teej

Hi chris!!
thank you!! I also went over to the 12 step section on here and read what everyone said and that helps too. .............ok, I'll get it done here in a minute so I dont have to worry about it all day again hehe!! I'll tell you her name in a private message
What step are you on Chris?

teej

Ok YAY, got step 1 down ( I think)!!

chrisj728

Hia tj,Great news that you've started on the steps, tj like you I am only on step one, it's only early in this recovery for me also. But I know that this time i'll do what I was advised once before and treat it as a marathon not a sprint.Tj I was like most in recovery,I gloried in my new self and decided I wanted to run before I could walk and in doing so started projecting myself to far ahead with the steps.With that came distrust of my future, I started worrying about steps 4 & 5 what would I say, did I realy have to tell all, sh1t some of the things I wouldn't want to admit to myself let alone someone else. And you know tj I got myself so messed up about it guess what! I was drinking because of it.
So as I say no rush this time, I know now that the steps were set out in such a manner for a reason & until I have fully completed each one there is no need to be concerned about the others.
Teej i'm not saying this to bring you down, just saying how it was for me I dont want you fall as I did. Honesty about myself is one thing I can bring to the table ! just for today.

Stay strong & true to yourself.

chris

teej

thanks chris!
She's going to come up here in a few. I'll have her read what I have so far and see if I'm even going in the right direction.
How was shopping? I've been cleaning out our bedroom closet and getting rid of stuff we never wear........now there actually room to hang clothes up!!

chrisj728

No probs tj, shopping was fine it's Chloes (grandaughter) 6 birthday next week so we got lots for her,we probably spoil her but she's worth it. Remember it was she that made me realize it was time to try recovery again.The times we say were going to do the closet and never get round to it, somthing always crops up.
I'm sure your sponsor will be fine with what you've done so far,she may put her angle on some of it, but thats what we have one for,to help so we dont hinder our selves.

inabit tj

chris

teej

cool! We'll both have 6 year old granddaughters. Until august anyway. Last year we got her a gift certificate because she's getting picky already!

chrisj728

There all the same tj, ours made her list of presents, but we did ingnore the mobile phone. tj we've been outside tonight watching a lunar eclipse,the moon went like the colour of a setting sun dont know wether you'll get a glimpse of it tonight. Somthing else to add to my list of " well I wouldn't have seen that if I wasn't sober " absolutley awsome.

well I guess it's nearly time for hot chocolate & bed, Happy that your sponsor is coming over!

have a good evening, goodnight mate

chris

teej

Awesome. I hope we can see it from here. We are all the way on the west coast so I'm not sure. Sunset will be in about 1/2 hour or so?

Have a good night mate!!! We made it another day YES!!!!!!

chrisj728

Morning tj, I feel realy positive today and hope you do to, I love Sr on here I can realy start cleaning house, being able to release my self of guilt here sets me in good stead for todays battle of the bottle!.
I'm going into the city centre to get my youngest some new trainers this morning, he'll want to go into every Goth & Rock store there until he decides which pair suits his mood.The last time he had a pair I had to drive him 70 miles,for a pair of Vans trainers with Motorhead on the heel.Oh the joys of parenthood! lol.
Google: the new bullring birminham, to see were I am!

spk to you later tj
chris

teej

Hi chris!
Glad you are feeling positive today, good way to start the day for sure. I googled that, wow, what a cool looking place!! We didn't get to see the lunar eclipse last night by the time the moon was visible over the mountains, it was all white. Still pretty though. I called my Son in Georgia yesterday to make sure he knew to look for it, but he said they had too much overcast to see it.
My Son is one that I worry about with his drinking. Him and his army buddies drink A LOT! When they arent working they are drinking. You can see his myspage page through mine. He's the 2nd one on my friends list. Lots of pictures of partying on there. I cant & wont say anything to him about it as that would make me a hypocrite wouldn't it? I HAVE told him though, to be careful as I would hate to see him turn out like me with this addiction. Thats pretty much all I can say...I think.

