Can't get it together
 

I am a 42 year old alcoholic. My drinking is not like a normal alcoholic - yet - so in that I guess I am fortunate. I will go for a week or two without a drink, but then I can't stop myself from getting drunk. I don't drink, I get drunk. Last night I drank a fifth of 94 proof bourbon in about 5 hours. Nothing to it.

Today I feel like an idiot for drinking last night. I have a great life. I have a beautiful family and good career. If I don't stop I will ruin all of this. Alcohol is wrecking my body. Once fit and athletic, I am now fat and achey because of alcohol.

I am sure that if I could go 3 weeks without drinking that I would crave it less. How do I go 3 weeks? Today I feel committed. By Saturday my resolve will weaken and I will be thinking about liquor again. Thinking and thinking and thinking. How do I unobsess?

Hi and Welcome,

What worked for me to get through the first three weeks was planning, planning and more planning. If you know when you're going to have a problem with craving, plan to be doing something completely different at that time. Changing patterns and routines is what worked for me.

As for the obsessing thoughts which consumed my mind - as soon as I accepted that I would not be able to drink again, they diminished almost completely. It was only when I clung to the belief that I would be able to drink again some day, that I obsessed.

I can relate to exactly where you are at Can't. I joined this site in 2005 but did not post until yesterday myself. I don't drink everyday. I don't ALWAYS crave alcohol. EVERYtime I do drink though, there is not enough beer/vodka whatever on the planet to satisfy me. I drink and drink and drink until function goes out the window and my world collapses around me. This has been going on since I have been married for 11 years or so at least once a month and as often as multiple times a week depending on where my head is at.

I not an expert. I have avoided much information for fear of what I might find out. What I do know though is that alcoholism is a progressive disease. The sooner we come to grips with the requirement of sobriety, the less damage we do to ourselves and those who care about us.

For me, I can't stay sober for three weeks. But I can stay sober, just for today. Just for today, I use the tools that were taught to me in my program of recovery (AA) to stay away from one drink for one day. Each day I do the same thing to have a defense against one drink. That's all I have to focus on. Eventually, back to back days became time, experience, and recovery, and the obsession for alcohol has been lifted. But there was work to be done.

Forget about yesterday. You can't change it. But you can change today...

Hi Cs first of all a big hurray for your first post ....... I find hard to go for just one day ..... i think im a functioning alcoholic & hold down a good job but i know that WILL change if i dont sort it out ...... the advice on here is soooo spot on & i know it will work just keep on posting & keep trying as i will to ...... I understand that it takes a few goes before success ... why dont you hop on the newbe bus thread its great & a real laugh .... we are all in this together

Loads of hugs
lovecat

Alcoholics can be binge drinkers...remeber One Day at a Time for the days that are good and One moment at a Time for the bad days...You CAN do this

Hi :)
Glad you found us, welcome!!

We all thought we were different. Myself included.

You can't do this on your own. No amount of will power can overcome it. If you're like I was, you'll dis-regard this post and go out and try it your way. I did. I didn't work.

AA is what helped me, and I highly recommend it. Set aside any pre-conceived notions you have about it, they're probably wrong.

It helped me.

Good luck and God Bless.

I too could use off and one - managing to quit for a week or two but I found as my addiction progressed the smaller the amount of time I could stay clean. The using finally took over my life and came to the point where i could not stay clean for even 1 day. I accept that I cannot use successfully so don't even bother with the one-It is NEVER going to be enough.

Thanks for the replies everyone. Sorry I used the expression "normal alcoholic" - poor choice of words that. I think I was still metabolizing last night's bourbon when I typed that post this morning. It is more correct to state that I am a binge-drinking alcoholic. When I drink, I drink until I pass out, and lately this is once or twice a week... only in the evenings.

I concluded that I was an alcoholic about two years ago. I was having a physical checkup and the doctor inquired as to my drinking habits. I gave her the "lite" version of the true story and she still insisted that I be evaluated for alcohol dependence. God bless her, she was very persistent, calling me back several times to encourage me to seek treatment. She caught me hung over one morning and I agreed.

I attended a 2 week, 8 hours a day class on alcohol abuse, and by the second day I realized I was an alcoholic. I met 6 of the 7 criteria.

When that class ended, I attended some AA meetings for the next several months. I went to about 70 meetings, trying out 8 or 9 different groups. Of all the stories I heard at these meetings, none of them matched my own. Everyone there had a much worse relationship with alcohol than I had. Drinking daily, drinking at work, losing jobs, losing families, financial ruin, etc. I could not find an AA group that I could relate to. In the end I found it counter-productive for me. It was convincing me that my drinking was not so bad, because by comparison it was not.

I was sober for several more months, but a trip to Las Vegas ended that. My plan was to drink in Vegas, and then come home and resume my sobriety. We see how well that plan worked out, eh?

OK, enough history. Today was interesting. I met my boss at about 11:00 this morning and he asked me if I had drank my breakfast. I had not, but apparently I still stunk from the night before. This led to an unplanned and uncomfortable discussion where I admitted I was an alcoholic and described my drinking pattern to him. He was decent about it, and encouraged me to get help to beat it.

What are the alternatives? I haven't ruled out AA. They are certainly available and have helped millions, but I am not sure they can help me - but are there other options besides AA? Something that might be a better fit for me?

Thanks

It sounds like your boss is giving you an opportunity to prove yourself.

Yes, there many ways to stop drinking and whatever works for you is what works for you:

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-programs.html

C'an't stop', try going to a meeting a look for the similarities, not the differences.

In other words, once you start, you can't stop ? There's a similarity.

Do you think you can control it ? There's another one.

Your Boss simply asking that question raises a big red flag. By the time they say something, it's been in the back of their minds for a while. You might wanna thank God for the freebie He just gave you ;)

Hello and a big welcome to you,

Keep coming here for starters, and learn about what recovery is. Here there is support no matter what you have done in your drinking career.

Wishing you well.