What's Going On With You Today Part 2
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,473
What's Going On With You Today Part 2
JUST DO IT!!
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Here Or There
Posts: 7,612
Usually don't post a lot anymore but this seems to be a good place to let you know what is going on with me today or should I say the last few days. I have been dealing with my sponsor and helping him to the best of my ability which sometimes doesn't seem like enough at all. He has been flight for life to Lincoln again which is sad, so much pain, his blood pressure was 190 over 120 or something like that which isn't good.
Anyway I just got a word that they are bringing him home tomorrow. The word is also that there is nothing that they can do for him at all
. He has a bad thing called a (SP) anurism which is behind his heart and the specialist says that there is no doctor around that would even attempt to touch this one because of the spot in which it is in. So what the **** is he suppose to just die now. That sounds like what they are saying, the have him in stable condition to take a ride back from Lincoln to here. God I wish there was a miracle out there.
Anyway I just got a word that they are bringing him home tomorrow. The word is also that there is nothing that they can do for him at all
. He has a bad thing called a (SP) anurism which is behind his heart and the specialist says that there is no doctor around that would even attempt to touch this one because of the spot in which it is in. So what the **** is he suppose to just die now. That sounds like what they are saying, the have him in stable condition to take a ride back from Lincoln to here. God I wish there was a miracle out there.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
Im sorry to hear about ur sponsor Vic....
You say u'r helping ur sponsor but that it doesnt
seem like enough at all...
You are helping him more than you know. Ur
clean ans sober today by living the program
that was taught to u by him....
He came into this world like all of us for a
reason....He is here like many of us to help
the next person in recovery by sharing his
own ESH with you and others. Do you know
how rewarding it is to help others as u see
them grow and mature in recovery?
Im sure ur sponsor even tho he's health is
where it is today....he is im sure extremely
grateful for u in his life. Im sure you have
brought much joy to him that will carry on
with him till its time for his Maker to escort
him to the recovery meeting in the sky.
Stay strong buddy...He would want u to.,
dont u think?
Your job now is to share with another
the same thing that was so freely shared
with u ...right?
You say u'r helping ur sponsor but that it doesnt
seem like enough at all...
You are helping him more than you know. Ur
clean ans sober today by living the program
that was taught to u by him....
He came into this world like all of us for a
reason....He is here like many of us to help
the next person in recovery by sharing his
own ESH with you and others. Do you know
how rewarding it is to help others as u see
them grow and mature in recovery?
Im sure ur sponsor even tho he's health is
where it is today....he is im sure extremely
grateful for u in his life. Im sure you have
brought much joy to him that will carry on
with him till its time for his Maker to escort
him to the recovery meeting in the sky.
Stay strong buddy...He would want u to.,
dont u think?
Your job now is to share with another
the same thing that was so freely shared
with u ...right?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
Not sure what to think at this moment as i
get ready to leave for work....First i think
fear is creeping in....let me explain quickly...
10 ys ago i had some fluid seeping in my
right eye causing me to see a dark spot...
come to find out a vessel had burst and it
has to be lasered to stop the leekage.
So i only have the periphial vision i that eye.
Now in my left eye...im seeing a dark circle
foating...its scaring me......
I will go to work as usual to keep my mind
off of it and deal with it this afternoon after
work....
What i will do is beyond me....
I know things happen for a reason....this could
be one of those happenings to make me think
about whats going on in my life and maybe
where i should be,,,,
But since ive bee out of the house since Dec.
and my least is just for 6 months....what if my
spouse doesnt want to take me back....
God knows if put this man thru enough hell
and back....
Ill call him later to talk to him to see what we
can do to resolve this separation...
Remember it was I who wanted to return back
home to Baton Rouge....Maybe this isnt where my
HP really wants me to be....
HELP....I need direction in my uncertain life.
Im hanging in there tho.
Love u SR.
get ready to leave for work....First i think
fear is creeping in....let me explain quickly...
10 ys ago i had some fluid seeping in my
right eye causing me to see a dark spot...
come to find out a vessel had burst and it
has to be lasered to stop the leekage.
So i only have the periphial vision i that eye.
Now in my left eye...im seeing a dark circle
foating...its scaring me......
I will go to work as usual to keep my mind
off of it and deal with it this afternoon after
work....
What i will do is beyond me....
I know things happen for a reason....this could
be one of those happenings to make me think
about whats going on in my life and maybe
where i should be,,,,
But since ive bee out of the house since Dec.
and my least is just for 6 months....what if my
spouse doesnt want to take me back....
