Any Moms Out There Keeping Sane While Not Using Part 13
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: pass the bon bons
Posts: 2,363
i just can't concentrate enough to keep up here today......sorry.....i'm thinking of you though.....i had one of my headaches when i woke up...so now i'm loopy from my meds.....and i only took half! i'm gonna need another half, though....sucks.....you all know it's my doc....and today it's giving me that old feeling, not making me feel a little ill like it has been.....i hope this doesn't trigger anything.....not that i have access to them anyway....my doctor is still (supposedly) refering me to a neurologist....because nothing but narcotics work on these things.....and i HATE it....chronic pain sucks....and i'm a crybaby anyway........last week i had a headache so bad, i was screaming.....but i've already had a cat scan and it was clear.....nothing to worry about there....just stupid stress, allergies, and tension....arg....i hope i don't come on here later and act totally goofy...(well, what would be new about that...)....if you all want me to stay away while i'm like this, i understand....
brynn.....good job on the edit, girl! thanks, sweetie....you are so sweet and i love you.....
i know you all have things you are going through and i'm sorry...i literally feel like i have add or something....i can't read a whole post and retain the info...but i love you all so much.......i can't tell you how cool i think it is that women, women who are addicts....which are commonly stereotyped as dishonest, junkies, blah blah blah....you know what ignorant people think....im thrilled that we are proving them wrong by being supportive, honest, trusting of each other and by sticking together for as long as we have......the fact that we have formed true, loving friendships is so great....it amazes me and brings me such joy every day......you are a remarkable group of women.....one more thing......the way you let newbies in, and are not cliquish, or whatever.....well, that's freaking cool, too.....
brynn.....good job on the edit, girl! thanks, sweetie....you are so sweet and i love you.....
i know you all have things you are going through and i'm sorry...i literally feel like i have add or something....i can't read a whole post and retain the info...but i love you all so much.......i can't tell you how cool i think it is that women, women who are addicts....which are commonly stereotyped as dishonest, junkies, blah blah blah....you know what ignorant people think....im thrilled that we are proving them wrong by being supportive, honest, trusting of each other and by sticking together for as long as we have......the fact that we have formed true, loving friendships is so great....it amazes me and brings me such joy every day......you are a remarkable group of women.....one more thing......the way you let newbies in, and are not cliquish, or whatever.....well, that's freaking cool, too.....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Middle Ga
Posts: 1,515
I understand the appearing to have your sh!t together syndrome. I'm pretty good at it, too.
When I told the therapist my thoughts on never having a beer on the beach again, she told me to mentally go back to the dinner table 2 Saturdays ago. Replay the video of the 4 of us laughing and OJ squirting out of my son's nose. She reminded me that no beer is worth losing that. How true.
I am having a very serious focus problem today, too. I stopped by to pick something up from my friend who is losing it. She is in bed- so tired. I just hugged her- and I cried. I am so unbelievably sad for her. SHe is so broken. Her husband has left msgs at various therapist offices I guess. I just don't know.
I personaly am good, but feel kind of empty today-
Ayla, I'm sorry you have another headache!!
CS- ouch! Tail bone injuries hurt so bad!!
((Curly))- LOL- I'm sorry- that was such a blonde dorky Tammy move! That did give me a momentary chuckle!!!!!! Thx for that!
When I told the therapist my thoughts on never having a beer on the beach again, she told me to mentally go back to the dinner table 2 Saturdays ago. Replay the video of the 4 of us laughing and OJ squirting out of my son's nose. She reminded me that no beer is worth losing that. How true.
I am having a very serious focus problem today, too. I stopped by to pick something up from my friend who is losing it. She is in bed- so tired. I just hugged her- and I cried. I am so unbelievably sad for her. SHe is so broken. Her husband has left msgs at various therapist offices I guess. I just don't know.
I personaly am good, but feel kind of empty today-
Ayla, I'm sorry you have another headache!!
CS- ouch! Tail bone injuries hurt so bad!!
((Curly))- LOL- I'm sorry- that was such a blonde dorky Tammy move! That did give me a momentary chuckle!!!!!! Thx for that!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: Canada
Posts: 527
(((Ayla))) Those headaches take so much out of you. Have you ever gone for a second opinion as to what may be causing them? If your doctor is referring you to the neurologist than call them up and say you'd like to know when your appointment will be. Don't take "not yet" for an answer. It's painful to even hear you writing when your head is pounding so. Headaches must be one of the worst kinds of "aches" to have. So sorry, sweetie.
As for taking pain pills because you have to - well, you have to if there's no other way to relieve the pain. It's just so touchy under the circumstances -- I can certainly imagine how I would feel and it can be frightening. Good thing you are so in tune with yourself that you can tell when you may be heading into trouble.
