nomad1985

Hi, my name is Kyle and for almost a year I used a darvocet a day...at a few points in that year i used more than one a day. For a month over my last christmas break I stopped taking darvocet for a while, and then started taking a 5mg pill of methadone a day...all from my dads perscriptions. I decided a month ago to just stop and get back to life without taking stuff daily.

That was 30 days ago.

My physical craving for the drug has dwindled to almost nothing, but the pyschological and emotional stress I am dealing with is intense. I feel trapped in my own mind. I have seen a doctor, an addiction specialist and a pyschiatrist about my former problem.

The addiction specialist didn't seen to think I was addicted because I hadn't taken that high of a dosage of the pills and wasn't experiencing enough of the symptoms of addiction.

I just need encouragement that the depression, anxiety and overall obsession with "Am I ever going to get back to normal, again?" stuff goes away with time.

Help?
Thanks.

Nomad

desperatensober

hi nomad,

have you ever considered journaling? I find this really good for my depression and anxiety and with racing thoughts. I have been sober for 4 and a half months and I have found that life from day to day for each person is different and that normal one day isnt always normal the next. If you are feeling pride in your accomplishment of 30 days. That is normal. If you are feeling frusterated by doctors this is really normal (i dont know anyone who hasnt been frusterated by doctors from time to time).Things will start to feel right to you when they are right for you. IF you have been using for a while and it sounds like it has been, then do you even know what normal is for you anymore. I used to think it was a normal night for me to go to the bar, play pool, pick up a gram of coke, go home and relieve the sitter, sit and get high till 5 am, go to bed, toss and turn, get up and start my day again.

now a normal night for me is calling my kids (i lost them) having a bath, talking to a friend or two, comming on here (new thing) reading my daily literature, going to bed sober and happy (the happy part most of the time) having a good sleep, get up without a hangover or withdrawls and start my day again.

I dont know if this gives you any hope that things will get back to normal or not, but, I can say in sobriety at least you will be able to remember where you put your car keys(most of the time), where you spent your money and how much, and that you are special and strong and sober yayayayayaya

SHANEN

ayla zaire

nomad, welcome....

i have a very similar story, except i took vicoden.....i consider myself an addict....and i took a small dose, but for quite a while.....and i couldn't stop on my own......it was frightening.....and my doctor didn't take me seriously, either......

i don't know how much of my addiction was physical and how much mental....but either way, addiction can be powerful......

you are doing great! 30 days is a huge accomplishment....and you should be proud.....

i think some people have the mentality that if you take a small dose, you can't be an addict....but i disagree.....i just happen to have no tolerance for drugs...and somehow do not build up much of one, even if i have used for a long time....so my addiction didn't escalate as rapidly as it can for some people, because a small dose gave me a big buzz.....

i'm very glad you had the courage to admit you had a problem and seek help early on.....you may have saved yourself from years of struggle, and that's a wonderful thing....

give it time, you will begin to feel yourself again eventually.....and if your symptoms of depression and anxiety don't get better, it would be a good idea to seek medical help....you do not have to feel that way, and there are many ways a medical professional can alleviate some of those symptoms...

good luck to you..and if your addiction specialist doesn't take you seriously, try and find someone who does....just because you are in the early stages, in my opinion does not mean you don't have a problem...

good luck to you
hugs
ayla

Anna

Hi Nomad and Welcome,

I'm glad you are seeking help and it sounds like you've been taking good care of yourself.

I'd say that you should try to be patient because it will take time for your body, mind and spirit to heal. I would also ask you what other changes you've made in your life besides stopping taking the drugs? I think stopping is only the beginning and there is a long road of recovery to follow.

I would also ask you if you experienced the depression before you started taking the drugs. For me, the depression was always there and the drinking was a last-ditch effort to stop the pain. So, I needed to get on antidepressants and I am still on them. If, the depression is a result of the drugs and stopping them, then just hang in there and you'll notice changes coming.

nomad1985

Other changes I have made include eating three meals a day with carbs, protein and fruits, taking a vitamen regimen twice daily, and running whenever I feel the need to or at night.



This has helped me think more clearly.


I was never depressed before this happened.



Nomad

Anna

Well, it sounds like you're doing a lot towards your recovery! I'm sure you will see an improvement soon. And try to remember the old saying 'progress, not perfection'. I think it's so easy to feel like we haven't come far enough and not give ourselves enough credit.

ayla zaire

it sounds like you are doing all of the right things......

i also suffered from depression before i used....actually, i've been depressed most of my life, even as a child.....

it sounds to me like you are taking very good care of yourself, and doing the things it takes to get well....good for you....

CarolD

Glad to see you again...
Hugs

nomad1985

Is it ever going to be possible for me to enjoy things again? I've found myself not being able to enjoy things I once enjoyed, partly because I am consistently and obsessively thinking about exactly what I am posting in this post, heh.

Thanks for all your encouragement.

Nomad

Missymae737

Hi Nomad and welcome!

What I learned was once the physical withdrawal wears off, you are left with the pyschological withdrawal. Speaking for myself, it took me several months to "feel" normal again. It may have to do with the length of time I was using and how heavy the dose was. I don't think it is the same for everyone.

Anyhow, you will be fine, just keep coming here!

teej

Hi nomad!
This is a great place to come and talk to people, glad you found us!!