NYCGirl

Tam... I can so relate your last post, my kids and I have been so much calmer withe each other, we laugh and hug and just to silly things. Homework has been less stressful.... and get this without even being asked my 11 years old cleaned th whole kitchen last night, even wiped down the stove and mopped the floor.... weird..

.... but... though he hasn't said it, I feel like my husband is becoming somewhat of an outsider, to some extent it is his own fault.... More on that later... there is a lot more turmoil when he is around and he doesn't get it when i tell him that they were fine until he walked in the door...

Anyway glad to here you are having good day.... sorry you lost your post... I hate when that happens...

Hi, Ruby and C'est

Jules, hang in there I hope the worst has past....

Have a good day all...

P.S. did anyone hear about the principal that was arrested for selling meth and when they arrested him they found him naked and watching porn....

What the F***?

c'est la vie

oh god nyc, what disgusting news. I mean about the principal, lol. The bit about the calm and helpful kids is truly fabulous. I think things are a bit calmer here, but far from perfect. No one has volunteered to clean anything. I'm lucky if they say yes when I ask for help.

I wonder if the hubs are feeling like you are changing into different people. We certainly are different!! I know when I was going to AA and talking about those "friends" it started to feel akward. It's tough for them to see us having lives outside of them. I should probably stop doling out marital advice since I think I still do things to please my hub even if its not in my best interest.

TryingisDying

NYCGirl.....that is sad and disgusting at the same time.

jules1973

Hi C'est.....I saw the sunrise....but I did manage to sleep from midnight until 4:00 a.m. which is the longest I have slept this week...I think it is beginning to take a toll on me, but I will try and get some rest today.....first I am going to attempt a shower though.....I hope I don't slip and fall in there and then have to lay there until DH gets home tonight!!!!! That would be an attractive thing to come home to....me in a bathtub....naked and PRUNED!!!!

jules1973

(((TAM))) I am so sorry you lost your post....ugh...so much effort goes into the long and heartfelt posts that when they are lost it is so frustrating.

Or...maybe it is a God thing......maybe it was all stuff you had to get out and maybe it wasn't "supposed" to reach us....hmmmm.....food for thought!

My cell has no service in our house but I think you have my home # if you want to call that....

I did not hear the story about the principal......but any story that has principal, meth, naked and porn in the same sentence cannot be good!

c'est la vie

jules, you sound good. Do you feel good about having the motrin there if you need it? You haven't gone searching for any bottles have you?

trying, it's ALWAYS good to wake up sober. I can't say so much about being pee covered though.

brynn38

Morning Mommies...dad's, gramp's.....
I hope this finds everyone doing well...

Finally went to dentist yesterday and had tooth pulled! This dentist has a really good reputation here but, this is the first time i've ever had a tooth pulled that took as long...he kept saying"I'm loosening it up" and I swear he was in my mouth for over 30 minutes! I told him that I have tmj and he said "yeah, I keep hearing it popping...you've got it bad" duh! So he braced my right jaw with his free hand and told me that it would probably be bruised..so far it isn't..but, I don't bruise easily. My mouth and head is so sore. He knows about the methadone and still prescribed me 25 ten mg. lorocets. I didn't think I would need them so I didn't pick them up from the pharmacy...but I woke up at 4(again) hurting so bad that I went and found one that I had left from when I went to the dentist a few weeks ago. I don't think i will pick up the script...don't even want them.

I haven't really mentioned this to you all much..or atleast I don't think I have, but I know I told everyone that I've been decreasing off the methadone. well, I've felt so good and been so happy that I've been able to decrease so much so fast. I want off this stuff soooo bad! Anyway, I guess it's got to do with the "half life" of the drug that someone from another site told me about..but for the past several days I've been having withdrawals every evening...starting around 6 or so. Nothing I can't handle yet, but if I had somewhere I had to be around that time...I certainly don't think i could make it. I have been freezing and hurting all over so bad...especially my legs. I've been taking Nyquil for some relief and so I can sleep...damnit...I thought I was doing so good. But, I haven't increased any. Just angry that the progress isn't as good as I thought. I'm trying to tough it out though and don't know if I should increase a little or wait it out. I was at the dentist from 2 p.m. until 6:30 yesterday..he had something come up that took more time than he expected...but they gave me a blanket and I dozed off and on and couldn't get anywhere near warm. I have gotten down to where I've been taking just a tiny sip out of the bottle...and when I compare it to a full one..it's almost like there's none missing. Think I'm going too fast? Oh, I know that i am and I am so glad that most of you don't know much about this stuff and hope that you never have to find out...When I got home yesterday evening after leaving the dentist, I went straight to bed and didn't dare take off my clothes...so I slept in jeans and a sweater and my socks..hell, I didn't even take my bra off! didn't want to move! I had three blankets over me and the heat on and i think it never got below 60 degrees last night outside. (Normally I'm so hot natured that I would have had the air on on a night like this) I keep thinking about Anna Nicole and her son...and all the talk about methadone. I mean no disrespect to her, but I never act or feel drugged up as she appeared to be on t.v. I guess I need to ask someone at the clinic ho safe it is to decrease...they have reccomended five mg. every week or two...and I've already decreased from 110 mg. to about 50 or 60 in about three weeks..or however long it's been since I told you all that I was gonna start decreasing. It scares me...thinking that...well, I was raised on second-hand smoke and worry, so needless to say...I have been really worrying about this. I know, I need to talk to a doctor about this. O.k...enough, makes me mad thinking what i've gotten myself into.