God knows if put this man thru enough hell
and back....
Ill call him later to talk to him to see what we
can do to resolve this separation...
Remember it was I who wanted to return back
home to Baton Rouge....Maybe this isnt where my
HP really wants me to be....
HELP....I need direction in my uncertain life.
Im hanging in there tho.
Love u SR.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
Ok, im beginning to get worried....
I am really noticing the dark spot in
my left eye...
It was like the same thing that happen-
ed over 10 yrs ago when i saw my sight
in my right eye begin to darken....
Come to find out, i had a blood vessel
to burst in my eye and it had to be lasered.
Now if this is what is going on in my left
eye, then im in big trouble....
So i called my husband in Houston to let him
know what was going on....well....
He just about told me in a round about way...
that i wanted to move back to Baton Rouge
to be with my AA family....so i should go to
them for help....
If i lose my left eye sight then what will happen
to me....???
So my family seems to be turning on me basically
because i left them.... : ( I guess what goes
around comes around....right?
I know im sick..an alcoholic....and i know i havent
been easy all the time to live with,,,but im not
a mean person....
I think from being raised with physical and verbal
abuse and carrying issues from that time thru out
my marriage....i know i wasnt an easy person to
live with...and then being an alcoholic on top all
that....well ....u put 2 and 2 together.
So my daughter just called to see how i was doing...
and i told her sure u was scared and explained the
situation....She proceeded to tell me about the govt.
helping people that r handicapped....
And also told me that i need to get closer to people
over here so they can help me....
I told her i didnt want to hear it and told her i was
ok and let her go.
I wish i knew why im having so much trouble with
my eyes,,,,
I dont know what to think about anything right now.
I am really noticing the dark spot in
my left eye...
It was like the same thing that happen-
ed over 10 yrs ago when i saw my sight
in my right eye begin to darken....
Come to find out, i had a blood vessel
to burst in my eye and it had to be lasered.
Now if this is what is going on in my left
eye, then im in big trouble....
So i called my husband in Houston to let him
know what was going on....well....
He just about told me in a round about way...
that i wanted to move back to Baton Rouge
to be with my AA family....so i should go to
them for help....
If i lose my left eye sight then what will happen
to me....???
So my family seems to be turning on me basically
because i left them.... : ( I guess what goes
around comes around....right?
I know im sick..an alcoholic....and i know i havent
been easy all the time to live with,,,but im not
a mean person....
I think from being raised with physical and verbal
abuse and carrying issues from that time thru out
my marriage....i know i wasnt an easy person to
live with...and then being an alcoholic on top all
that....well ....u put 2 and 2 together.
So my daughter just called to see how i was doing...
and i told her sure u was scared and explained the
situation....She proceeded to tell me about the govt.
helping people that r handicapped....
And also told me that i need to get closer to people
over here so they can help me....
I told her i didnt want to hear it and told her i was
ok and let her go.
I wish i knew why im having so much trouble with
my eyes,,,,
I dont know what to think about anything right now.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
This is my Horescope today....
You are going to be very busy today!
Expect to take on the role of leader.
Overview: Having this much activity
going on can be just a touch unsettling,
but withdrawing from the scene won't
help anything. Just because something
feels out of sync doesn't mean it'll be
that way forever.
Ill be working today at the bakery, so
im guessing we will be very busy....
As for as what happening with my left
eye and vision....what my horescope
says, i so want to believe it...
If only this person/place/thing would
disappear, your life would be just
perfect -- wouldn't it? Be careful
what you wish for. Getting it could
mean a whole new set of complications
that you'd be better off without.
And complications are there esp. with
my eyes,,,,,
I pray that whatever is going on with
it , wont be too devistation....
I ont want to not be able to see and
have to depend on others for help....
Prayers please.....I so need them....
Love u SR.
You are going to be very busy today!
Expect to take on the role of leader.
Overview: Having this much activity
going on can be just a touch unsettling,
but withdrawing from the scene won't
help anything. Just because something
feels out of sync doesn't mean it'll be
that way forever.
Ill be working today at the bakery, so
im guessing we will be very busy....
As for as what happening with my left
eye and vision....what my horescope
says, i so want to believe it...
If only this person/place/thing would
disappear, your life would be just
perfect -- wouldn't it? Be careful
what you wish for. Getting it could
mean a whole new set of complications
that you'd be better off without.
