Dee74

some of you might remember I was worried when some of my old drinking buddies came back to town after Easter, particularly one who was especially good at pushing my 'drink' buttons.

Well, he just called and I'm going around to his tomorrow for our customary jam.

Maybe I should have said no, but he's the type who then just call day after day after day after day...until I just give in through exhaustion.

Anyway, I need to have this meeting face to face cos I'm no good at all on the phone.

It'll be day 6 tomorrow (yeehah) I'm feeling strong, I don't have any desire to drink at all, and I know the amazing support I've got from you folks around here has helped a lot in that, and will play a large part tomorrow in helping me get to the point and not dodge around it, as usual:

'I am not drinking anymore. I have a problem. I need you to understand this and support me. Please don't offer me drinks. You're an old mate, and I'm happy to hang out to jam. This is your house and you do what you want - but I want, and I need, to be out the door before you take your first drink of the day/afternoon or whatever.'

OK, it's a little wordy for getting to the point, but you get the idea !

If he can do it, he really is a friend. If not, snikker snak - he's cut.

send me little SR rays of sunshine tomorrow, all !

reports later tomorrow night - his house is a while away - but at least I get to go to the seaside !

peace
D

Raineydae

Good luck, Dee. You're doing a brave thing & you'll never know how you'll feel until you do it.
Remember, that if it gets to much, you can always politely leave. I've had to do that once or twice, even with good old buddies. You see, I want to keep off the drink and so, if I feel uncomfortable, I just have to admit defeat for the day and go do something else. I tell them I'll see them soon. They're usually far too busy drinking, like I used to be, to really worry.
I don't know your friend so I don't know how he's likely to react to you not drinking. I had some great drinking buddies and I do miss them in some ways but a real friendship has to go beyond drink. If yours does, you will soon find out and if not, although it is sometimes a real heartbreaker, better to find out sooner, rather than later.
And congratulations on almost 6 days sober. Avoid that first drink today and you'll have made a week. Wow! That'll be great, huh? Well done, you!

Dee74

Thanks Raineydae,
I think my biggest fear is the reaction too - but I steeled myself tonight and started phoning some of my closest friends telling them about my drinking and what I was doing here. The response was awesome...if my mate tomorrow is anything like the guys I phoned tonight, I'll be fine. If he's not, well, as you say it'll hurt but I'll have to leave.

thanks so much for taking the time out to respond
hope to see you around
D

escape2day

I have way too many drinking friends and not enough non-drinking. I understand how you are feeling. I had quit one time before and actually went out to my "used to be" watering hole and drank pop for 5hrs. I thought everyone would get hung up on me not drinking (they always were so used to buying beers for me) but not one of them said anything. In fact a couple of those pops were bought by the people that usually bought beer for me. In sum what I'm trying to say (at least for me) is that if a friend is really a friend, they might miss you drinking when they are but they still want you around drinking or not--they like you for you.
Good luck today!!! I'm pulling for ya!

lostmdboy

Good luck. It is a dangerous place you are putting your self into. This is a a cunning and baffeling disease. Stay strong!!

Dee74

yeah, thanks mate. It's especially hard when most of my friends are hard-living hard drinking musos as well as being hard living hard drinking Australians - it's part of the ethos with my group.

But I'm glad I rang a few of my mates tonight - their very positive responses have calmed my fears a lot.

I have tried to settle things with this guy before and he has been very defensive, but I think I know a lot more now, and I'm definitely a lot less 'wishy washy' about wanting this to be a permanent thing.

In the end, as a lot of people have said, if he can find it in himself to support me, then great - if he can't, then I can't have him in my life. Sad but true.

thanks again my friend - I'll let you know how I get on
D

Raineydae

Yes, let us know how it goes, Dee. I'm glad we can be here to help. I found out last night that helping others really does help me to help myself. I was a miserable s*** when I got onto the boards; last night but today, I'm feeling a whole lot better, so thank you!

