putting it out there
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: mommyland
Posts: 324
putting it out there
Hi Everyone!!
I am a Mom of a 5yr old and a 7 month old, I used to love my wine, so much that i was having blackouts 3-4 times a week, but I love myself and my kids more, so I came here, and it has been extremely helpful!!
I am a regular on the mommy thread, and have met the most wonderful, helpful women(and men) ever.
Here is my problem... I have not completely stopped, I started this quest in Jan, I have had 2 blackouts(which is obviously much better) since then, I used to drink every day, now I have much longer stretches and drink much less...but , that is not where i want to be, moderation is not what I am looking for(at least not the moderating I am doing) I want to quit for good.
I was looking for anyone who has any suggestions on where to go from here, has anyone ever been where i am at??
Any ideas would be greatly appreciated
Thanks!!
I am a Mom of a 5yr old and a 7 month old, I used to love my wine, so much that i was having blackouts 3-4 times a week, but I love myself and my kids more, so I came here, and it has been extremely helpful!!
I am a regular on the mommy thread, and have met the most wonderful, helpful women(and men) ever.
Here is my problem... I have not completely stopped, I started this quest in Jan, I have had 2 blackouts(which is obviously much better) since then, I used to drink every day, now I have much longer stretches and drink much less...but , that is not where i want to be, moderation is not what I am looking for(at least not the moderating I am doing) I want to quit for good.
I was looking for anyone who has any suggestions on where to go from here, has anyone ever been where i am at??
Any ideas would be greatly appreciated
Thanks!!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 1,768
Hiya pookie!
I havent, but I wanted to pop my head in and say hi anyway!!
With me, it was all or nothing. Moderation never worked for me, not even for a day. It was like a tease for me I guess. It's the "always want what you cant have" thing. for me anyway.
I'll keep you in my prayers!! hugs!
I havent, but I wanted to pop my head in and say hi anyway!!
With me, it was all or nothing. Moderation never worked for me, not even for a day. It was like a tease for me I guess. It's the "always want what you cant have" thing. for me anyway.
I'll keep you in my prayers!! hugs!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,444
Hi Pookie,
I had a really hard time stopping too. I would get to 3 days and cave in, and then I'd get to 3 weeks and drink again. It's hard and you have to really want it. I actually found it such a relief to quit and to not think about the 'when will I next drink' question. When it became not an option to drink, it was easier for me to deal with.
My suggestion would be to stop. Then, change your routines. That's what worked well for me. I made specific plans to be doing something different during the times when I would have been drinking. I walked in different areas, whatever it took.
It sounds like you've come a long way and you can do this!
I had a really hard time stopping too. I would get to 3 days and cave in, and then I'd get to 3 weeks and drink again. It's hard and you have to really want it. I actually found it such a relief to quit and to not think about the 'when will I next drink' question. When it became not an option to drink, it was easier for me to deal with.
My suggestion would be to stop. Then, change your routines. That's what worked well for me. I made specific plans to be doing something different during the times when I would have been drinking. I walked in different areas, whatever it took.
It sounds like you've come a long way and you can do this!
Hope3
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Upstate, NY
Posts: 2,155
Hi pookie, I think you can find alot of good information on the stickies
on the alcoholism forum.
their are different recovery programs listed, and information on what to exspect when quitting....
If you are an alcoholic, and I have no idea if you are or aren't...
there is many studies and documentation that an alcoholic can't
moderate, it always turns into more...
Good luck, and keep comming backkkk, hope3
on the alcoholism forum.
their are different recovery programs listed, and information on what to exspect when quitting....
If you are an alcoholic, and I have no idea if you are or aren't...
there is many studies and documentation that an alcoholic can't
moderate, it always turns into more...
Good luck, and keep comming backkkk, hope3
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 1,622
Hi Pookie,
Same as TJ. I just want to say hi and welcome.
The people here are great and we have all been there done that.
You say moderation is not what you want. That sort of points in one direction really.
So hi and welcome and happy sticky reading.
Same as TJ. I just want to say hi and welcome.
The people here are great and we have all been there done that.
You say moderation is not what you want. That sort of points in one direction really.
So hi and welcome and happy sticky reading.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: MA.
Posts: 1,719
Hi Pookie and welcome to SR,
Moderation never worked for me either. Yes, a few drinking episodes, and I did not get sloshed, however those times did not last. Sooner or later, blackouts, broken bones, black eyes, bruises, and horrible guilt would follow.
Keep posting here. There is a lot of great info and wonderful friends.