And complications are there esp. with
my eyes,,,,,
I pray that whatever is going on with
it , wont be too devistation....
I ont want to not be able to see and
have to depend on others for help....
Prayers please.....I so need them....
Love u SR.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
This was my first Saturday to work since 1983.
Today wasnt too shabby in fact....i am liking my
job at the bakery so far as ive just completed my
1st full week there....
Everyone seems to be very nice and helpful....
Dont think ive ever gotten so many friends
in one place so fast....
I am off till Tuesday which is good,,,,,
and Monday I will go to the doctor to
find out whats going on with my eyes.
Just a few minutes ago my husband
surprised me with a visit to sign a paper
to help with the taxes....no it was the
divorce papers...YET...lol
He drove all the way here and left in about
20 minutes...no hugs no nothing....
I told him in a nice way that when he return
to visit to just bring the divorce papers so we
can go our separate ways....
I told him i wasnt gonna fight him for anything...
just take it all and put what he didnt want in a
paper bag....
Of course he said he couldnt do that and that
it would take a few months to get things together,,,,
I just told him to keep it simple....
Why fight him...what good would it do....cause
more stress and hatred....
I think im learning to keep my mouth shut because
it was suggested if i do so then id get more....
hmmmm...at this point i dont care....
Sooo we shall see what will happen down the
road...
Help me to always remember that it is His Will
and not mine forever.
Today wasnt too shabby in fact....i am liking my
job at the bakery so far as ive just completed my
1st full week there....
Everyone seems to be very nice and helpful....
Dont think ive ever gotten so many friends
in one place so fast....
I am off till Tuesday which is good,,,,,
and Monday I will go to the doctor to
find out whats going on with my eyes.
Just a few minutes ago my husband
surprised me with a visit to sign a paper
to help with the taxes....no it was the
divorce papers...YET...lol
He drove all the way here and left in about
20 minutes...no hugs no nothing....
I told him in a nice way that when he return
to visit to just bring the divorce papers so we
can go our separate ways....
I told him i wasnt gonna fight him for anything...
just take it all and put what he didnt want in a
paper bag....
Of course he said he couldnt do that and that
it would take a few months to get things together,,,,
I just told him to keep it simple....
Why fight him...what good would it do....cause
more stress and hatred....
I think im learning to keep my mouth shut because
it was suggested if i do so then id get more....
hmmmm...at this point i dont care....
Sooo we shall see what will happen down the
road...
Help me to always remember that it is His Will
and not mine forever.
Administrator
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,473
I'm sure this must be terribly sad Sharon, to see the end of a long marriage. It's not surprising that things take unexpected turns, looking at the ending of your marriage must be sad.
It is however, new beginning for you and it sounds like your new job is working out well.
It is however, new beginning for you and it sounds like your new job is working out well.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
Thanks Anna....i appreciate ur kind words....
In a marriage this long...there history...we both
have been thru different stages in our marriage
just like most...
And then with me in recovery and us relocating
and kids and jobs and money problems and not
being happy and ups and downs and on and on...
There r all different stages of a marriage and we r
going thru one now....if we stay together there
will be many more to come....
Anyway...
I really do like it here in Baton Rouge...And i do like
my job so far...i like the people i work with ...i like
my apt,,,,,..im not sad at all for being here...
As far as being close to anyone here...my parents
r in WBR and i havent seen them in a long time...
Why...well...they do know im here in BR living and
think i have my bank job....they dont know im not
there any longer....
I know if i call them and tell them what im up to and
now to take on problems with my eyes again ...they
will surely say i told u so and i should go back to
houston and be with my husband....
Some have already voiced their thoughts on that...
I must be crazy for leaving a good man....
Has he been a good man or have i been to sick
and blind to see that after 24 yrs.....I cant deny
that i have not always been an easy person to
live with....but i have tried to become better with
recovery...and it has helped...but it takes time...
What is it...progress and not perfection....
Why wasnt i able to go out and do all the things
i have accomplished here in BR since Dec. back in
Houston while i was there for 10 yrs....?
I could have gotten an apt...there and another
job etc.....and it never happened....
I just thought id have more connections here
to help me...and my AA is here for noon meetings
which i like...and just everything here but my own
immediate family...sad to say....
Now with this new twist in my life again with my other
eye now....what am i to expect...will i become
handicapped...????
I dont want to have to depend on others...i want to
be able to stand on my own two feet and make
something of whats ife of my life....
TGhe uncertainty of what lies around the corner does
scare me....
Anyway....