Dee74

Thank you John.

Believe me, I don't, and hopefully won't, forget that for a second ! I literally can't count the number of times I've found myself with a newly empty glass in my hand, thinking 'how the *** did that happen" ?

I worry I may be doing this too soon but, then again, to do it next week takes it close to my patented '2 week itch', so I really think now is as good a time as any...certainly having you folks round me and in my corner is something I've never had before.

peace
D

nogard

Good Luck

Its the first drink that gets us drunk.

Kevin

Dee74

Lots of my friends reckon I'm a miserable s***, on or off the board ! LOL.
But really...I know what you mean about helping others...it's been a while, for me at least. A long while. Feels good to redress some kind of balance.

Thanks again mate, I'll certainly be back later tomorrow to regale all with tales of my day, good or bad. I have a good feeling it'll be the former.

hoping those aren't famous last words...
D

TINLIZZY

Dee -

What a great plan!! Stay strong -

TinLizzy

Dee74

I'll remember that, mate.
Thanks Kevin
D

Dee74

thanks TL
I'll let you all know tonight if it was a great plan or not! LOL.
I'm feeling strong and good and in control though, and not feeling remotely like a drink. I'm feeling (almost) calm, which I think has a lot to do with all the people I've met here. It's a big test, though, and I'm not allowing myself to let down my guard. I want that week sober, dammit ! I hope I've sized myself up right !

see you all tonight
D

Dee74

<drumroll>

Well, folks, I did it ! YES made it through the visit without a problem...

kinda funny in a lot of ways...the first thing my buddy said to me was
'I have about 20 beers in the fridge if you want one'....
'uh, no thanks man, like I said on the phone, I'm not drinking anymore'...
so that was fine...til about 10 mins later...
'I have to go and put some money down on a hot race tip...how bout we have lunch at the pub (bar)'....

I knew it was then I had to stop this, and tell him I was part of SR.

He took it really well - maybe a little too well considering he then spent every opportunity over the next few hours telling me how little he drank these days- kinda spoiled his story though when he cracked open a 6 pack of rum at lunch and, by the time I gave up after glaring at him for an hour or so, was about to go out for his second....he offered me a lift but...uh..declined...and hightailed it outa there...

and yet even on the bus on the way home, when I should have felt triumphant, I just kept thinking about how I usually come home from his place trashed...and I felt wistful about it !

I got over it by the time I got back to my neighbourhood - walked straight past the liquor store and didn't realise til I got home - but I'm actually glad the wistful thing happened...it reminded me how deep this thing has its claws in me, and how so very recently I was in its grasp...it was only last Thursday (it's Wednesday here now) when I fell over drunk on the way to the same liquor store, walked in with head and nose cut, blood streaming...and calmly bought more beer...

On the other hand, I'm just so blown out by how long ago that seems to me now, and how lucky I am to have had this week, and to have met so many great people.

and yeah...probably won't be seeing so much of my mate...it's probably not a good idea to put your head in the lion's mouth too often.

Thanks again to you all for your support on this and everything else this past week or so - really.
D

escape2day

im just standing on the side clapping for you!!!!

i love it that you were past the store before you noticed it!! i have a drive-thru that i go by every day and sometimes i don't make it past on the way home- that is such a hard part for me.

Raineydae

Well done, Dee. I'm so glad to hear you got through it. Great stuff!

parentrecovers

oh, i was hoping this was the outcome - great job! k

Dee74

It's a tough one e2d - there's at least six or seven different stores in walking distance of my house - it's such a socially acceptable thing, especially where I live...but hey ! I just realised I'm seven days sober today, so with the help of great people like you, I (finally) must be doing something right !

again, thanks so much for your support
D

ps love the Calvin icon/avatar/whatever-ya-cal-lit !

Dee74

Thanks Raineydae,
I truly appreciate your support, mate. A little victory in the scheme of things, but still mighty cool !

D

Dee74

I was hoping that too !
thanks K
D