undertheseas

Hi, my name is Shonda. I'm 5 months sober but new to these forums. I don't know where else to post this question so here it goes:

has anyone had a sponsor all to themselves and then got jealous when that sponsor picked up an additional sponsee? i can't talk about it with my sponsor because she thinks i'm just trying to start a fight. the problem is my sponsor and I have become really close friends as well... so it is hard I'm sure to take off the friend hat and get into sponsor mode, and vice versa. But I'm working my steps and I don't want another sponsor. my sponsor knows me better than anyone ever has. she pretty much knows everything about me and my ways. i just don't know what to do or what i am asking for, really. i sometimes think i've outgrown my sponsor and my group because i hear the same **** over and over and over. i've been going to the same group since June 2006.

TryingisDying

Maybe you need to try some new meetings.....I know people who have two sponsers ...

laurie6781

There is a great pamphlet at many meetings about sponsorship. Gives a great overall view of what is to be expected of a sponsor and sponsee. I would suggest you get it and read it.

I was great friends with my sponsor. She had other sponsees when I asked her to sponsor me. She and her husband played many roles in my life. Sponsor, Devil's Advocate, parents, siblings, friends, etc.

I would also suggest that you 'branch out.' It is wonderful that you have a "home group" and yes attend it every week. However, attend other meetings of all types, speaker, step study, discussion, women's meetings, etc.

When I got sober, I was 'sicker than others' rofl, and for my first year or so I attended a minimum of 10 meetings a week. Obviously my home group only met once a week.

Also, I would suggest that you get lots, and I do mean lots of phone numbers. You never know when your sponsor may be unavailable and you NEED to talk with someone RIGHT NOW. It does happen.

Congrats on your 5 months.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing, we do care.

Love and hugs,

Anna

Hi and Welcome,

I'm glad you found us.

Jersey Nonny

I think Laurie said it all. I changed sponsors and homegroups a few times, until I found the most comfortable combination for me. But, I never separated from a sponsor or homegroup until I was certain the direction I wanted to go...in other words, don't burn any bridges before you're absolutely ready to do so.

You can have more than one sponsor...you should branch out to many meetings with only one home group. Keep your network intact...just add to it.

Kellye C

Hi Shonda and big hugs. There are lots of people with here with lots of time and knowledge. I hope you find the answers that you are looking for. You know I love you and call me if I can help.

If it helps, Steve and I have been going through the same thing somewhat. There are plenty of other meetings and it sure can't hurt to try something new. You don't have to fire a sponsor but there is no rule saying you only have to have one. Same with groups.

You are doing really good and we are pulling for you. If I can help you with other places to check out give me a call or shoot me an e-mail.

Hugs,
Kellye

redTara

You could look at as an opportunity to grow. Why are you jealous? What processes are taking place inside your head that are giving you a hard time about this situation? I have gone through periods where I thought my sponser didn't like me anymore and really it was about me not being able to express and talk about my fears regarding whether I was worthy of even having a sponser or I'd expect her to be able to read my mind. So...there's lots of learning when we come up against anything that makes us uncomfortable or unsure. Sponsers are human and alcoholics too, and I've tended to forget that. Perhaps, it's an opportunity to develop some compassion for her and look at your own fear or processes at work. I bet there's a great chance for growth and development.
good luck.

undertheseas

Thank you Kellye. I'm going to email you. Had a cRaZy day today. Almost relapsed.

Jersey Nonny

Ah...but, you didn't! You must be doing something right!