I appreciate this place to come share whats going
on with me in my life....
Thanks for letting me share here.
In a marriage this long...there history...we both
have been thru different stages in our marriage
just like most...
And then with me in recovery and us relocating
and kids and jobs and money problems and not
being happy and ups and downs and on and on...
There r all different stages of a marriage and we r
going thru one now....if we stay together there
will be many more to come....
Anyway...
I really do like it here in Baton Rouge...And i do like
my job so far...i like the people i work with ...i like
my apt,,,,,..im not sad at all for being here...
As far as being close to anyone here...my parents
r in WBR and i havent seen them in a long time...
Why...well...they do know im here in BR living and
think i have my bank job....they dont know im not
there any longer....
I know if i call them and tell them what im up to and
now to take on problems with my eyes again ...they
will surely say i told u so and i should go back to
houston and be with my husband....
Some have already voiced their thoughts on that...
I must be crazy for leaving a good man....
Has he been a good man or have i been to sick
and blind to see that after 24 yrs.....I cant deny
that i have not always been an easy person to
live with....but i have tried to become better with
recovery...and it has helped...but it takes time...
What is it...progress and not perfection....
Why wasnt i able to go out and do all the things
i have accomplished here in BR since Dec. back in
Houston while i was there for 10 yrs....?
I could have gotten an apt...there and another
job etc.....and it never happened....
I just thought id have more connections here
to help me...and my AA is here for noon meetings
which i like...and just everything here but my own
immediate family...sad to say....
Now with this new twist in my life again with my other
eye now....what am i to expect...will i become
handicapped...????
I dont want to have to depend on others...i want to
be able to stand on my own two feet and make
something of whats ife of my life....
TGhe uncertainty of what lies around the corner does
scare me....
Anyway....
I appreciate this place to come share whats going
on with me in my life....
Thanks for letting me share here.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Just catching up with all of this today. We had my youngest sons b'day party at the movies with his little friends... The Teenage mutant Ninja Turtle movie. It was fun but let's just say I'm glad it's over lol!
Sharon, I'm sorry you're having problems with your eyes. That must be scary... I can't imagine.
Good about the bakery... sounds like it's working out. I may have to get an order in for some cannoli. The Sopranos is starting again on Easter and I have to have something Italian for dinner & dessert.
I don't have any advice about your husband, nor do I think you asked
. I'm thinking of you though and hope whatever happens, is for the best.
Sharon, I'm sorry you're having problems with your eyes. That must be scary... I can't imagine.
Good about the bakery... sounds like it's working out
. I may have to get an order in for some cannoli. The Sopranos is starting again on Easter and I have to have something Italian for dinner & dessert.I don't have any advice about your husband, nor do I think you asked
. I'm thinking of you though and hope whatever happens, is for the best.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
Thanks GT....Mutant Turtles...Michael Angelo...lol
My son was crazy about them turtles way back when....
Im glad they and u had a good time....wonderful
memories....
Canoli's from New Orleans are the best....There's
a place here that sells the same ones from N.O.
but since the hurricane production of them had stopped
till they start it up again....
We do carry some at our bakery and havent tried them
yet....ill have to check them out soon huh?
Anyway.....
Id be curious as too see what is next in line for my life.
Im hanging in there tho.
Thanks GT for sharing ur day with me too,,,,,
A good day huh?
My son was crazy about them turtles way back when....
Im glad they and u had a good time....wonderful
memories....
Canoli's from New Orleans are the best....There's
a place here that sells the same ones from N.O.
but since the hurricane production of them had stopped
till they start it up again....
We do carry some at our bakery and havent tried them
yet....ill have to check them out soon huh?
Anyway.....
Id be curious as too see what is next in line for my life.
Im hanging in there tho.
Thanks GT for sharing ur day with me too,,,,,
A good day huh?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
Been up since 5:30 6ish this morning.....I had my coffee,
pulled myself together, made a trip to the store and washed
my car....oh and vacuumed the floor and cleaned my little
love birds cage.
As i rode around town this morning, the streets were light with
traffic and just a clamness of a new day....
I could see the beautiful colors of Azaleas blooming to
welcome a new season of Spring....Just lovely.
Tomorrow im off to the doctors for an evaluation on
my eyes....i only hope and pray that whatever is
going on with them that it wouldnt hurt my ability
to work and live by myself.....
I Hope u r having a nice day SR.
pulled myself together, made a trip to the store and washed
my car....oh and vacuumed the floor and cleaned my little
love birds cage.
