concolor1

And I've been sober a helluva long time and walked through way more than my share of dysfunctional relationships.

My compliments to everyone who posted and I hope I can offer some encouragement to lovecat as well. No matter how bad or painful things are, jumping back into the bottle will only make things worse. It's a recovery tool to be able to "think the drunk through" and realize you'd only be exchanging a painful and difficult situation for an intolerable and impossible one.

I faced a similar choice early in my recovery when I was unceremoniously dumped a few weeks after I stopped drinking. I'd done enough to warrant it, but the lady had significant stuff of her own (that she wasn't about to look at), and that was what was driving her, not my situation.

The choice boiled down to "Was I willing to stay sober for myself and be willing to go to any length toward that end."

So far so good on that one . . .

I bought into a lot of the "hairshirt of guilt" as a recovering alcoholic that I don't think I needed to in looking back. In finally "letting go," however, I suspect it took everything that happened before I would quit picking up that hot iron . . .

You deserve a lot better than you're being handed right now, but for some us, this sort of "baptism by fire" tests our mettle . . .

The program is more than an adequate design for living that is up to the task . . .

I wish you well . . .

concolor1

And I've been sober a helluva long time and walked through way more than my share of dysfunctional relationships.

My compliments to everyone who posted and I hope I can offer some encouragement to lovecat as well. No matter how bad or painful things are, jumping back into the bottle will only make things worse. It's a recovery tool to be able to "think the drunk through" and realize you'd only be exchanging a painful and difficult situation for an intolerable and impossible one.

I faced a similar choice early in my recovery when I was unceremoniously dumped a few weeks after I stopped drinking. I'd done enough to warrant it, but the lady had significant stuff of her own (that she wasn't about to look at), and those were what were driving her, not my situation.

The choice boiled down to "Was I willing to stay sober for myself and be willing to go to any length toward that end."

So far so good on that one . . .

I bought into a lot of the "hairshirt of guilt" as a recovering alcoholic that I don't think I needed to in looking back. In finally "letting go," however, I suspect it took everything that happened before I would quit picking up that hot iron . . .

You deserve a lot better than you're being handed right now, but for some us, this sort of "baptism by fire" tests our mettle . . .

The program is more than an adequate design for living that is up to the task . . .

I wish you well . . .