australia

be happy. that is all that you can do. Try to make life happier...and try to stay alive...
That is all I can say..that is all I know..
Because if you make promises and dont keep them you are doomed...
I know because I do it..
over and over

Hivemind

Well said, I just shut down my mind and plodded through. Great going so far, keep it up, it is hard and your mind will come up with a million stupid reasons why you should just forget the whole thing. Addiction can be very convincing, especially when you feel like you are at your wits end. Things tend to stack up on you till you feel like drink is the only escape, it's not, with a clear head these problem won''t seem as big. You just need to get over that hill first. We are here to help.

bungarra

Hi all, bung here....sending you all love and hoping you didn't buy your guiding angel from my shop..... what a time I have had. I have been painting alot and it's good to release. Isolation on the farm is really affecting me. The kids are great, the little man outta nappies! Sorted through babes clothes and got really clucky, oh do I need my head read... god I love kids, I wish I could cope with another, I sad I can't, but for the best!! Ok dunno when back but sending love to you. xx thanks Hey dubsnz1964....u sounding great... love.xx

Pilgrim

Hi to all,

It's a beautful day! Sun is shining. The last of summer is being very kind to us.

It's so good to wake up to so many friends. I love it that you send me messages over night. When I read them I feel stronger.

Stay close cos I'm about to tackle day 5. I can't believe I made it through day 4 (being Friday and all). Lots of temptation, invites. Lots of comments about being virtuous. "Come on down town and have a drink and a laugh with us". Going home alone instead was one of the hardest things. Day 5 here we go. Bring it on. With you guys beside me I can do this.



BTW, SO came over to keep me company later on. He was still sober. Nice. Not going to reject the help. Need all the help I can get.

Love

Dubs

xx

stone

Hi Dubs, you sound great! Goodluck today or tomorrow or whatever it is there in NZ!

Pilgrim

Thanks for keeping an eye on me Stone.

I am off to bed now. My sleep is unbroken now. No waking up tossing and turning.

Day 5 was much better. SO didn't drink either!!!! Got lots of peace and quiet support. How are you getting on?

I'll read how you are all going in the morning. Good luck to all. Peace!

xxxxxx

Rusty Zipper

dubs ... what are they laughing about... ?

and being virtuous... ppfftt, someone that wants to climb out of a living hell...

dubs.. dont let anyone intimidate, softsoap, or bamboozle you ... you know you want to stay quit... so therea a prime example of.. "Live & Let Live... dubs... just live...

stone... now your pass'n on the message...

wtg bud..

xxoo rz

people, places & things...

Pilgrim

Hey there RZ and good morning to everyone here,

You are so right about the living hell. I was either not managing my life because I was drunk or I was hungover or I was in a bar in the process of getting drunk. This was about half my life and it was getting more. Sure there were days I didn't drink but that was usually hangover days when I was too sick to drink. My "best friend" is the town drunk.

I haven't been an alcoholic for very long. I was a binge drinker. The time to stop would come and go but I would carry on until I was a complete embarassment. Blackouts were long and total.

My job doesn't help. It's a marketing and PR job at a high level. I am expected to drink with clients otherwise they might see me as uptight and unfriendly. Society expects me to drink but expects that I won't get drunk. Well they can't have both.

How do you become the life of the party and a happy party girl that drunk clients like to go out with when you are sober?

Love

Dubs

Pilgrim

Day 6! Here we go. Might go over and hop on the newbie bus today. I will ask HP to help me remember that I can not control how much I drink if I have even one. Just for today.

Golfman

Dubs,

Drunk clients like to go out with you because you're one of them, only female. Believe me, when I was drinking I had one thought in mind...where could find a half-crocked chick that I could pour my heart out to, have a few laughs with, then wind up you know where!!! I used the excuse that my wife just didn't understand me so I need to find a woman who will. What an idiot!!!

Granted, you're in a touch position because of your job. Think about this though, suppose you keep going the way you are and end up losing your job, then what??? Believe it or not there are lots of sober people who entertain clients, go to clubs, concerts, etc. Hell, I'm 56 and have been to see ZZ Top, Lynard Skynard, Tina Turner, Joe Cocker, and most recently Billy Joel. I don't stop having fun just because I'm sober. I just know that after a night of fun, I don't have to wake up regretting what I did.

