Left behind, although I no longer live in California, I got sober in the San Fernando Valley. Went to all types of meetings all over L.A. from the Barrio (East L.A.), to Woodland Hills, Beverly Hills, and Malibu, and all areas in between, lmao. When I got sober, I had been living the streets my last 1 1/2 years of drinking.

I understand your discomfort and hope with your next job move you find some meetings you will be comfortable in.

I can tell you from my own personal experience, that some of those ex cons that I met in my early recovery, not only got and stayed sober, but today some of them are very successful business people not only in California but elsewhere,they took the 12 steps to heart, and changed their lives.

Recovery takes time. Changing one's life takes time. Some of us upon arrival in AA are sicker than others and it takes longer. Some with court cards will go back out to 'practice' some more. Only problem with that they soon find out, is that a head full of AA and a belly full of booze just don't mix.

In my years of sobriety I have been fortunate in being able to attend meetings all over the United States, and yes even some in the Land Down Under, rofl. However, I have never seen the total variety of meetings that I had access to in the State of California. Gee, maybe they have more alkies than elsewhere, lol.

I truly hope you find what you are searching for.

God Bless.

Love and (((((to all))))),

Thank you for your thoughts and experiences all of you. You too mike. Life is definitely a journey which we learn by living. I'm going to mellow out about this issue. Thought it was important to mention though. Peace.

I hesitate to comment here lest I seem like one of those who thinks of themselves as "better than." I for one am attending meetings right now with folks I have a difficult time identifying with except in matters where alcohol is concerned. I have found that when alcohol and alcoholism is the topic of discussion (as it should be) I have no problem with anyone in the room.

However, and this is a BIG however, I have a very difficult time with people other than alcoholics attending AA meetings. Granted, I got sober when you had to walk 20 miles barefoot through ice and snow to get to school, but the infiltration of other addictions and disorders into AA has become very disturbing to me. While I agree that everyone should have a chance at recovery, and that drug users are probably heading in the same direction but in a parallel lane to mine on the highway, the fact remains that AA is for Alcoholics. As it is stated before almost every meeting at any AA house, "we ask that you confine your comments as they relate to alcoholism." It also also clearly states that "the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking." Not a desire to stop taking pills, not a desire to stop smoking crack, not a desire to stop shooting heroin, but a desire to stop drinking. I have found that in many cases these other addictions, although manifesting themselves in similar ways, are different from Alcoholism and should be addressed in other support groups.

Okay, I've laid it out there and expect the usual repercussions, so fire away. BTW, maybe this discussion should be moved to a thread in the Alcoholism Forum.

"We are people who would normally not mix........"

I go to lots of meetings. Open, closed, speaker, big book, women only. One women's only meeting is filled with suburban housewives, one is filled with seriously well-to-do older women some with 25+ years of sobriety. One open meeting has 200+ people from all walks of life.

Another open speaker meeting is filled with bikers. The bikers are large, scary men with tatoos, covered in leather, bad hair and bad teeth. I went to that meeting for the second time on Sunday. I introduced myself as a newcomer with less than 30 days sobriety. At the break, I had at least 3 bikers come over to me, address me by name, congratulate me on my sober time, indicate that they saw me last week, query me on my plan for sobriety, encourage me, and ask me back next week.

I take something from every meeting I go to. I find that everyone has something to offer. While the meeting with the well-to-do older women may be more comfortable at first, I would be missing a lot if I did not mix and share with the bikers as well.

Just my two cents -

TinLizzy

Sometimes it helps me to try to identify rather than compare. I go to an Ivy League and went to detox in Harlem ... and had one of the most worthwhile experiences of my entire life. Hope you find meetings where you feel comfortable.

LB great question

hey, i asked myself.. hey, zip, you ever break the law... in any way and wasnt caught?... i guess i'm one of the lawbreakers in a meeting...

good wishes on your recovery LB..

xxoo, rz

I had issues relating to "riff raff" in meetings during my first attempt at getting sober. My ignorance at the time clouded the message I wasnt able to hear. I was too busy noticing differences instead of focusing on similarities, and after a short time decided meetings werent for me. fast forward 9 years later and I was the one there, fresh out of prison, no money, no job, but a true desire to get sober. Thank God for SR and those mettings, they saved my life.

