CarolD

I see so much pain in your post.
Hugs

My long term depression is why
I began AA recovery.

Have you considered seeing a
doctor for depression?

You are not alone..we understand

nogard

ditto that your not alone, keep letting it out. Focus on today only, not yesterday or the future. Just today. We got sick, one day at a time and we get well one day at a time.

Leave the booze down

Kevin

WantsOut

Remember that alcohol makes people who aren't depressed feel bad, and people who are depressed to feel worse. I like the idea of you trying an anti-depressant (telling the doc clearly that you drink too much) because maybe it will help you not feel so lonely.

And if it's worth anything to you, my life had been nothing but relationships and I can't wait to be alone Everyone is trying to get somewhere other than where they are.

Be gentle with yourself.

chicago

the hopeless state of mind your describing was me in a nut-shell. being addicted to heroin from age 19-25 will do that you. not only could i not take another year of it, i couldnt take another day of it. thats when i was on my knee's praying to a God i didnt believe in. i cried and cried and cried...

admit your way isnt working and ask for help...and take the suggested path laid out before you. if you are vigiliant you will become happy, joyous, and free. how badly do you want this?? are you willing to go to any length to get it?? a miracle will happen if you are...it's been promised to me and im realizing its true.

GlassPrisoner

Put down the bottle *& ask for help. You may just find those thigs again.

BBQBOY

Asking for help & starting recovery is the most noble task to can embark on right now. Saving a life (YOURS) sounds kind of heroic to me. It takes a STRONG person to admit they have a problem. You don"t strike me as a weak person. Stay strong and start recovery soon, you might wan't to look into a rehab stay. It gives a person a clean break, a head start into the recovery process.

Work Hard And Enjoy The Rewards
Keep posting....NED