hi everybody
 

Hi Guys

I'm D. I'd really like to share my story - I can't seem to find something like this locally (I'm an Aussie)

I've been binge drinking for 15 years or so...I started as a Uni (college) student....I thought 'hey cool, I can hang out all day and just goof off and get wasted'...y'know typical stupid young guy stuff...

of course pretty soon that was most days, or nights anyway, and I began to enjoy drinking alone more than socially, mostly cos if I was sick or whatever no-one would know...I'd drink beer - 5 or 6 of the big bottles - what we call 'Tallies' or 'long necks' here in Aus - and 2-3 casks of wine a week (the big kind - about 4 or 5 litres, dunno how that compares in Imperial measures, sorry) and a lot of cigarettes and weed besides.

For years now, I've been binging til I get sick, feel like death, make the 'never again' promise, but then I recover and slowly but surely start to think things like "oh, I feel great now, so I guess I overreacted when I was sick", or "look at my friends, I don't drink that much at all" or the everpopular "I haven't drunk for x weeks - I can control my intake and just have a couple now"...

I've been reading a lots of the posts here. I am scared of never drinking again, I am scared of how my hard drinking buddies will take it, but I'm also scared of what I've already done to my body and mind and how things will surely end up if I don't stop.

Now I'm getting older the issue's getting more serious - apart from any organ damage I might have done, I have a physical disability and I've started falling about a bit, well a lot really - nothing serious so far but, because I live alone, everytime I have to think "gee, what would have happened if..."

I've always avoided AA and counsellors and things like that, partly because of my shame, but also because I have pretty severe communication difficulties...I use the net a lot...I'm hoping like heck that this forum might give the support I need...I don;t know why I didn't think of this before but I'm glad I did !

Sorry if this is long, but when you struggle everyday to make yourself understood, I LIVE TO TYPE !

D

D... welcome aboard...

around here you dont have to worry about the shame game...

D hope it doesnt turn into something serious...

see ya around the site...

xxoo, rz

hey rz

I've freaked myself out quite a bit with the falls, so hopefully with that, and this forum, I can start to get on a real recovery curve - 3 days n'counting !

catch you round - thanks
D

Welcome!! I used think "How would I live with out alcohol?", But now I ask how did I live with it. Kepp coming back there is a lot of support here.

Hey Dee,
I hope this site helps you, too. The best thing you can do is stop drinking. I figure from your post you must be about 36. That's how old I was when I quit. Once I did my life really began.

This may sound harsh, but forget about your hard-drinking buddies. They'll just drag you down. Misery loves company. Once I stopped drinking I never heard from any of my drinking buddies again... ever. These were my boys and I thought we were close. Of course maybe I had been such a pain in the neck that they were glad to get rid of me... Whatever...

The point is that sobriety has changed my life. At age 47 (sober since 1996) I am now becoming the man I was meant to be. I've got two kids, a wife, a great job, and prospects for the future. Good prospects. I'm respected in my community and at my job. This is a far cry from the man(child) who was "falling about" all around town - and this with no physical disability to blame it on.

Good luck, Dee and I hope to hear more from you.
Mike in Boston, MA

Welcome to SR Dee!

Like RZ stated....no need to worry about the shame game around here, we pretty much have all been there. Instead, Focus on the positive! 3 Days so far.....AWESOME!!!! One day at a time and before you know it, it will be a week....month...and so on. Keep reading and posting, the support and knowledge you can gain here is incredible!!!!
~HUGS!~ Liss

Hi Dee,

Welcome to SR!

You've found a great place to come for support and inspiration.

You are not alone in being afraid of stopping drinking and how it will affect your life. I was very scared of what my life would be like, what would be left. But, it is so worth it to be able to live a sober life. Sobriety often involves changes in lifestyle and making some hard choices. But, you can do it.

Keep reading and posting.

Hi Dee,

Welcome to SR. Post often and let us know how you are doing. There is great support here.

Also there are at least few other Aussies on the board, I am sure they will check in shortly.

Good luck!

Hi D...There is no judgment here. Just lots of support and people who are just like you or was at one point.
UMM..Who really cares what your buddies think. If they were your real buddies it shouldn't matter.
Keep postin.

I'm normally not very demonstrative, but thank you, really, each and every one of you.

man this is so awesome to wake up and read this stuff ! Not to mention it's day 4, a brilliantly blue sky autumn day outside, and I'm finally feeling 'normal' again.

I am scared about the buddy thing though - (not sure if this should be in the 'men' section)

in a day or so, my usual drinking buddy will be back in town...thankfully my disability doesn't affect my hands, and I'm a musician....so me and this guy play music together, and we usually hang out, mostly cos we both tend to be at home during the day, and we jam....

the problem is, after a drink or six, he's pretty - well I don't want to use the word manipulative, but it fits....even when I've told him I'm not drinking, he'll wait for that glimpse of longing or doubt or weakness or whatever he sees, and then he'll offer me whatever he's drinking, or even beers from the fridge that he's bought for me, and he'll keep asking me if I want one with each new drink he has...

Now I know that no-one can really force me to drink, but the fact remains I've failed in my sobriety more times with him than I've held it.

I've read a lot of the posts today, and you're right - I should cut him out my life, but he's been part of 'The Band' for nearly 15 years now and, right or wrong, the band is important to me (the other guys, even the rock n roll party animals, are no problem).

I've tried to approach him about this loads of times (and even got the other guys to, once or twice) but while he's never physical with me, he gets aggressive and intimidating when he's drunk, which kinds scares me to be honest, and he completely rejects any hint that he's trying to get me to do anything.

any tips on approaching this guy from anyone who's had this kind of thing ?

sorry - heh gotta cut out these long posts :)

Thanks again to everyone - makes me think/hope I might just be a regular, even if I do stumble again sometime

have a great day all !
peace
D

Welcome D -

Congratulations on Day 4. Great work!

If your firends won't listen to "NO", show them the door.

TinLizzy

Hey. Congratulations!
I so agree with what chyinita and tinlizzy are saying. If people can't light you up when you're in the dark, then in the day you might not need them after all.