Moderation never worked for me either. Yes, a few drinking episodes, and I did not get sloshed, however those times did not last. Sooner or later, blackouts, broken bones, black eyes, bruises, and horrible guilt would follow.
Keep posting here. There is a lot of great info and wonderful friends.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
Hi again pookie 
. How's it going this morning... good I hope. Do you have any plans today? I found that keeping busy with family outings during the weekends really helped break the cycle of drinking at those times. I wouldn't be drinking at the zoo or aquarium etc.
. How's it going this morning... good I hope. Do you have any plans today? I found that keeping busy with family outings during the weekends really helped break the cycle of drinking at those times. I wouldn't be drinking at the zoo or aquarium etc.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: mommyland
Posts: 324
Hi Gypsy-Yes , keeping busy is huge for me, but it has been harder to get out with the baby, Fri nights are easy, we have family movie night, calm , relaxing evening, but tomorrow I am hosting a big party because friends of ours are coming from out of town, I am really unsure about that
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Finding out what I have been missing!
Posts: 1,011
Pookie, for me I just finally got fed up with myself, I did a great job moderating when i didn't drink to much lol.
I was only kidding myself, little by little the drunks got closer together, the guilt got worse and deep down I knew I was letting booze destroy myself and my family.
I have hosted many parties, I agree with gypsy, sober works better... have something with you to drink, and you''ll be surprised how many people won't even notice.. and if the ask. tel them you'll grab something a little later... it took me about 6 month before i felt comfortable enough to say I don't drink.... some people look at me like I have three heads... others are relieved..
It gets easier, hang in there!
I was only kidding myself, little by little the drunks got closer together, the guilt got worse and deep down I knew I was letting booze destroy myself and my family.
I have hosted many parties, I agree with gypsy, sober works better... have something with you to drink, and you''ll be surprised how many people won't even notice.. and if the ask. tel them you'll grab something a little later... it took me about 6 month before i felt comfortable enough to say I don't drink.... some people look at me like I have three heads... others are relieved..
It gets easier, hang in there!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: road to recovery
Posts: 1,689
hi honey! it's easy. you just quit...
i quit. then i quit again. then i quit again. then i tried drinking only on weekends. then i quit. then i quit. then i tried drinking only on "special occasions." then i quit. then i got pregnant and quit. then i only had one once and awhile. then i quit. then i quit again. then i really quit. then i got pregnant again. then i drank only on weekends. then i drank only wine. then i quit.
oh yeah. i forgot to punctuate the above with the many blackouts, arguments, suicidal thoughts, depression, embarrassment, guilt and whatever other craziness i caused during that time.
repeat the above over and over for about 10 years.
one day, i woke up and i quit. again. what was different this time was that i told myself, three other people and SR that i was alcoholic. i went to AA. i went to therapy. i had no where to go but to try. so far, this quit has lasted more than 200 days and i'm still sober (by the grace of hp, my sponsor, family and friends). i read all i can. i drink limeade. i go to meetings. i talk to my sponsor. i pray for willingness. i try. each day.
don't know what else to tell you. don't know why i woke up and said "enough." but it was time. i am so glad i did.
you will know when it is your time. you can do it. i know you can.
i quit. then i quit again. then i quit again. then i tried drinking only on weekends. then i quit. then i quit. then i tried drinking only on "special occasions." then i quit. then i got pregnant and quit. then i only had one once and awhile. then i quit. then i quit again. then i really quit. then i got pregnant again. then i drank only on weekends. then i drank only wine. then i quit.
oh yeah. i forgot to punctuate the above with the many blackouts, arguments, suicidal thoughts, depression, embarrassment, guilt and whatever other craziness i caused during that time.
repeat the above over and over for about 10 years.
one day, i woke up and i quit. again. what was different this time was that i told myself, three other people and SR that i was alcoholic. i went to AA. i went to therapy. i had no where to go but to try. so far, this quit has lasted more than 200 days and i'm still sober (by the grace of hp, my sponsor, family and friends). i read all i can. i drink limeade. i go to meetings. i talk to my sponsor. i pray for willingness. i try. each day.
don't know what else to tell you. don't know why i woke up and said "enough." but it was time. i am so glad i did.
you will know when it is your time. you can do it. i know you can.
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,787
A Program and changing your habits entirely. For me that meant looking carefully and where I went, with who and for what reasons.
If you want it then recovery has to be No. 1 before everything else and I mean everything.
Good luck.
Kevin
If you want it then recovery has to be No. 1 before everything else and I mean everything.
Good luck.
Kevin
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