Big pain-free hugs flying to your house,
xo
c
As for taking pain pills because you have to - well, you have to if there's no other way to relieve the pain. It's just so touchy under the circumstances -- I can certainly imagine how I would feel and it can be frightening. Good thing you are so in tune with yourself that you can tell when you may be heading into trouble.
Big pain-free hugs flying to your house,
xo
c
Sober and Free
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: bay area CA
Posts: 398
[QUOTE=curlylocks;1200595]yeah that looks like hell!!
just kidding. you are right I am WOMAN hear me roar (even if it is in my dirty sweats lol)
i am going to have to learn how to love me though again i think.
QUOTE]
Did you even know how to be you then? I'm learning to be me. Or rather, learning who I actually am in this actual moment in time. That person who cooked great meals in a messy kitchen is just harder to dig up these days. Now, I cook bland meals in a clean kitchen lol (I never appeared perfect, but I certainly was more creative in the kitchen!)
That facade I put on, that was one of many masks we addicts wear. Taking off the mask brings much joy and love, yes, but it opens up and exposes that rawness we drank or used to hide. It exposes us for who we are, to be open like this. That's pretty scary when feeling comfortable in my own skin seems such a challange.
just kidding. you are right I am WOMAN hear me roar (even if it is in my dirty sweats lol)
i am going to have to learn how to love me though again i think.
QUOTE]
Did you even know how to be you then? I'm learning to be me. Or rather, learning who I actually am in this actual moment in time. That person who cooked great meals in a messy kitchen is just harder to dig up these days. Now, I cook bland meals in a clean kitchen lol (I never appeared perfect, but I certainly was more creative in the kitchen!)
That facade I put on, that was one of many masks we addicts wear. Taking off the mask brings much joy and love, yes, but it opens up and exposes that rawness we drank or used to hide. It exposes us for who we are, to be open like this. That's pretty scary when feeling comfortable in my own skin seems such a challange.
Sober and Free
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: bay area CA
Posts: 398
Vent - I am EXHAUTSED but the constant, unceaseing, never ending, push push push of my kids today. OMf-ingG! My middle, everything is a power struggle. I say sit, she stands. If I want it, she fights it. (trickery doesnt work, tried it. She seems to know what mom really wants) And OMG! She cries at EVERYTHING!!! My oldest is having a heck of a time with school today/ I am SO TIRED of her cryin because she does not want to do the work. It's like every day is this fight of fights and I am so ready to be in school part of the day to have a whole entire, uninturrupted, adult contimplated thought. To have some time where everything I say isnt argued with an outright no, or a demand, or crying or yelling or screaming or fits.
<sigh>
I lovemy kids. But some days, man, I just wanna run the other way.
Thanks ... feel better now
Pookie, it takes time.One day at a time.
Ayla, I am so sorry for your head aches
<sigh>
I lovemy kids. But some days, man, I just wanna run the other way.
Thanks ... feel better now
Pookie, it takes time.One day at a time.
Ayla, I am so sorry for your head aches
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: mommyland
Posts: 324
I so understand the stress from the kids. I adore my kids, but my DS is extremely active, never has played by himself,always needing and wanting and asking, I thought he had ADD, but he is actually gifted, which is wonderful but difficult at times. I can do fine during the day, but when I pick up my kids, it all starts, bottles to wash, baths to do, meals to cook, playtime, dishes again, stories to read all in 2 hrs by myself most nights. I LOVE to do these things, just too much with baby who is cranky and tired and son who wants attention, THIS is when I feel I need to drink, it calms me, I can get all this done without wigging out, I just know
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Somewhere over the Rainbow
Posts: 195
((((Everyone)))) I don't have that much to offer anyone....I read the posts and as I am reading I have ideas but by the time I read everything the ideas have escaped me......I can say this...
Ig - I remember having all of those issues with my sponsor, I would leave her messages only to get a phone call or email days later saying that she had not gotten all of my messages. She had sponsored like 23 people and although at times she was really great, I think it was a HP thing that she had fired me.....even though that was totally A** backwards!
I did have to remember at times that she was sick too......and sponsors are not perfect in thier recovery even though we think they should be.....if she is not working for you, find a second one...you can have more than one sponsor. Sometimes people have one they work the steps with and one they check in with.
Misti.....I know this is so frustrating for you and I don't think I am alone when I say I wish I could do more than pray for you and the kids.....Kev is right, all you can do is talk to everyone involved...the more honest you are the better. (((MISTI)))
Tam- I am so sorry to see you like this.....I think this is the first time I have witnessed you being sad.....it is actually good because now I know you are "human"
You are truly a good person but please do not take too much on yourself. You can pray for others and help as much as you can but you cannot fix stuff for other people even though you wish you could. Don't be sad, Tam....
Ayla - I hope your headaches go away....I know how hard it is to be in pain all of the time....try not to focus on it though...sometimes that makes it worse.