I have experienced what Leftbehind related. Here are a few ways to minimize this:

* go to closed meetings only. People "sent" to AA by a judge are more likely just to show up instead of admitting they are alcoholics.

* go to an early meeting, 6 or 6:30am for example. Most professional people serious about sobriety in AA work day hours, and many go to AA before they go to work. The scammers you describe aren't likely to even be out of bed yet.

* As others have said, try multiple meetings/groups.

* If you have a group consious meeting, suggest not signing court or recovery documents. People may be court ordered to attend AA meetings, but no one can order the group to sign the court cards.

How about compassion and carrying the message or did the GC do away with those to?

Kevin

Was my thought when first looked at this thread as well.
Only difference between me and the guy doing 20... he was caught, I wasn't.

i guess i was the riffraff
i was the not so fashionably dressed one walking in with kids to have my paper signed
but i wanted it, and i made it for nine years
i'm just grateful my home group accepted me that way, and didn't look down on me, otherwise, i would not have gone back

i attended an open meeting with my xh. i was horrified at the people i saw there.....was not the "norman rockwell painting" image i had imagined at all. i wasn't about to let my cherished hubs be with "those" people.....which was exactly the seed he had planted in my ever accepting codie mind.

i drug him home and he had the biggest smile on his face you could ever imagine.

well, the next 6 years with my hubs were far more hellish than staying and getting involved with "those" people and the es&h they may have had to offer. we're all the same......we just present differently.

just my experience.....take what you like and leave the rest.

My name is Cathy....and I am a law breaker and riff-raff...well I was anyway, the only difference between THAT me and THIS me is a few 24 hours...I am still an Alcoholic fighting the good fight. I owe my sobriety to the people in the fellowship...good-bad-and indifferent, everyone I have ever met at a meeting has helped me remain sober so far, including here on SR....I am a grateful part of this Motley Crew!!!!! If you look past my appearance, and really listen to my experiences, strengths and hopes, I might help you stay Sober too!!!!

I understand what you mean.
A lot of people also come into recovery not knowing how to do life & are too embarrassed to tell a "normie" so. But can go into the rooms & say "how did you do it?"
Well, felons coming in and out of the rooms loaded aren't going to be much help.
I believe that one of the greatest signs of spirituality is becoming a functional, contributing member of society. It shows maturity & a lack of selfishness.
Basic manners & etiquette, for example, says "hey, I could leave my **** on the floor but then someone else is gonna have to pick it up".
Wanting to find that in the rooms is not a sign of self-righteousness.
If you are in a place that you can be surrounded by people that have little hope and even less to offer, my hat is off to you. You must not need the guidance of another at this point beyond a sponsor and I am impressed.
However, as the OP, I myself am not yet at a place where I can be drained constantly. I just don't have that much to give. And I would like to be surrounded by people who have learned to more than just stay sober and are actually LIVING.
A recent transplant from the Bay Area, I was wondering the same

Hi AVee - this is a 6 year old thread - just letting you know you're not likely to find too many of the original participants around :)

D

left
yea i experienced the same thing as you. i lestened to people who were in prison speak and it did sit in. there might be different meetings in your area to attend. i sort of had a bad experience at one and i never attended that session again.

Ya I realized that after I found this on google.
I'm just wondering where the good meetings are at in OC as well.
Getting up early is great advice, though.
Some of the best meetings I've been to are either at 7 am when everyone is hopeful about the day or 7:30 at night when everyone is bitching about their day at work

I was usually the only one at the meeting without piercings and/or tattoos. When I first went to meetings I was often scared of the people there.

I did eventually find meetings where there would be people who were less "riff-raffy". But you do not find professionals in meetings. At least I did not in well over 50 different groups. I felt really uncomfortable talking about my life to people who were who were trading home remedies because they could not afford to go to the doctor. They were facing life-and-death issues and I was not.

Everyone is supposed to share their success story to show how well the program works and if I shared mine I would feel like I was rubbing it in their faces.

I went into therapy with a recovering addict and that did a lot because his experience was closer to mine.