chrisj728

Hi tj, sorry you never got to see the eclipse, but tj, "by the time the moon was visible over the mountains" you sound as if you live in a beautiful part of the world.It sounds idilic!. Glad you liked the bull ring it gets it's name from years ago when cattle were hearded to market there,and the hill its on is the site of the first viking settlement.The name Birmingham comes from the Norse, Bjorg inger ham, Bjorgs peoples village. Not that us Brummies are into rape & pilage like our early ancestors,although some of us still retain there drinking prowess, or used to ! Anyway enough local history for now.lol
tj it must be a real worry having your son in the army,being surrounded by a real drinking culture. But tj it isn't hypocritical of you to pass comment, you wouldn't be judging him you would just be doing it out of a genuine concern. Sh1t tj he knows you have all the credentials needed to pass comment on alcohol you passed out with flying colours in the the drinking school. As long as you tell him of the pitfalls you will have done your bit as a mother.
I have real concerns about my middle lad Stephen he is so much like I was at 17, he hangs out with older lads drinking every night after work and all weekend. My real concern is that it never gets in the way of work, which suggests to me that he has that inbuilt resistance to alcohol that turns us from normal drinkers into alcoholics. I just have to remember that I have to accept the things I cannot change and hand his future over to the Big fella in the sky to look after him along with me. But if he falls i'll be here for him sober and ready to help in any way needed.
I'm now going to look at your m/space tj, hope your flexing them legs ready for bowling ? lol

take care, soz if i rambled

chris

teej

hehe it's ok, that rambling helps me! Listening to others idea's besides my own, helps keep me sober. so keep rambling!
One thing that will be good (THE ONLY GOOD THING) when he goes to Iraq for another year, he wont be able to drink there. God, I'm a worry wart! When he leaves, I'm going to be a complete mess! I'll need you guys & AA like never before.

chrisj728

tj you aint no worry wart its natural, does he have a date set yet?

teej

He said it will be anywhere from may to july 31st. He hasn't been given his orders yet, but he's thinking July but he's not sure. They just got done doing their field training exercises so it can be anytime now. They are 'deployable' now he said.

chrisj728

Lets hope that its settled down enough in iraq by then not to warrent any more troops being sent.
tj hows it go with your sponsor and your step 1 last nite,was she Happy ?

IO Storm

Hello.

I have one year sober and nine months clean time. My last run hurt my family. Damaged is more like it. The most hurt were my aged mother who I stole from, and my baby son, Chris, 21, who is in the Navy, and lost all confidence in me. He finally talked to me two months into sobriety and only asked "Why,Mom?" "You would never do any of those things you did." I told him I had just been diagnosed with BIpolar Type I, and my doctors felt that at the time I was in a manic psychotic episode exacerbated by amphetamine abuse. (pillhead) I also told him that was no excuse and I intended to try to make amends to all I had harmed. My son had already fully accepted that I am an alcoholic/addict. I asked him if he could now accept the fact that his mother suffers from a mental disorder as well. He was silent for a time then cried and hugged me and said "I love you Mom, and actuallyI feel better knowing you were sick not just psycho". But others were hurt as well, two daughters, employer who should have fired me, friends, BF, and extended family members. At the end my run My Higher Power then miraculously foiled an attempt of suicide and directed me to sources of help. After that I "knew" somehow that if I turned over my very life, if I I literally threw myself into the care of a forgiving God, I could make it another hour, another day. I was humbled, laid low, and only then open to receive. It is amazing to remember now that after I became totally honest with myself with the help of my Higher Power, the people I had hurt the most (Mother,son,ExBF )told me that they had worried much while was out there had loved me and forgave me WHILE I WAS CREATING THE CHAOS. I consider that a miracle in and of itself, and I have gained a new, deep sense of grace. I have traded humiliation for humility. I have learned to open my tight, controlling, insufficient hands and turn over my loved ones into God's allwise, loving, capable hands..

Keep trusting, keep believing, and stay open.

Love,

IO Storm

teej

Hi Storm!!
Welcome to SR!! Thank you for your post. So much truth in it. Did your Doc put you on meds to correct your bipolar? My cousin has that...

chrisj728

thankyou storm,
You fill me with confidence for my future. I hope that the further I get in sobriety then the people that I hurt will also come to forgive me. I know that somthing greater than myself has given me theese last 63 sober days to show me what has been missing for so long. I also know that I must let that same power take care of all my affairs now, thus relieving me from burden.

chris

Rusty Zipper

Storm, thanks for the share... nice to meet you...

ohoh, chris... c-grats on ... well when you see this it could be day 64... hope so... lol

xxoo, zip

teej

Howdy Howdy everyone!! Glad SR is back up and running! Hope everyone had a happy and sober weekend