not counting days...counting accomplishments.
 

good morning,and happy holiday to all..I am not counting days anymore,but i think i have been sober for a week and a half now..THIS time....I am not saying anything to anyone,except my therapist, THIS time......because i am tired of dissappointing people,including myself,when i slip up...

I called my kids last night,to wish them a happy easter,and i did it SOBER....may sound like a small thing,but i have a hard time talking to people,even my own children,when i don't have a drink in my hand,or a few drinks in ME.I am a,"solo drinker"...an,"anti social drinker"...which causes me to feel and BE isolated from others...i have never felt comfortable drinking around others...too afraid i would lose,"control"...i always thought drinking alone kept my drinking,"under control"....when,in reality,i was in control of nothing....the alchohol had control over me...it was running and RUINING my life,slowly.

Today,i feel optomistic......but i have felt optomistic before,and have had many more sober days under my belt,and slipped up in an instant....so i have to learn to take one day at a time,one hour,one minute at a time.

To all of the newcomers here......keep coming back....it helps just to know you have a place where you can be honest with others who have been in the same place at any given time...

Happy Holiday!

Thanks for sharing karrotop

karo... a happy holiday to you too... and as you mentioned... "Keep Coming"

xxoo, rz

hi karrotop - great post!

My favorite part - "I called my kids and I was sober" ... good job for you, hon!

Hey Karrotop,
Sounds like we had a lot incommon when we were drinking. I could isolate my self in an entire room of peeps. Now that I think back it was no way to live. I think I isolated for the most part though so people would not knpw how much I drank. I would hide, and lock the door, and pretend I was not home. I was a very sick person. Glad to be on the path of recovery now though.

Hi Karrotop, nice to see you again.

happy Easter, hope3

Hi Karro -

Great work on your accomplishments!

TinLizzy

hi karrotop! welcome back! good to see you again!

karrottop...you have a great attitude......and i hope you are proud of the sobriety you have achieved......a week and a half is no small feat, as i'm sure from your experience you already know........

i always say one minute one hour one day at time, too......good motto......

hugs
ayla

congrats on your clean time :)

Hey Karot. I am new here and it's refreshing to hear about someone who views drinking the same way. I used to drink around people, but got tired of making a fool out of myself. So more and more it became a solo activity for me. Which is so much worse in many ways. The isolation it brings is insanely evil and can really drive you crazy. I am 5 days into sobriety and my house is starting to feel like a home again, rather than a prison. You are doing great. I like how you are taking everything minute by minute. I am doing the same thing. Writing my thoughts down when I have time, and taking ownership of my pain, isolation, and anguish. There really is hope, man, I feel it...