Curly...I can't wait to post pictures of the puppies! it's kinda hard right now since they are still in the dark closet...but the first chance I get, I'll get them out and take some pics with my cell phone. I got a box like someone suggested and cut a "door" out of the front big enogh for lucy to come in and out of and I put a really soft blanket in it and then put them n there...she got in and seemed to like it, then a bout 30 minutes later, I went to see if she was still in it and she had moved them out and was beside the box! I really don't know what to do...I've been trying to keep a blanket down.... and yes, I really like Jon's girlfriend. She is a really nice girl from what I can tell. She seems very mature for her age and seems to have alot of common sense...unlike his ex-fiance. He and I talk about everything and I asked him the other day if they had had sex yet because I know that a couple of weeks ago they had not. well, they have now...after dating for 6 months. I respect her for that and I respect him for being patient and not pressuring her. He said" I know, I know...yes, we use protection." It may not seem like six months is a lontg time to some, but from what I hear, it's pretty good for the most part. Sure, I would love to have heard that they were waiting for marriage...but, I am being realistic!

Jules...so proud of your determination. i wish I could have said the same about taking that pill this morning when I woke up hurting. pleas don't torture yourself though. I guess you and only you know your limits though..hope your leg feels better soon so You don't have to worry about it. I'm sending you a prayer. Feel better soon!

c'est...you are so not lazy! I realize that I don't really "know" you well, but from all your posts..you have got to be a pretty amazing person! I admire you and if you only knew about how lazy i've been lately...i'm sure you'd change your mind realy quick.(funny, i typed name instead of mind?)hehe We are all entitled to have our lazy days...it drives me crazy to not have everything done, therefore I have a very hard time relaxing...always thinking that there's so many things that need to be done..and when I hear my upstairs neighbor(she's got a 3 year old daughter) and a full time job and is single...well it makes me feel like crap! But I keep reminding myself that when I was her age(around 22), I had that kinda energy too.My vacuum cleaner has been sitting in the middle of the floor plugged in and ready to go for...a week or so..since my last cleaning spree, which seemed to last such a short time. oh, well..I'm grateful for my dishwasher...and even though my house might look "neat", I know better. I would hate for someone to inspect it right now! It drives me nuts tot hink about all the time I've wasted and there is not one single reason for my house to be spotless...I have the time...just not the drive. I'll stop rambling...sorry, you just hit a nerve! hehe I'm sure you'll feel better soon. Sending you a prayer also!

Tam...that name is cute...Little Ricky! I think it sounds funny for a puppy, but it's different and i'm gonna use it...thanks! I didn't mention this part, but when she first had her puppies, I had to see parts of my closet that I had not seen in a while....scary! no, seriously, there was a shirt that had fallen off a hanger and was in the floor...a red long sleeve buttondown Tommy Hilfiger shirt...got alot of wild colors mixed in and it's pretty thin so it could be for summer..anway...I thought "tommy" might be another appropriate name, and the really funny part....I found a 1.75 litre bottle of Crown Royal that I had hid...when? dunno...but it's still unopened...anyway...don't think crown or royal would be good names...maybe "king"...had a dog named that once...any other suggestions anyone? four boys! maybe when i get the pictures up it will be easier.

Think I'm gonna go back to bed and try to rest since I'm hurting again...yes, I feel guilty cause I have lots of stuff that could be done...but I have a legitimate excuse this time....

All my love and many hugs and kisses to all my friends...

p.s. While at the dentist...the dental assistant that was helping him turned out to be a girl that I had gone to cosmetology school with when I was preggie with Alex...and she was pregnant with her son also. Anyway..I didn't really recognize her at first, nor she me, but she kept telling me that she loved my hair color and when i told her that I done it myself she wanted to know what I had used...anyway, I told her that I would write down the formula and all the colors that I mixed and drop it off to her and she was telling me that she's single now and we have decided to go out to lunch or a movie sometime...she's sober! same thing happened at the Animal Clinic the day I adopted Lucy and took her for grooming..ran into an old friend and she suggested the same...please urge me to do this...I need to get some kind of a social life with a different crowd...For some reason, I hide though and eventually never end up calling anyone...God, I wish I had someone to tell me what to do everyday...well, better be careful what I wish for....but, you know what i mean. I'm terrible at getting motivated and making decisions. O.k. this time I'm really going!

I intend to read later and find out what's going on with misti...hope she's o.k., and so sad about greeneyes...I'll try to read about that too. Love you guys! Have a super day!

brynn38

Hi Brandi...I see you..how is school? are you feeling more relaxed about it now? hope so.xoxoxo

c'est la vie

thanks for the kind words brynn. I'm so happy to read about your puppies. I can't wait for a picture.

