Increased Drinking
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Vienna, VA
Posts: 8
Increased Drinking
I am 34 years old and starting to realize that I am an alcoholic. My father is a miserable person because of booze, but also has his moments of greatness to offset his bad behavior. He recently admitted to me that he is unable to quit.
I am a cautious, functioning alcoholic. I work, I am successful, I don't drink and drive, and I don't keep a significant other around to abuse. I have great relationships with my friends.
I am aware that I have a choice to stay in this state of drinking (about a 10 beers a night) and not harm anyone but myself, or I would have to get it under control in order to be able to sustain a relationship and/or start a family.
I am just not ready to do it, because I enjoy drinking. I am still convinced that I can cut back and still have alcohol in my life in moderation. I don't want to have to quit completely, but I am aware that it may come down to that at some point. Still waiting for my moment of clarity. Anyone been here?
I am a cautious, functioning alcoholic. I work, I am successful, I don't drink and drive, and I don't keep a significant other around to abuse. I have great relationships with my friends.
I am aware that I have a choice to stay in this state of drinking (about a 10 beers a night) and not harm anyone but myself, or I would have to get it under control in order to be able to sustain a relationship and/or start a family.
I am just not ready to do it, because I enjoy drinking. I am still convinced that I can cut back and still have alcohol in my life in moderation. I don't want to have to quit completely, but I am aware that it may come down to that at some point. Still waiting for my moment of clarity. Anyone been here?
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,505
Hi and Welcome,
You may be right, that you can cut back and moderate your drinking. If so, you are lucky. I tried moderating for quite awhile and it never worked for me. After a few weeks, it would gradually increase again.
One thing I would say is that you think you have a choice to stay at the point you are. Addiction is not like that. There is no steady state, not for very long anyways. It is a progressive disease.
Take a look around and read and learn.
You may be right, that you can cut back and moderate your drinking. If so, you are lucky. I tried moderating for quite awhile and it never worked for me. After a few weeks, it would gradually increase again.
One thing I would say is that you think you have a choice to stay at the point you are. Addiction is not like that. There is no steady state, not for very long anyways. It is a progressive disease.
Take a look around and read and learn.
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
it's nice to meet you, seabass. glad you found us. i have a daughter in first year recovery who tried many times to control/moderate her alcohol intake. she was not successful, and was left just feeling guilty and shameful after binges. she had to make the decision to stop completely. aa really helps her.
keep posting! blessings, k
keep posting! blessings, k
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Backwoods America
Posts: 77
Yep when I was 34 I would drink about 9 cans of beer during the week nights and more on the week-ends...when things are going well that was OK--However when problems came up---my first solution was to drink..I've stopped many times and did fine...The longer you drink the more it takes. I have many friends who are fuctional alcoholics---so it seems... You'll know when something is not right..Getting sober is easy--staying sober is hell...just pondering--sitting here today trying to not drink...Goodluck
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: SAN DIEGO, CA
Posts: 379
Seabass -
Welcome to SR. It's a great place for information, support, and friendship.
I would encourage you to read some of the threads on the Alcoholic Forum. Many, many of us have tried moderation and cutting back only to find that we began to drink more than ever. For some, the moment of clairty did not come until the loss of freedom, employment, relationships, etc.
No one but you can determine where you are on the drinking curve.
Keep reading and asking questions.
TinLizzy
Welcome to SR. It's a great place for information, support, and friendship.
I would encourage you to read some of the threads on the Alcoholic Forum. Many, many of us have tried moderation and cutting back only to find that we began to drink more than ever. For some, the moment of clairty did not come until the loss of freedom, employment, relationships, etc.
No one but you can determine where you are on the drinking curve.
Keep reading and asking questions.
TinLizzy
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,622
Hi Seabass
Welcome to SR.
I am trying to moderate myself and I am not at all sure it will work in the long run . I stick around here because I still know I am in need of friendship and support in this journey. You will find a lot of loving advice and support if you need it. I haven't made up my mind either and that is ok. You can make a decision not to make a decision while you keep trying to find out about it.
I just thought I would say that it sounds like you may be putting some pretty important stuff on hold - family, children, relationship - in order to keep drinking that beer. One of those menu choices is more important than the other.
Welcome to SR.
I am trying to moderate myself and I am not at all sure it will work in the long run . I stick around here because I still know I am in need of friendship and support in this journey. You will find a lot of loving advice and support if you need it. I haven't made up my mind either and that is ok. You can make a decision not to make a decision while you keep trying to find out about it.
I just thought I would say that it sounds like you may be putting some pretty important stuff on hold - family, children, relationship - in order to keep drinking that beer. One of those menu choices is more important than the other.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,056
Glad you're here, Seabass. You might want to check out the book "Under The Influence", at least read the chapter titled The Alcholic which describes the progression of alcoholism.
I was a high functioning alcoholic for a long time. No DUI's (yet), no jail time (yet), wasn't divorced (yet), wasn't abusing my kids (yet), no accidents from drinking (yet), hadn't lost my job (yet), etc. etc.
And then, in a short period of time my drinking accellerated and those "yets" started to happen to me. I gave away my marriage, home, ended up hospitalized a couple times. If I'd quit at your age I'd still have my family left, but I chose to continue drinking until 41 when I had my moment of clarity.
Try attending an open AA meeting, and see if you can recognize any similarities rather than looking for differences. You might surprise yourself.
I was a high functioning alcoholic for a long time. No DUI's (yet), no jail time (yet), wasn't divorced (yet), wasn't abusing my kids (yet), no accidents from drinking (yet), hadn't lost my job (yet), etc. etc.
And then, in a short period of time my drinking accellerated and those "yets" started to happen to me. I gave away my marriage, home, ended up hospitalized a couple times. If I'd quit at your age I'd still have my family left, but I chose to continue drinking until 41 when I had my moment of clarity.
Try attending an open AA meeting, and see if you can recognize any similarities rather than looking for differences. You might surprise yourself.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