My prayers are with you,
Ed

ayla zaire

hey, dubs.......glad your making it......i would worry about the clients when you need to........tell them you are taking antibiotics and can't drink.....that's what i do, if i can't explain the truth......or 'i don't drink' simple as that.....then go on to be yourself, who is funny and fun......and sober......of course, my DOC is not alcohol, but i do blackout if i drink.....so i don't drink anymore.......of course, i couldn't call myself sober if i did....

Pilgrim

Golf and Ayla,

Great advice - I love the antibiotics one. Hehe. I'll be on them from now on. People will think I have something that is incurable!

Golf,

Thank you so much. So true. I was going to bring up sex on this site because, and I am being really honest and personal here (it's tough), I don't think I have ever had sex without being drunk! At least not for the past few years since my divorce. What sort of wierdo am I?

I became promiscuious over the last few months while my drinking was at it worst. I look ok I guess. I get told I am pretty but I hate myself so I don't believe it. I think that if they knew me, they wouldn't keep believing that and I knew that in the morning after a rough night, they wouldn't think that.

Total strangers! Some I still don't know their names. I caused pain with two families when their wives found out. I have to face that now and I need to try to seek some sort of forgiveness. Not sure how or where to start there. I am pretty sure I shouldn't contact them.

Nutcases, some of them who knew they could do anything they wanted. Urgh. I never cared about any of them and I didn't understand when they wanted to see me again, be with me, love me etc. I never thought I deserved their interest. I am lucky to still be alive.

You are also right about the professional men. They were not interested in doing business with me.

Sober sex terrifies me....eeeek. Maybe I will just stop that too.

Am I allowed to talk about this stuff here? Oh well, too late I guess. Sorry if I have offended anyone. I mean that.

Pilgrim

That last one was horrible. I am so ashamed. I'm really sorry about how I have been and I would understand if no one here wanted to talk to me again.

stone

Hi dubs, don't worry about it. Everyone here has a list of things they regret doing when drunk, some of which will be far worse than what you mentioned, far worse.
Anyway, that's not the point. Not drinking is the point lol.
Sober sex is a million times better than drunk sex... I seem to remember lol.
I think writing honestly here is a good thing, writing things down can help you to face things and deal with them better than keeping them bottled up.

How are you feeling today? What time is it there? It is 7am in the UK now.

Pilgrim

Hi there Stone. Phew. I thought no one would ever want to write to me again! Being anonymous lets me face things I have never fessed up to before now. Sober sex huh? Ah yes - I remember. It's been so long!!! Hehe.

I am going well. Day 6 is almost over. It's 8.45pm here. I am watching Helen Mirren's Elizabeth 1. She is great!

Had a bad time at the witching hour. 5pm and I poured myself a tonic with a twist in a wine glass while I was cooking.

How are you doing?

xx Dubs

stone

Day 6!

:


That's great dubs! I am only on day 12 myself. I am doing fine I guess, thanks. I couldn't sleep for the first 8 days and I am catching up on sleep lately, I am thinking of going back to bed now in fact lol, I have only been awake for 2 hours. I do have a lot of sleep to make up though.
I want to see Elizabeth 1, Helen Mirren is pretty cool.

Pilgrim

Sleep! I have been so tired but I can't get to sleep until late at night - well actually early morning. When I finally do get to sleep the quality is better though.

Everything has a better quality about it these days.

Day 12! That is amazing. Well done you. You will always be six days ahead of me.

Someone here has the quote "when all else fails, go to bed" or something like that. Makes me laugh every time. I have spent heaps of time in bed. Seems safe and I never drank there.

Well - off to bed for me. Have a good day.

Nitey night.

stone

Lol, I have seen that sig, I love it! Night night dubs

snowboardchic

Hi Dubs,

I was reading you posts and it looks like your past life is extremely like mine....

I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 months recently, not because he drinks, but because I dated him for months drunk and don't know if I like him sober. But then again, I don't know him sober. But I don't know myself sober either. And as far as sex .....I haven't had sober sex in 2 years and don't know if I can do it sober.

Same thing with my job as well. I have some pretty high profile customers that loved to go out with me because I would get wild and crazy and be the entertainment at company functions. I am not sure how I will be able to go out with them sober and have them experience me the same way. I guess I will need to deal with that when the time comes. One day at a time......



6 days is awesome! Keep it up!

Rusty Zipper

dubs, stone... keep at it...

hiya SBC...