friday and will sit in the back row! I'm still scared but I trust your words and experience!
I'm going to a meeting on Friday and will sit in the back row! I'm still scared but I trust your words and experience!
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
NDSN you do not have to sit in the back, sit in the front row if you like. What you will find when you go to that meeting is folks just as caring and understanding as what you have here. If you are like me it will be the first time you sat in a room where everyone know what you are going through and can help you through it. Go a little bit early and prepare to be able to stay a little late.
Last edited by Tazman53; 04-19-2007 at 12:11 PM.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Richmond, VA
Posts: 76
New Day,
Welcome to this forum.
I was terrified about my first AA meeting. I felt so welcomed that my fears were totally abandoned. I am also in Richmond and have found some awesome meetings to go to. I would be happy to meet you and go to a meeting with you if you want. Maybe it would help to have someone to sit with.
If you are interested send me a private message and we can make a plan.
Hugs,
Carol
Welcome to this forum.
I was terrified about my first AA meeting. I felt so welcomed that my fears were totally abandoned. I am also in Richmond and have found some awesome meetings to go to. I would be happy to meet you and go to a meeting with you if you want. Maybe it would help to have someone to sit with.
If you are interested send me a private message and we can make a plan.
Hugs,
Carol
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Pasadena, CA
Posts: 1,539
NewDay! great post, great attitude........
You know, I've been hanging out here for yrs., and while I had no problem walking into AA, I realize many do.
What has certainly helped lots of my friends here, was to picture each and everyone of us being with you.
Right there!, standing next to you, holding your hand, with you in spirit.
Many have reported back, they felt the presence of all their sr.com friends as they journeyed into those rooms.
Stand tall!!! Do it for you, YOU are worth it!
Tom
You know, I've been hanging out here for yrs., and while I had no problem walking into AA, I realize many do.
What has certainly helped lots of my friends here, was to picture each and everyone of us being with you.
Right there!, standing next to you, holding your hand, with you in spirit.
Many have reported back, they felt the presence of all their sr.com friends as they journeyed into those rooms.
Stand tall!!! Do it for you, YOU are worth it!
Tom
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 294
Newday, what I was going to say is pretty much redundant at this point because everyone's already said it! So, listen to the advice of those who posted before me. It definitely can be scary going to AA at first, but after a few meetings, you'll start to recognize people and feel comfortable. It's kind of like going to a new school... you might feel like an frightened freshman at first, but in time AA will feel like home. Give it a shot, you have nothing to lose. Best wishes.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
NDSN... you will be well loved here...
nice to meet ya...
as mentioned... the helping hand of A.A. has saved my (_rz_)...
its can be way more then one would think... give it a whril... wad'a ya got to loose...
wish'n you all the best on your recoverys...
xxoo, zip
nice to meet ya...
as mentioned... the helping hand of A.A. has saved my (_rz_)...
its can be way more then one would think... give it a whril... wad'a ya got to loose...
wish'n you all the best on your recoverys...
xxoo, zip
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