three grandpartents in 9 months, all gone
workin on life
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: sudbury ontario canada
Posts: 23
three grandpartents in 9 months, all gone
hi all, sorry to dump this on you but i need to get this off my chest before i explode...
My last grandparent died last friday of a massive stroke and basically a broken heart and loneliness. I went to my hometown for the weekend and so many of my huge family treated this as anyother weekend. just made Grans passing the reason this time. I stayed sober dont ask me how while my aunts and uncles all drank and drugged all weekend. this truely peezes me off. I know, I know, I cant change them but you would think they could at least show up at the wake sober I mean it was at 2 in the afternoon but no. I am now on 5 months sober. I know thats a great accomplishment but now that gran is gone all I want is a line of coke and two dozen beer and pretend this weekend didnt happen. How can this be I am mad at my family but I want to do the same thing now that it is all said and done............
wish me luck
SHANEN
staying sober one day, one minute, one second at a time
My last grandparent died last friday of a massive stroke and basically a broken heart and loneliness. I went to my hometown for the weekend and so many of my huge family treated this as anyother weekend. just made Grans passing the reason this time. I stayed sober dont ask me how while my aunts and uncles all drank and drugged all weekend. this truely peezes me off. I know, I know, I cant change them but you would think they could at least show up at the wake sober I mean it was at 2 in the afternoon but no. I am now on 5 months sober. I know thats a great accomplishment but now that gran is gone all I want is a line of coke and two dozen beer and pretend this weekend didnt happen. How can this be I am mad at my family but I want to do the same thing now that it is all said and done............
wish me luck
SHANEN
staying sober one day, one minute, one second at a time
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: British Columbia
Posts: 98
Sorry about your loss.
If you've made it five months (GREAT, btw!), what's another day? Read your own signature
I was drunk at my father's funeral (he was also a drunk) and I'm sure much of my family viewed me with the same disdain that you place on some of your family. Of course you know that medicating yourself won't "even things up," nor will your familiy's behaviour justify yours.
Stay strong. Keep in mind the AA serenity prayer:
"God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,
courage to change the things we can,
and wisdom to know the difference."
Earl
If you've made it five months (GREAT, btw!), what's another day? Read your own signature
I was drunk at my father's funeral (he was also a drunk) and I'm sure much of my family viewed me with the same disdain that you place on some of your family. Of course you know that medicating yourself won't "even things up," nor will your familiy's behaviour justify yours.
Stay strong. Keep in mind the AA serenity prayer:
"God grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change,
courage to change the things we can,
and wisdom to know the difference."
Earl
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 1,768
Hi shanen,
Sorry for your loss. Man 3 grandparents in 9 months is hard to swallow let alone the stuff that happened with the last one. I know your mad at them, but you can't change it. "god, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change......."
Hang in there, shake those people off, and find comfort in warm memories of your Grandparents if you can. Hang in there!!!
Sorry for your loss. Man 3 grandparents in 9 months is hard to swallow let alone the stuff that happened with the last one. I know your mad at them, but you can't change it. "god, give me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change......."
Hang in there, shake those people off, and find comfort in warm memories of your Grandparents if you can. Hang in there!!!
workin on life
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: sudbury ontario canada
Posts: 23
Im just feeling really messed up. I was having a hard time with the whole god thing before and now I am really having a hard time with it. How can I ask for god to give me anything when he/she/it takes so much from me. I dont know. maybe im just too angry and things are still too fresh......
Member
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: Southern Oregon
Posts: 1,768
They ARE still too fresh. Death really makes you think a lot. It tears your heart out, then stomps on it. But you dont want to punish YOURSELF for something you have no control over. It happened, it's over and your life will go on. Now its all in your hands to make it the best that it can be. Stay strong. This is a big fat test for you......and I know you want to pass!!
all of the above also goes for the family drinking and drugging, you had no control over that. Try to let it go. They have addictions. And their addictions are their #1 priority.
all of the above also goes for the family drinking and drugging, you had no control over that. Try to let it go. They have addictions. And their addictions are their #1 priority.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: ENGLAND
Posts: 557
Hi shanen,
I feel for you losing 3 grandparents in such a short period.I lost my grandfather at the back end of last year and like you I was sober while all around me drank.I just had to accept that it was other family members way of coping with loss.Afterwards I didn't hold resentments I just consoled myself with thinking that my grandfather would have been proud of my conduct,he'd seen me fall so many times within my addiction.
So try to hold on to what you've achieved so far in sobriety,5 months is some going and stay strong for your grandparents,they are still with you.
chris
I feel for you losing 3 grandparents in such a short period.I lost my grandfather at the back end of last year and like you I was sober while all around me drank.I just had to accept that it was other family members way of coping with loss.Afterwards I didn't hold resentments I just consoled myself with thinking that my grandfather would have been proud of my conduct,he'd seen me fall so many times within my addiction.
So try to hold on to what you've achieved so far in sobriety,5 months is some going and stay strong for your grandparents,they are still with you.
chris
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