BrandiK

I am starting to 'get' school now, and feeling much better about it. Sometimes Ilookaround at the majority of 20 somethings trying to get their start in the medical field like me, and think how late I am starting ... and only just starting. But I spent 11 years raising my family. Many of us are there for different reasons. I hear often 'money'. I am just excited to be able to contribute to life outside my own home, to be able to help add to my family financially ... and I have fun doing this stuff. To me, this is the perfect step. Not too much, not too little. Medical Assisting isn't bad because it's not the top, that's the addict talking to think so. That's the addict setting me up for failure, sneaky drunk bit@h. LOL Baby steps are ok ... I have not worked AT ALL for years except very little part time retail. I love the labs ... but I miss mymeetings <sniffel> and I miss hanging out with you gals.

I have been reading a great deal. Said many a prayer for greeneyes and her family last night, cried when I saw the picture of her and her hubby and little girl. Just broke open inside ... it's just a step away. I am so afraid of relapse, because so many in my family have died of this disease ... it's so easy ... and now that little girl will have to grow up with out a mommy ... well, now I'm getting sobby again.

Thank you beautiful ladies (and gents!) for being so loving, and accepting,and supporting ... for strengthing eachother and anyone who happens to come along. Thank you for showing me unconditional love and support, and a strength I didn't know possible.

Brynn, you are amazing. Stop beating yourself up. Maybe talk to someone about the meth decrease, or research outside the clinic staff, maybe the nyquil is because your simply going to fast. That's some strong stuff there, and we support you in wanting to be off of it. Just do it carefully, we love you. And now you have all those puppies who need you and will bec climbing all over you soon! (I can't wait to see pics!)

janeeyre

Good morning/afternoon!

Brynn, you are priceless. Did you know that? I love your posts, and your puppy updates. Boy names? How about Linus, Riley, Tim, Bodie, Bogey, Abe, Zeke, Dougal? (I'm going through a photography book I have of dog portraits--can you tell?) I also want to tell you I think you're doing SO well with your methadone tapering--I don't know a thing about it, but maybe you should stay at the dose you're at for awhile--not reduce any further until talking with a doctor--?

NYC, I heard about that sicko school principal this morning and about puked. Makes me want to take an iron skillet to the jerk.

Ayla, you're right about paying attention to newbies. Thank you.

Jules, you are AMAZING. I would be sucking down every painkiller in sight if I were in your shoes (er, cast), and probably end up with a new addiction added to my alcoholism. Keep it up, sweetie. And I hope you get some peaceful rest today.

(((Misti)))

I wish I could sit here and "talk" to ALL of you right now, but I have to get over to the school to work in the library. Be good to yourselves!



Love,
Jane

pookielolo

WOW!!!
I don't really even know what to say right now.
I have been working in the hospital while they fixed my computer, I am home now and catching up
I read the posts by greeneyes, terrifying, addiction is pure he*l, my heart goes out to her family

Mist-please stay here and post, I read your thread, and it is OK to say what is going on to make you feel that way, writing, talking, all those things are necessary when you feel down and lost, please don't hesitate!!!

jules1973

NO...no searching.....the first two days were the WORST with that. I was searching high and low for those freakin pills. DH hid them really well! I guess he knows me better than I had originally thought! I looked in every drawer.....every cabinet...his closet....the garage...I still don't know where he hid them. But yesterday he had left me enough pain pills for the day (he went to work). So he left them in the cup on the counter again....and I did not take any. I am sticking with the Motrin. I even took my shower and even though it still hurts and I am not getting much sleep......at least I do not have to face withdrawals on top of it all....and this whole experience has done wonders with DH and I since he left the choice up to me and I (for once) made a healthy choice and did not try and lie to him.......

Candy Scratch

WTG Jules!!!

Man, if you can get through this without taking a pain pill, then I am humbled and forced to believe I can withstand anything.

Boy, what an inspiration you are.

((((Big Hugs))))
CS

(PS - HI EVERYONE!!)

c'est la vie

beautiful!!

janeeyre

Ayla? Are you around today?

pookielolo

well I think I read almost everything, wow can we talk!! LOL
I cannot comment on everything, but a few

((TAM)) you life sounds so much calmer and beautiful, what's up with hubbies, I will never figure them out, glad you had a nice time with Becca, I remember my mom always staying up late with me, I always did great in school, but procrastinated, big time, and those memories of her helping me to all hours, and never really complaining are held strong in my heart forever

Brynn- how sweet, puppies!!! I am sorry, but mo clue on the methadone, but you sound like you are doing it right??

Brandi-you go girl, glad school is going good for you

((JULES)) amazing is the word that comes to mind... great job on dealing with you pain and addiction!!

((((AYLA)))) where are u

((C'est))) thanks for the talk!!!


NYC, JANE, SCOOT, MISTI, CURLY, CANDY, RUBY and all the new MOMMIES I can't wait to get to know better!!!
I love and miss you all!!!

pookielolo

(((((((((((((((AHH)))))))))))
I missed Beezy, I hope no one else
BTW Beezy, is that you in that picture???

Midas

Thread is now closed due to the 500 post limit. Please see part 17.

Thx.