Brandi - keep up the fight...and remember that everytime you react to them they win and THEY KNOW IT....those little devils......we are raising evil little things, aren't we? Just kidding.....they just have thier moments!
POOKIE....do not be silly, of course you will get there.....this is progress not perfection....my gosh...even those with years and years of recovery still have thier moments, but it gets easier...that is something that I have heard and that I believe because if recovery was like this (crappy) all of the time than no one would be in recovery. Millions of people are in recovery and stay sober because it FEELS BETTER than it did when we were using/drinking......remember your worst day drinking and today will seem easier.
I totally get caught up in the appearance thing too.....I think I chose one thing a month to obsess about......and being happy with "plain old me" just is not good enough yet.....I hope I will get there eventually.....
p.s.....I am still staying away from medicine cabinets!! I am SUCH a loser!
Ig - I remember having all of those issues with my sponsor, I would leave her messages only to get a phone call or email days later saying that she had not gotten all of my messages. She had sponsored like 23 people and although at times she was really great, I think it was a HP thing that she had fired me.....even though that was totally A** backwards!
I did have to remember at times that she was sick too......and sponsors are not perfect in thier recovery even though we think they should be.....if she is not working for you, find a second one...you can have more than one sponsor. Sometimes people have one they work the steps with and one they check in with.
Misti.....I know this is so frustrating for you and I don't think I am alone when I say I wish I could do more than pray for you and the kids.....Kev is right, all you can do is talk to everyone involved...the more honest you are the better. (((MISTI)))
Tam- I am so sorry to see you like this.....I think this is the first time I have witnessed you being sad.....it is actually good because now I know you are "human"
You are truly a good person but please do not take too much on yourself. You can pray for others and help as much as you can but you cannot fix stuff for other people even though you wish you could. Don't be sad, Tam....
Ayla - I hope your headaches go away....I know how hard it is to be in pain all of the time....try not to focus on it though...sometimes that makes it worse.
Brandi - keep up the fight...and remember that everytime you react to them they win and THEY KNOW IT....those little devils......we are raising evil little things, aren't we? Just kidding.....they just have thier moments!
POOKIE....do not be silly, of course you will get there.....this is progress not perfection....my gosh...even those with years and years of recovery still have thier moments, but it gets easier...that is something that I have heard and that I believe because if recovery was like this (crappy) all of the time than no one would be in recovery. Millions of people are in recovery and stay sober because it FEELS BETTER than it did when we were using/drinking......remember your worst day drinking and today will seem easier.
I totally get caught up in the appearance thing too.....I think I chose one thing a month to obsess about......and being happy with "plain old me" just is not good enough yet.....I hope I will get there eventually.....
p.s.....I am still staying away from medicine cabinets!! I am SUCH a loser!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: pass the bon bons
Posts: 2,363
hi pinkie.....i seeee you....
i have never given a crap what people thought of me, or appearances....i guess that stems from my head shaving, dog collar wearing, pink hair having alternative grunge girl days......so, sorry i can't relate.....i just don't understand we are supposed care what people who don't matter in our lives, who have no influence, and don't even care about us, think......give it up, girls.....it's liberating.....pookie......my son is gifted, too.....(chase) and i can so relate.....he has so much energy and his mind moves so quickly....and he is bored so much of the time........
i have never given a crap what people thought of me, or appearances....i guess that stems from my head shaving, dog collar wearing, pink hair having alternative grunge girl days......so, sorry i can't relate.....i just don't understand we are supposed care what people who don't matter in our lives, who have no influence, and don't even care about us, think......give it up, girls.....it's liberating.....pookie......my son is gifted, too.....(chase) and i can so relate.....he has so much energy and his mind moves so quickly....and he is bored so much of the time........
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: road to recovery
Posts: 1,689
jules--you are so wise and basically have said everything that i would say in your post above.
ig--my sponsor is wonderful. keep looking around and find another.
misti--i don't know how you do it. if i had four kids and tried to do all you do, i'd be in the loony bin. call me or one of us anytime (pm your phone number). you have a lot on you but reach out and we'll try to help as best we can--even if it's just a shoulder we can offer you.
ayla--feel better hon.
guys--look, we are all changing, growing, morphing into new beings. it isn't easy and there will be rough patches as we stretch into our new selves. i don't feel like drinking but i am overeating, and oversleeping and generally being non-productive and hibernating.
curly--i totally hear you on the new messier you (except i don't think i was so perfect on the outside before i quit drinking). i seem not to care about getting everything done. i'm hoping this is a phase and will pass. otherwise, i'm going to have to kick meself in the butt.
candy--ditto on the exercise and losing weight. i gained 15 pounds in the last month or two and am sooo upset about it.
i don't want to turn my alcohol addiction into some other addiction--like food, procrastination, etc.
but why can't i get obsessed with something good like exercise or nutrition?
