And Thus Ends Day 4
Take it like a bear...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In the den
Posts: 348
And Thus Ends Day 4
Today is day four off percocet and tramadol, huge habit.
I went to the office of the PA who prescribed the tramadol, I had called him last Thursday for catapres, and had fessed up that I had been eating the tramadol as well as percs from a pain doc.
I have a pretty good relationship with this guy and felt like sh!t, essentially telling him I had lied to him when getting refills. But he took it well and I believe our professional relationship will survive.
He prescribed a non-narcotic sleep aid (the onn with Lincoln and the gopher on the commercial), and tomorrow it's back to work. I'm down to one catapres daily. I realized today, for the first time, I had to think about taking my pill. Usually they're just hanging on my keychain. But today, I had to remind myself to go take it. That, my friends, was pretty cool. Some residual withdrawal, but manageable. Still have not slept more than two hours a night, so we'll see how it goes tonight.
I'll let you know how tomorrow goes. I have a pretty sensitive job and I've never done it without at least tramadol. Send out good vibes, okay?
Da Stagebear
I went to the office of the PA who prescribed the tramadol, I had called him last Thursday for catapres, and had fessed up that I had been eating the tramadol as well as percs from a pain doc.
I have a pretty good relationship with this guy and felt like sh!t, essentially telling him I had lied to him when getting refills. But he took it well and I believe our professional relationship will survive.
He prescribed a non-narcotic sleep aid (the onn with Lincoln and the gopher on the commercial), and tomorrow it's back to work. I'm down to one catapres daily. I realized today, for the first time, I had to think about taking my pill. Usually they're just hanging on my keychain. But today, I had to remind myself to go take it. That, my friends, was pretty cool. Some residual withdrawal, but manageable. Still have not slept more than two hours a night, so we'll see how it goes tonight.
I'll let you know how tomorrow goes. I have a pretty sensitive job and I've never done it without at least tramadol. Send out good vibes, okay?
Da Stagebear
Member
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: pensacola, Fl
Posts: 84
I truely hope everything works out for you. You are a stronger person than I seem to be as I have recently gotten hooked on Lortabs after a routine dental procedure gona totally wrong and ever since they have been so easy to get and they make me feel good. I hate that I cant hate taking them. What made you decide to quit? They have caused no problems for me yet. No one in my life knows I am taking them and has even suspected that I am on anything. Like I said nothing bad so I cant hate them but I know I shouldnt take them. What made you do this???
Take it like a bear...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In the den
Posts: 348
First, I should qualify that I had previous recovery experience from booze. I'm not big on continued attendance at A.A., my choice, but I managed to put 16years alcohol free together.
But, let me tell you, the pills are a whole different world. I now understand why N.A. people used to say A.A.'ers could never understand them.
Why did I stop? Interesting question. I was not in trouble at work, nor with the law. I jockeyed a couple of Ultram prescriptions between pharmacies but since they're not controlled, I wouldn't have been in that much trouble. I am a fairly respectable looking gentleman of 50, and pretty knowledgable on pharmaceuticals. So doctor's had no problem prescribing for me, as I essentially told them what I wanted. And they all knew I had a history of alcoholism.
The trouble was in my head. I spent countless hours trying to figure out which prescription was due to be called in next. Protected my supply and was anxious beyond belief if it looked like I may run out. That's not what I signed on for. So, last Wednesday as I realized I was down to my last few pills, I had a choice. Cultivate a new doctor or ask a friend for more of hers...or stop. There's an old song from Valley of the Dolls that says something like "gotta get off from this ride...need to get hold of my pride". That's what kept running through my head.
I noticed in your post on another thread, you said you were into xanax so bad your mom was making "do not fill" and "do not give prescriptions" calls. Do you really think it will be different with Lortab?
I'm no better than anyone else. I'd just had enough. What I was so scared of, the withdrawal, has been relatively easier than expected (though I'm STILL not asleep as you can see!). Do what you need to so for you, when you need to do it. If it still feels good and you're not in any trouble, it's harder, sure, but it can be done. We all make choices every day and they guide our lives in remarkable ways. Make yours a good one.
Best,
SB
But, let me tell you, the pills are a whole different world. I now understand why N.A. people used to say A.A.'ers could never understand them.
Why did I stop? Interesting question. I was not in trouble at work, nor with the law. I jockeyed a couple of Ultram prescriptions between pharmacies but since they're not controlled, I wouldn't have been in that much trouble. I am a fairly respectable looking gentleman of 50, and pretty knowledgable on pharmaceuticals. So doctor's had no problem prescribing for me, as I essentially told them what I wanted. And they all knew I had a history of alcoholism.
The trouble was in my head. I spent countless hours trying to figure out which prescription was due to be called in next. Protected my supply and was anxious beyond belief if it looked like I may run out. That's not what I signed on for. So, last Wednesday as I realized I was down to my last few pills, I had a choice. Cultivate a new doctor or ask a friend for more of hers...or stop. There's an old song from Valley of the Dolls that says something like "gotta get off from this ride...need to get hold of my pride". That's what kept running through my head.
I noticed in your post on another thread, you said you were into xanax so bad your mom was making "do not fill" and "do not give prescriptions" calls. Do you really think it will be different with Lortab?
I'm no better than anyone else. I'd just had enough. What I was so scared of, the withdrawal, has been relatively easier than expected (though I'm STILL not asleep as you can see!). Do what you need to so for you, when you need to do it. If it still feels good and you're not in any trouble, it's harder, sure, but it can be done. We all make choices every day and they guide our lives in remarkable ways. Make yours a good one.
Best,
SB
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Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Stagebear I wish you all the best, I am an alcoholic and pills or anything else scare the hell out of me. I drank for 40 years and I have a nasty feeling if I started playing the pill game all it would do if I run out would get me right back to drinking because all I have to do is run down the street and buy some.
Take it like a bear...
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In the den
Posts: 348
Originally Posted by Tazman53 
I have a nasty feeling if I started playing the pill game all it would do if I run out would get me right back to drinking because all I have to do is run down the street and buy some.
While I am eternally grateful that I did not pick up a drink through all of this, I know how close I came. Relapse is relapse and substance is a substance, yada yada yada, but the differences in how the addiction affected me are astonishing. I'm about as suburban white bread as one can get and I was starting to wonder where I could cop pills in a very near, very famous drug city. Scary...
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