As i rode around town this morning, the streets were light with
traffic and just a clamness of a new day....
I could see the beautiful colors of Azaleas blooming to
welcome a new season of Spring....Just lovely.
Tomorrow im off to the doctors for an evaluation on
my eyes....i only hope and pray that whatever is
going on with them that it wouldnt hurt my ability
to work and live by myself.....
I Hope u r having a nice day SR.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
Ok, so far this morning Ive gone to my
general physician,,,,,,for the first time
since moving back here to Baton Rouge.
You know when u relocate, u have to
start all over again...new doctors dentists,
job, residence....
Well from there i am refered to an Optho-
moligist...for further diagnoises on my
eyes....That apt. is at 1:30....
So i have a little time to get a bite to eat
and freshen up before a long afternoon....
Since ive gone thru this before with
my right eye...they have to inject dye
into my veins in order to take pictures
of my eye to see further in ther...
The dye is yellow and im allergic to the
dye in which if i dont take benedryl then
I will itch to death....oh and my pee will
be a bright yellow color.... lol
Since i am on my own,,,,i pray i can make
it back to my apt which isnt far away and
return to work tomorrow safely.
Hey, i can handle all that if it means that
my vision is treatable and is saved so
i can live and work on my own....
Please keep me in ur prayers as I hope
the results of their findings this afternoon
is positive.
Thanks SR for letting me share with u .
general physician,,,,,,for the first time
since moving back here to Baton Rouge.
You know when u relocate, u have to
start all over again...new doctors dentists,
job, residence....
Well from there i am refered to an Optho-
moligist...for further diagnoises on my
eyes....That apt. is at 1:30....
So i have a little time to get a bite to eat
and freshen up before a long afternoon....
Since ive gone thru this before with
my right eye...they have to inject dye
into my veins in order to take pictures
of my eye to see further in ther...
The dye is yellow and im allergic to the
dye in which if i dont take benedryl then
I will itch to death....oh and my pee will
be a bright yellow color.... lol
Since i am on my own,,,,i pray i can make
it back to my apt which isnt far away and
return to work tomorrow safely.
Hey, i can handle all that if it means that
my vision is treatable and is saved so
i can live and work on my own....
Please keep me in ur prayers as I hope
the results of their findings this afternoon
is positive.
Thanks SR for letting me share with u .
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,236
Hello SR...
Well after 3 different stops and visits
to eye doctors today...i am home safe
and sound.
My first stop was to my general physician.
Second stop was to the optomotrist....
Third was to the eye specialist...
My eyes were poked at, blinded by
the brightest lights and my arm drew
in dye in order for them to take
pictures of my inner eyes....
Come to find out i had fluid leaking
from several small blood vessels,,,,
It wasnt the same thing that happened
to my right eye....but still maybe in time
it could cause more damage than
necessary...
So they lasared the small vessels....
right there in the office.
This that has happened to my eye is
common for people at my age....they
dont know exactly what causes this to
happen..it just does...
Anyway....the dialation in my eyes is still
wearing off as i write here now....
SR i am soooo relieved. Im so grateful for
the outcome....you know i went into today
not knowing what to expect...but i followed
thru and remained calm and positive,,,,
Truely my HP and my Mother Mary were
with me thru out the day...ever guiding me
and keeping me safe....
My sight is a gift and I will take care of
it to the best of my abilty.
Thank you SR for ur thoughts and prayers.
Well after 3 different stops and visits
to eye doctors today...i am home safe
and sound.
My first stop was to my general physician.
Second stop was to the optomotrist....
Third was to the eye specialist...
My eyes were poked at, blinded by
the brightest lights and my arm drew
in dye in order for them to take
pictures of my inner eyes....
Come to find out i had fluid leaking
from several small blood vessels,,,,
It wasnt the same thing that happened
to my right eye....but still maybe in time
it could cause more damage than
necessary...
So they lasared the small vessels....
right there in the office.
This that has happened to my eye is
common for people at my age....they
dont know exactly what causes this to
happen..it just does...
Anyway....the dialation in my eyes is still
wearing off as i write here now....
SR i am soooo relieved. Im so grateful for
the outcome....you know i went into today
not knowing what to expect...but i followed
thru and remained calm and positive,,,,
Truely my HP and my Mother Mary were
with me thru out the day...ever guiding me
and keeping me safe....
My sight is a gift and I will take care of
it to the best of my abilty.
Thank you SR for ur thoughts and prayers.
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