ig--my sponsor is wonderful. keep looking around and find another.
misti--i don't know how you do it. if i had four kids and tried to do all you do, i'd be in the loony bin. call me or one of us anytime (pm your phone number). you have a lot on you but reach out and we'll try to help as best we can--even if it's just a shoulder we can offer you.
ayla--feel better hon.
guys--look, we are all changing, growing, morphing into new beings. it isn't easy and there will be rough patches as we stretch into our new selves. i don't feel like drinking but i am overeating, and oversleeping and generally being non-productive and hibernating.
curly--i totally hear you on the new messier you (except i don't think i was so perfect on the outside before i quit drinking). i seem not to care about getting everything done. i'm hoping this is a phase and will pass. otherwise, i'm going to have to kick meself in the butt.
candy--ditto on the exercise and losing weight. i gained 15 pounds in the last month or two and am sooo upset about it.
i don't want to turn my alcohol addiction into some other addiction--like food, procrastination, etc.
but why can't i get obsessed with something good like exercise or nutrition?
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: road to recovery
Posts: 1,689
as for my appearance...gee, i think at one time i must have been pretty vain although i guess i took it all for granted. i still think of myself as this young, thin, fit, kinda pretty girl and i am sooo not that any more.
they say you have three appearances, the one you think you are, the one that you think people see, and your actual (or something like that).
i didn't look at myself in the mirror or allow pictures of myself for years. but then again, i was really into clothes and accessories for most of my life from age 14-34 or so. ayla--i went through some punk, ska and goth phases but even during them, it was all about how i looked too. even if i was all dresses in goodwill and tatters, it was carefully planned. crazy.
but these past few years, i have really let myself go. the kids are little, i don't always go out. i don't always get a shower...and why bother getting dressed? and so the cycle begins....
it will be nice to start feeling good about my appearance again. maybe even feel sexy again. but when and how will this happen?
i really gotta get myself motivated to eat right and work out. but it's hard...when my only solace and escape is food and sleep.
ya think i need a program for this too? argh.
they say you have three appearances, the one you think you are, the one that you think people see, and your actual (or something like that).
i didn't look at myself in the mirror or allow pictures of myself for years. but then again, i was really into clothes and accessories for most of my life from age 14-34 or so. ayla--i went through some punk, ska and goth phases but even during them, it was all about how i looked too. even if i was all dresses in goodwill and tatters, it was carefully planned. crazy.
but these past few years, i have really let myself go. the kids are little, i don't always go out. i don't always get a shower...and why bother getting dressed? and so the cycle begins....
it will be nice to start feeling good about my appearance again. maybe even feel sexy again. but when and how will this happen?
i really gotta get myself motivated to eat right and work out. but it's hard...when my only solace and escape is food and sleep.
ya think i need a program for this too? argh.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: here, there, everywhere
Posts: 2,112
guys, i just want to reach out and give big hugs to all of you! because i went to that rent place today, i have not had time to read back as i am trying to cram a day's worth of work in before five
bad news: rental assistance place denied me cause they could not reach my landlord
unbelievable news: an anonymous donor has given me 500 to pay my landlord to hold him off so he does not evict me
there are true angels in this world, you mommies are some of the best, and so is my mystery person. how unfrigginbelievable
thanks to all of you for your support, and i will catch up with you all later
hugs
misti
bad news: rental assistance place denied me cause they could not reach my landlord
unbelievable news: an anonymous donor has given me 500 to pay my landlord to hold him off so he does not evict me
there are true angels in this world, you mommies are some of the best, and so is my mystery person. how unfrigginbelievable
thanks to all of you for your support, and i will catch up with you all later
hugs
misti
Member
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Indiana
Posts: 693
Wonderful news, Misti! Good things happen to good people!
Hey Alissa...I see you're logged on. Have you started your new job with the dentist? Let us know how you and Mally are doing...
I think the snow is almost over. We got about 6 inches. It's very pretty and I'm thankful no one has to be anywhere tonight so we can stay in and stay warm. The kids want breakfast for dinner so I'm off to make my specialty...biscuits and gravy. I've done so well on my diet the past week, plus not being able to taste or smell has helped. I'm not sure I can resist tonight's dinner though!!! Mmmm. I love biscuits and gravy!!!! So much for the 5 lbs. I lost!!!
Hey Alissa...I see you're logged on. Have you started your new job with the dentist? Let us know how you and Mally are doing...
I think the snow is almost over. We got about 6 inches. It's very pretty and I'm thankful no one has to be anywhere tonight so we can stay in and stay warm. The kids want breakfast for dinner so I'm off to make my specialty...biscuits and gravy. I've done so well on my diet the past week, plus not being able to taste or smell has helped. I'm not sure I can resist tonight's dinner though!!! Mmmm. I love biscuits and gravy!!!! So much for the 5 lbs. I lost!!!
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